Do you have DOG PROBLEMS? Barking, Aggression, Too Protective, Biting or Nipping, Distructiveness, Pulling on the Lead, Toilet Indoors, Fears, can't be Left Alone, Obsessive Behaviour, Won't Eat?
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Silly Season
Silly Milly is being Very Silly. Milly is In SEASON. It is Milly's SILLY SEASON.Last time it was Spring. This time it is Autumn. Milly Prances around me. She Paws me. She Barks at me. She Wriggles her Bum at me.I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.Person says that's because I have No Balls. No Balls? There are two Yellow Tennis Balls and one Red Rubber Ball in the box with our Old Bones.Anyway, I'm glad she doesn't have Summer and Winter as well. Spring and Autumn is quite enough, thank you.Marmite can't have a Silly Season. Marmite has had The Operation. (I hope Milly soon has The Operation also).Anyway, I love Monty the Mont best of all.
Every evening He-Person says Where's that Flaming Chocolate Dog? Marmite is outside, in the dark, hoovering up the bird seed.Person went to see a Portuguese Potengo on Sunday.Here he is. His name is Tom.
Tom barks when he is Sad or Scared when his Persons go out and leave him by himself.
Then Person went to see Barkly Bear.
Barkly Bear is a Labradoodle and he is Petrified of Traffic.
His Tail goes Between his Legs; he Licks his Lips.
Person said Don't take him near Traffic for now. Not until he is ready.
Here is Barkly Bear looking a little Worried.
Anyway, here I am trying to get Monty the Mont to PLAY.
Labels: Labradoodle, Portuguese Potengo
My Adventure
I had a BIG Adventure.Every night, while I am Asleep in bed, a Little ANIMAL comes into our field and Runs Around.The Little Animal comes in through a Little Round Hole in the fence.Every morning I Sniff and I Follow where the Little Animal has been Running Around in our Field.But SNIFFING where the Little Animal has been running around is not what I want. I want to FIND the Little Animal.So, while Monty the Mont, Marmite and Milly were all in the house, I went to the Little Round Hole where the Little Animal comes through the fence.Very quickly I made the Little Round Hole into a BIG Round Hole.I didn't find the Little Animal, but I did meet two Very Nice Ladies. The Two Very Nice Ladies let me jump into their car. Onto the soft seat! We went for a ride. Because my Person is the Dog Lady, people bring Found Dogs to her. Usually it's the Found Spaniel from over the road or the Found Alaskan Malumute from down the road.Person went to the Kind Ladies' car. It will be that Found Spaniel from over the road again, she said.The Kind Ladies opened their car door so Person could take a look.IT WAS ME!I said Goodbye to the Kind Ladies and I said Goodbye to the Builder who was by our house and I said Goodbye to the Man down the road who was watching and I said Goodbye to the Postman who was there too. Now there is Sheep Wire over the Little Animal's big hole. But Sheep Wire won't keep the Little Animal out!It is not a Sheep. I think it is a Weasel.Sheep Wire won't keep a Weasel out.Anyway, here is a picture of us on our new beds.
And here are Monty the Mont and Marmite eating more Apples.
Labels: Alaskan Malamute, cocker spaniel
The Last Apple
Here is Milly. She is looking at our Last Apple.I jump HIGH and grab apples for Marmite and Monty the Mont and Milly. I CAN FLY.Now there is only One Apple left.
Person has been to see lots of Puppies recently.Here is Winston who is six months old. Winston is a BROWN Cocker Spaniel.Winston is the same BROWN as Marmite!
Winston likes to DIG HOLES.Yesterday Person met Toby and Ruby. They are Patterdale Terriers. Toby and Ruby are 14 weeks old.
Toby and Ruby are brother and sister. They LOVE each other. They cuddle up together.
Toby and Ruby also FIGHT each other. Things Get Out Of Hand.
Persons says it's not Proper Fighting. They are Playing 'Who Is Top Dog'.
Ruby bites Toby's ear and Toby Screams. Toby Screams before Ruby's teeth even touch his ear! He Screams just in case.
When Toby Has Enough and he gets his own back.
Anyway, when I have to show Monty the Mont that I am Top Dog, Monty usually stands still. Monty doesn't Scream. He looks the other way. He looks the other way and waits for me to Stop.
Just sometimes, though, Monty the Mont Has Enough and gets his own back.
Labels: cocker spaniel, dog eating apples, labrador puppies, patterdales
Eyes and Eyebrows
I am a Sight Hound. I SEE EVERYTHING.
I SAW the Green Flower Pot that Silly Milly found (I did let her keep her Red Toy).
Person went to see a Lurcher called Del Boy. I am a Lurcher too!
Del Boy is Fearful of Persons he Doesn't Know. Del Boy is Fearful of Dogs too. He's Getting Better now.
(I'm not Fearful of any Persons. I'm not Fearful of any Dogs).
Del Boy is Rough Coated with Bushy Eyebrows.
(I am Smooth Coated and I have Whiskers not Eyebrows).
Here is Del Boy with Bushy Eyebrows.
Anyway, I have NINE Whiskers over my right eye and I have ELEVEN Whiskers over my left eye.
Person Counted them.
Labels: lurcher, sight hound
Kissing Karen
Karen came to see us. I haven't seen Karen for a Long Time.
And Silly Milly hasn't seen Karen for a long time.
Silly Milly was very SCARED when she saw Karen a Long Time Ago. Silly Milly is SCARED of persons, but she is Getting Better.
I just had to Kiss Karen, Monty the Mont just had to Kiss Karen, and Marmite just had to Kiss Karen too.
Silly Milly didn't want to be Left Out.
Soon Milly was Kissing Karen!
Person says Kissing Karen is PROGRESS.
For some reason it isn't Progress when I Kiss Karen.
Kissing Karen is Just Too Much when I do it, Much too Much when Monty does it, and Simply a Nuisance when Marmite does it.
Person has just visited a Utonagen. Her name is Leila.
Leila looks just like a WOLF.
Leila is nearly as Scared of Persons as Milly.
Person says Milly is Scared of Persons because puppies need to meet lots of different persons and see lots of different things before they are twelve weeks old.
Milly didn't get used to persons before she was twelve weeks old. She was in a shed called a Puppy Farm with just other dogs for company.
So Silly Milly will probably be a little bit Scared of Persons ALWAYS.
Anyway, I am never Scared of Persons
Labels: puppy farm, scared dog, utonagen
Person went to see a Terrier called Poppy yesterday. Poppy is a very NERVOUS Dog. Poppy Licks Doors and she can't stop. Poppy Chases Shadows and she can't stop. Poppy Sucks her Soft Toy and she can't stop.Poppy PANTS a lot. Poppy DRINKS a lot. Poppy SHAKES a lot.Person is showing Poppy's Persons how to Take Poppy's Stress Away. Soon Poppy will be more CALM and HAPPY.Anyway, I'm not a NERVOUS Dog.
Here is Poppy's Cat. Poppy's Cat isn't NERVOUS either - until Poppy Chases her that is.
Here are Dandy and Jasper. They are Brothers. They are nine months old.
Dandy and Jasper had started Fighting. Especially over CHEWS.
Dandy and Jasper don't Fight over Chews any more.
Labels: nervous dog, patterdale terrier
Milly's Crimes
Person says Milly has been Trying it On. Person showed Milly that Trying it On Wouldn't Get Her Anywhere. So Milly is a Good Girl again now. (I like it best when Milly is Trying it On). Person says it is because she is a Teenager.Person has made a list of her CRIMES.She CHEWED the Tea TowelShe CHEWED the Dish Sponge
She BROUGHT INDOORS Burnt Wood from the Bonfire
She CHEWED the edge off the Veranda Mat
And she STOLE a Pack of Drawing Pins and scattered them everywhere.
So Person has now Removed All Opportunities. The Tea Towel is out of reach now, the Dish Sponge is behind the taps, the Bonfire is blocked off, the Vernada Mat is covered, and no Packs of Drawing Pins are left about.
I expect Milly will find a New Crime to do. I hope so.
Anyway, here is Jester's Sister Lolepop with some of the PUPPIES!
And here is Sam who Person went to see last week. Sam is a Girl. Sam looks just like Milly.
Sam doesn't do Teenage Crimes any more now she's 18 months old.
And here is Bella. Bella is a Mix of King Charles Spaniel and Half Chihuahua. (I am a Mix of two things also). 
Bella is a very LITTLE dog, and Bella looks very GOOD. But Bella is 11 months old, so she is a Teenager like Milly. Bella Tries It On too.
Anyway, Person says I'm a GOOD BOY now because I have at last Grown Up.
Labels: chihuahua, German Shepherd, king charles spaniel, puppies
Big black dog and little black dogs
Person's Friend's Patterdale Terrier Lolepop whose brother Jester writes to me on my Blog Zonkboard has just had SEVEN PUPPIES. The Puppies are Black.
Monty the Mont is Black too.Person went to see a Black German Shepherd the other day. Her name is Luna.
Luna means MOON.Black Moon?Luna is 16 months old and I would like to play with her.I am a Speed Hound, so I would be able to catch her.I am a Sight Hound too, but I may not be able to catch Luna in the dark. Unless the Moon is Silvery that is, not Black. I can always catch Milly in the Dark.Silly Milly isn't Black.
Milly and I have started a New Hole. A new BLACK Hole.
Person says she wishes she had Caught us In The Act.
Anyway, I am a Hearing Hound too. I can Hear Person Coming.
Labels: black dog, German Shepherd, labrador puppies, patterdale terrier
Eyes, arms and Legs
I am a Sight Hound. I can see a LONG WAY AWAY. I can see Dogs in the distance going for Walks.The other day I went for a Walk with Person. Just me. I was walking nicely beside Person and she Fell Over. Person had a Black Eye.I have Brown Eyes.Today Person Went to see a German Shepherd called Ella.Ella BIT MY PERSON!
Well, she GRABBED Person by her arm, she GRABBED Very Hard, as Person walked into Ella's house. Person now has a BIG BRUISE.Poor Ella is only 21 months old. She had been trained to GRAB people by their arms. Then, because she wasn't good enough at GRABBING people by their arms, they Got Rid Of Her. She was in Rescue Kennels for a whole year before her persons rescued her.So now Ella must learn not to GRAB people by their arms.Milly is a German Shepherd too, but Milly doesn't know how to GRAB people by their arms. 
Anyway, if Person had four legs she would not have Fallen Over.
I have Four legs, so does Monty the Mont, so does Marmite and so does Silly Milly.
Dogs have four legs especially so they don't Blow Over when it's Windy.
Here are Marmite's four legs, and here is Monty the Mont looking puzzled. 
Labels: German Shepherd
new toy
Person met Hector last week. Hector is a Great Dane.
Hector is ENORMOUS.
Hector is a VID. A Very Important Dog. Hector ate a VLS which is a Very Long Stick and Hector was In the News.
The vet pulled out the Very Long Stick.
Hector was Asleep at the time.
The Stick was Two Person Feet Long. My Person actually held The Stick in her hands.
Anyway, Milly has a New Toy. Milly's New Toy is Red and it Squeaks.
I have Milly's New Red Toy which Squeaks. It's mine.
I am not asleep. Not really.
Monty the Mont, Marmite and Milly can't have the New Red Toy. That is because I am a VID.
Milly can have her New Red Toy that Squeaks when I am ready.
Silly Milly sometimes chews sticks (and stones).
Silly Milly doesn't EAT them though.
Labels: great dane
Snow and Cesar Millan
Person dropped Cesar Millan in the bath.Cesar Millan says dogs need Boundaries and Limitations. Our Field as a Fence.Tomorrow Person is going to see a Rotweiller called Cesar.
Anyway, Marmite is now a Dalmation.
Labels: cesar millan, dalmation, dog whisperer
Snow and feet
Yesterday Person gave me a Bone. Person gave Monty the Mont a Bone, she gave Marmite a Bone, and she gave Silly Milly a Bone.
I wanted to Bury my Bone outside but the door was shut.
We Swapped Bones.
And we Ate Bones. Marmite Ate the most Bones.
Marmite eats SNOW too.
Today the snow is a FOOT deep. A PERSON FOOT that is, not a DOG FOOT.
In the snow Marmite has no Feet at all. Marmite has no legs either.
Here is poor Jester's foot after he tore his toe nail out.
And here are Milly's Feet after she dug a Big Muddy Hole the other day.
Milly FOUND THE MOLE.
She brought the MOLE in to show Person. Then she Ate the Mole. In One Gulp.
Anyway, I expect there is another Mole for me to dig up.
When the Snow goes away.
Cold Outside
No Wise Men. No Santa. No Gifts.Perhaps it's because I dug HOLES last year. Perhaps it was because I make a BIG FUSS when Person takes Milly out and leaves me behind.Anyway, we had SNOW in our Field.
Marmite EATS SNOW.
Silly Milly EATS ICE.
Silly Milly brings ICE from our water bucket into the house. Milly Scrunches ICE.
Here is Tiny Tilly.
Tilly is a Puppy Cocker Spaniel. Tilly nearly CHOKES herself because she pulls on her lead so Person advised Tilly's Persons to get Tilly a Harness. Person showed Tilly's Person how to get Tiny Tilly to WALK NICELY.Just sometimes I try to PULL on my lead, so Person Changes Direction. Just sometimes Marmite and Monty the Mont try to PULL on lead, so Person just Changes Direction.
Or she just STOPS and WAITS. And WAITS.
Person says Silly Milly walks BEST OF ALL and that's because Milly never did Dog Training. Milly was never Yanked Back like they do in Dog Training and Milly was never Commanded Heel like they do in Dog Training. Milly walks BEST OF ALL just because Person showed her how and she wants to.Milly has Tufty Ears.
Labels: pulling on lead
Three Kings of Orien Tar
I have a New Place to BE.
My New Place is HIGHER than Monty the Mont, HIGHER than Marmite and HIGHER than Silly Milly.
I like being HIGHER.
From my new HIGH PLACE I shall be able to see when Three Kings bring me Bones and Squeaky Toys and Chews.
I like being IN FRONT too.
Yesterday after dark there was Singing outside our house. Person said it was the Round Table. I couldn't see any Round Table. I could only see a Chair. The Chair looked like my new HIGH PLACE and it was on a moving trailer. Sitting on the Chair was a Man Person with a Red Hat and a White Beard shaking a tin of money. The singing was called We Three Kings of Orien Tar.
Anyway, I know there is no such thing as Father Christmas really because Person told me.
In Season
Silly Milly is In SEASON.I am in SEASON too. I am in Winter. It is a Foggy morning.
Silly Milly is On HEAT. So is Milly in Summer? (I am in Winter, Monty the Mont is in Winter and Marmite is in Winter).
Person says I am being very BOSSY just now because Silly Milly is In SEASON.
I don't think Silly Milly knows what On HEAT is. I am trying to show her. Person says Humping Milly won't make Baby Dogs because I have No Balls. (Baby Dogs???)
Here is Silly Milly coming through the Dog Flap - with a Ball.
And here is Silly Milly with Two Balls.
Anyway, it is Christmas soon. Perhaps I will be given a Ball for Christmas. Or Two Balls.
And then it will be Spring.
Labels: in season
Good and Bad
Silly Milly is trying to be BAD. Person says she is now at THAT AGE. Silly Milly is trying very hard to be BAD, but Person has never told her what BAD is. Person has only ever told Silly Milly what GOOD is.When Milly Jumped on the Sofa, Person told her that Jumping OFF the Sofa was GOOD.When Milly Chewed my Collar, Person told her that Giving Person my Collar was GOOD.
When Milly Dug a Big Hole in the Field, Person told her that Coming AWAY from her Big Hole was GOOD.
When Milly Jumps at the Gate, Person tells her that Getting DOWN from the Gate is GOOD.
I have been Doing my Best to help Silly Milly discover what BAD is.
Person went to see a Big German Shepherd called Major the other day. Major is Very BIG and Very STRONG. Major knows he is Very HANDSOME.
Major has Tufty Ears just like Milly.
And here are Silly Milly's Tufty Ears.
Person went to see a Golden Labrador called Bella the other day and Bella had Eight Puppies. Labrador Puppies PLAY a lot. Labrador Puppies POO a lot. Labrador Puppies WEE a lot. Labrador Puppies SLEEP a lot. Anyway, Labrador Puppies don't have Tufty Ears, and neither do I.
Tally and Lolepop and Jester are Parsons Terriers. They live with Persons' Friend Ann and they did Dash and Spash. They had to DASH along a ramp and LEAP as FAR as they could into the water. SPLASH.
Person says Dash and Splash is like Long Jump for Dogs.
Here is Jester Swimming after his SPLASH.
Anyway, I like Short Jump and Splash and Swim into the River with Monty the Mont and Marmite. Silly Milly has not been swimming in the River with us yet.
Labels: dash and splash, labrador puppies
Has anyone seen a Flying Play Tunnel heading east?
The other morning Person said what have you done with the Play Tunnel Pip? It was Windy. Our Play Tunnel had DISAPPEARED from our Field.
Anyway, here we are in Silly Milly's Crate.
A man called Mr.Baskerville came to see my Person last week. She is going to have Solar Panels up on the roof to make Hot Water. I prefer Cold Water.
Because My Person asked him to (because My Person is a Dog Behaviour Lady), Mr.Baskerville ignored Milly and she didn't Wuff and Huff at him. She wasn't scared of Mr.Baskerville.
Person said Mr.Baskerville should Understand Hounds (I'm a SIGHT Hound but I can't SEE our Play Tunnel).
Anyway, perhaps when Mr.Baskerville's Solar Panel men are on the roof making Hot Water they may be able to see my Play Tunnel a Long Long Way Away.
If some poor dogs a Long Long Way Away in Africa now have my Play Tunnel, I won't mind.
Labels: Baskerville, dog behaviour, sight hound
Rabbits
Here we all are, shut Outside last Sunday. We were shut Outside because Person's Baby Grandchildren came.There were six Big Persons and three Very Little Persons and Milly wasn't Barking. You can see that Milly was no longer scared.Silly Milly is becoming Big and Brave. Person says I am becoming Sensible. That's because I am so busy playing with Milly and Teaching her THINGS, that I don't have to look for things to do any more.When Person lets us into our Field first thing in the morning there are RABBITS there. I FLY across the Field after the Rabbits, Milly CHARGES accross the Field, Monty the Mont RUNS accross the Field and Marmite Walks.
Then we sniff and sniff and we eat Rabbit Droppings. Person calls Rabbit Droppings Croutons.
Anyway, one day I shall CATCH a Rabbit. I'm not yet quite sure what I shall DO with it.
Home Alone
Here I am with Milly in our field.
On Sunday Person came home smelling of a Weimerana called Bailey.
Bailey is very ANXIOUS when he is left Home Alone. Now Bailey is very SCARED when his Person comes back home.
When he is left Home Alone, Bailey is so ANXIOUS that he CHEWS things and sometimes WEES.
Last Thursday Bailey's Man Person came home and found a MUCH BIGGER MESS than ever before.
Bailey was hiding.
Bailey's Person walked into the kitchen and found a BIG POO.
Bailey's Person was ANGRY.
Bailey's Person walked through the house and found lots of WEES.
Bailey's Person became MORE ANGRY.
Bailey's Person went upstairs and found DOG SICK on the bedroom floor.
Cupboards were open and there was MESS EVERYWHERE.
Bailey's Person was VERY VERY ANGRY with Bailey.
Bailey was VERY VERY VERY SCARED.
Then Bailey's Person realised that a BURGLAR had been in the House.
Then Bailey's Person was so VERY VERY SORRY he had been angry with Bailey.
Bailey didn't understand 'sorry'.
So now my Person has shown Bailey's Persons how never to get angry with Bailey, and what to do instead.
She told him DOGS ARE NEVER NAUGHTY. They always have a Good Reason.
That means I can go back to digging in the field and pulling up the black stuff under the shingle that stops the weeds growing through, then.
Person is never Angry with Silly Milly. Person is not Angry with Milly, even when she pulls up the black stuff under the shingle in the garden like I showed her.
Anyway, I am never Home Alone, Monty the Mont is never Home Alone, Marmite is never Home Alone and Milly Molly is never Home Alone.
Because when Person goes out, we have each other.
Partners in Crime
It is VERY QUIET.Monty the Mont and Marmite are asleep.Person is WORRIED again.Person can't See ME. Person can't See Silly Milly. Person can't Hear us either.So Person CREEPS OUT to look through the gate into our Field to see what we are UP TO.(Person says That Pip and That Milly are always UP TO SOMETHING).Here is a picture of Milly in the Paddling Pool.
Milly LIKES SPLASHING IN WATER. (I don't like in Splashing Water).
This is Milly's Crate. It is MY Den now.
Monty the Mont is very Barky now (Person shuts him by himself when he Starts Barking). Marmite is very Playful now, until she gets cross with Milly.
Anyway, I have now decided Milly is a GOOD THING.
I am Teaching Milly LESSONS like How to Chase Birds and How to Play Tug and How to Scrunch Live Snails and How to Pull Bits Off Plants and How to Pretend to be Deaf.
I am saving teaching Milly How to Dig Holes for later.
Silly Milly
Milly Molly is just about OK when she is lying down. Milly Molly is Best when she is ASLEEP.
Milly likes playing with Marmite. But I don't like Milly playing with Marmite.
I get cross with Silly Milly, but Milly doesn't take any notice of me. Person never gets cross with Milly. Person is VERY QUIET. Person does STANDING STILL and DOING NOTHING.
Sometimes I show Milly my TEETH. Milly doesn't care.
Here is a picture of me showing my TEETH to Milly (and Monty the Mont is keeping out of it).
A man has come today to make some Concrete, and Milly is barking at the man. Milly is SCARED of him.
I try to tell Milly to STOP barking at the Concrete Man. I BARK at her. But Milly won't take any notice of me.
Persons says that one day Milly will Grow Good. One day, when Milly Grows Good, I will show her how to dig HOLES.
Milly is VERY BRAVE with Dogs and Milly is VERY SCARED with Persons. She tiddles if Persons look at her. She tiddles if Persons talk to her.
Milly tiddles if My Person bends over her.
So Person sits on the floor with Milly and she doesn't tiddle. Then Milly likes a Cuddle. Milly likes to be Brushed.
Anyway, I don't like Person giving Milly a Cuddle.
But Milly doesn't care.
Milly
Today Milly came.
Milly is a German Shepherd and Milly is Fifteen Weeks Old.
Person says Milly came from a Puppy Farm. Person gets our Raw Chicken Wings from a Turkey Farm.
Milly was kept in a Big Cage with other dogs and puppies.
Milly is Very SCARED of Persons.
But Milly isn't Scared of Me. Milly isn't Scared of Marmite. Milly isn't even Scared of Monty the Mont who told her off for jumping on him.
We have all been Chasing around our field in the Rain. SIXTEEN DIRTY FEET Person says.
Person is 'DOING NOTHING' with Milly because she says this will make Milly More Brave with Persons.
But I fear Milly might soon become a bit TOO Brave.
Milly has been here for just half a day and then ....... she Jumped Up ....at Person!
Person gave Milly 'The Turid Rugaas Hand Gesture' without looking at her. (Turid Rugaas is a Very Famous Dog Lady Person who teaches Handling Skills).
DOING NOTHING doesn't sound like Handling Skills to me. DOING NOTHING sounds more like NOT Handling Skills.
Anyway, Milly is now asleep again for a very little while.
Later I shall teach her about HOLES.
Bones and Raw Food Diet
I have a Sore Nose.
I made my nose SORE because of a BONE. A Big Raw Meaty Bone. I didn't know what to do with it so I Buried it by Digging a HOLE and pushing it and covering it up with my Nose. Then I Dug it up. Then I Buried it again somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again. Then I Buried somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again.Then Person took my Big Raw Meaty Bone away.
The other morning I thought I was going to get my FOOD. My nice Crunchy Dried Food. But Person gave me two Raw Chicken Wings instead.
Is this FOOD? Do I EAT them? HOW?
Marmite was already SCRUNCHING her Raw Chicken Wings because Marmite will Eat Anything. Monty the Mont then SCRUNCHED on his Chicken Wings.
Person cut mine Two Raw Chicken Wings into little bits. I Sniffed them.
THIS IS NOT FOOD.
Then, for tea Person gave me SLUDGE.
I Love SLUDGE. It is TASTY. Sludge is all minced up. It has Raw cabbage and cauliflower and carrots, and sometimes it has Raw Fish, and it always has Raw Meat, it sometimes has Raw Liver and it sometimes has Raw Cows Heart, and sometimes it has Fruit.
This is what my SLUDGE looks like.
And here is Marmite eating SLUDGE.
I can now Scrunch my Chicken Wings. I have Worked It Out!
Anyway, Chickens don't need their Wings because Chickens Don't need to Fly. Chickens RUN. They have to RUN in order to cross roads so they can get to the Other Side.
Person also gave us BIG RAW MEATY BONES to chew.
Marmite took her Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Field. Monty the Mont took his Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Garden.
I first took my Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Kennel to my Bed.
Person now only gives us SMALL Raw Meaty Bones, because my Big Raw Meaty Bone made my Nose BLEED.
Then, when there are only three little bits of Meaty Bone left, we all lie down together in the field and Swap Bones.
Labels: BARF diet, Raw Meaty Bones, RMB diet
Hail and Snow
Here is my Funny Face. Person says she can see Right Up My Nose.
There was HAIL today. Hard cold white balls fell out of the sky. They HURT.
Person says the Hailstones were the size of Sugar Lumps. (I don't know what Sugar Lumps are, but she says that Horses would).
A few days ago there was SNOW. Snow is fun. Snow doesn't Hurt my Head like Hail Hurts my Head. 
Monty the Mont and Marmite didn't want to Play.
My Dog Listener Person went to see a Yellow Labrador called Becky. Becky lives with Misty who is a dog called a Bichon Frise.
Becky is SCARED of Persons who come to her House. I'm not Scared of any Persons who come to my House.
Becky looks just like my dad did, though Becky is a Bitch. (I'm not allowed to call a She-Person a Bitch).
Anyway, I WAS just a little bit SCARED when Sugar Lumps were dropping out of the Sky onto my Head.Labels: bichon frise, dog listener, yellow labrador
That Pip
Person calls Monty the Mont Monty.
Person calls Marmite Marmite.
Person calls me That Pip.
What is That Pip up to. Where is That Pip. What has That Pip done now.
I have a New Bed. Monty the Mont has a New Bed and Marmite has a New Bed.
My bed is never the Bed I am actually lying on. It is either the Bed Monty the Mont is lying on, or it is the Bed Marmite is lying on.
My Person went to see Maisie yesterday. Maisie is a Chocolate Labrador and she is Twelve Weeks Old. But Maisie isn't Too Fat like Marmite.
Maisie has found out she is just big enough to jump up on the sofa.
I think Maisie's Persons will soon be calling her That Maisie.
Anyway, just now I have Two New Beds all to myself.
I Love You
Persons did something called Valentine's Day last week.
My Person did the I Love You STRETCH to me.
She got onto her knees. Then she STRETCHED her hands out towards me on the floor.
So I did one of my special STREEEEETCHES back to her, and LICKED her on the Nose.
Then Person said Ouch, I'm stuck.
Some of Person's Friends tried it with their dogs.
And nearly all Person's Friends dogs STREEETCHED right back.
One of Person's Friends dogs just looked at his Person and walked away. Another of Person's Friends dogs Humped his Person's head.Anyway, I love my Person better now she is no longer picking up the Small Sharp Scissors when she thinks I am asleep.Person has finally removed all the Black Stitches. The nurse said the Black Stitches would go all by themselves, but they didn't.My New Wound is now a New Pink SCAR.
My New Wound
I have a NEW Wound.
Nobody heard me SCREAM this time.
Monty the Mont and Marmite Cornered me behind the Bonfire and I ran into something SHARP and STICKING OUT. I kept running but my Skin stayed still.
I have SEVEN Stitches.
Person thinks that I can't CHEW my New Wound and Person thinks I can't SCRATCH my New Wound. This is because Person has bought me a Corderoy COAT.
I heard someone say Big Girls Blouse.
I Love my Corderoy Coat and I wear it all the time.
Person thinks I can't get my Nose under my Corderoy Coat to Lick my New Wound.
While I waited for the Vet to Take me Away, I talked to a Chocolate Labrador just like Marmite. I lay on my back with my legs in the air and she Kissed me.
Chocolate Labrador's Persons looked at my New Wound and said Oh Dear.
The Vet looked at my New Wound and the Vet said Oh Dear.
It was a Boring Day. I was in a Cage all morning.
When Person came to fetch me I felt ODD. I said Hello to a Spaniel, then I jumped into the car (OUCH) and went to sleep.
Anyway, I am getting my Corderoy Coat as dirty as I can now. When Person takes my Corderoy Coat to wash it, I will be able to show EVERYONE my New Wound.
Merry Christmas
Persons have this thing called Christmas. It's something to do with a Baby Person who was born Long Long Ago.Baby Person Eddie came here last week. Baby Person Eddie was born 5 Months Ago. I was born 30 Months Ago.Baby Person Eddie does CRYING when he wants something. Person gives him what he wants.If I do Crying or if Monty the Mont does Crying or if Marmite does Crying, Person doesn't give US what we want. She goes away and does something else.I love Baby Eddie Person. He Smells Interesting. 
I wonder whether the Baby Person born Long Long Ago Smelt Interesting too?Some dogs my Dog Listener Person goes to see have BIRDS living Inside their Home.A Black Dog called Charlie has a Crow living with him. Charlie's Crow flies around the House. Charlie's Crow can TALK Person-Talk.
Another Dog who lives with a Bird is Shelly. Shelly is a White German Shepherd. Shelly also lives with Chihuahua called Rosie. Shelly and Rosie have a Cockateel.
My Dog Listener Person went to see a Boxer Dog called Fred. Person went to see Fred because he did TOO MUCH BARKING.Fred has a Parrot living with him. Parrot was born Long Long Ago because she is a Very Old Bird.Parrot says BED FRED and Fred goes to his bed. Parrot says WOOF WOOF and Fred BARKS and then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.Parrot makes Car-Stopping noises and Fred BARKS then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.Parrot can make Doorbell noise. Fred runs to the door and BARKS and Parrot goes WOOF WOOF SHUT UP FRED.My Person says she's not a Parrot Listener. I think I heard Person say Sellotape and Beak.Anyway, I don't know if I can do Christmas. But I can do MERRY. It's hard to do MERRY quietly.
So have a MERRY Christmas.
Labels: boxer, christmas, dog listener, parrot, white german shepherd
Getting into a STATE
Person went to see a VERY BIG DOG this week. The VERY BIG dog's name is Turkish. Turkish is an English Mastiff. Turkish lives with Stella who is the same colour as ME!Turkish may be VERY BIG, but sometimes Turkish can be VERY SCARED.
Turkish is also very Gentle. His Persons are now letting Turkish understand that Persons are IN CHARGE. Soon Turkish won't be Scared any longer.
Person then went to see a White Border Collie called Bing.
Bing is only 9 months old. Bing was in Kennels until she was Five Months Old because nobody wanted her! Bing is DEAF and Bing is Nearly BLIND and Bing has a lovely home now.
I'm a Sight Hound so I'm not Nearly Blind. I'm a Hearing Hound too. I can Hear EVERYTHING. I can hear Hedgehogs under the bonfire in our field.
Poor Bing gets Very Confused.
Bing GETS INTO A STATE. Bing Spins and she Snaps the Air and she Barks and she Pants.
My Dog Listener Person showed Bing's He-Person how to do Calm Freeze.
So, Bing's He-Person held Bing for a Long LONG Time. He held onto Bing FIRMLY and CALMLY.
Then Bing lay down. Bing became CALM. Then Bing sighed.
A little while later Bing was quite OK and she went off to play. So now Bing's Persons know what to do when Bing GETS INTO A STATE.
It's time now for me to go out and look at my New Hole in the field. (Dog Listeners say Digging Holes is something to do with Status. Weird). I'm just Digging for MOLES.
Bing could Dig for Moles if she was with me and Marmite and Monty the Mont in our field. You don't need to SEE and you don't need to HEAR to dig up Moles. Bing could SCENT moles.
Anyway, because I'm a Hearing Hound and I can hear EVERYTHING, I shall be able to hear if He-Person comes to see what that Bloody Pip's up to.
When He-Person catches me Digging Holes, he GETS INTO A STATE too.
Labels: blind dog, deaf dog, english mastiff, white border collie
Fireworks
Yesterday I heard a BIG BANG. WOOF
Then another BIG BANG. Person looked up and said Fireworks. Then Person just went back to watching Casualty. That must be OK then.
So I went back to sleep on Person's feet.
I'm not scared of firework BANGS. Monty the Mont isn't scared of firework BANGS. Marmite isn't scared of firework BANGS.
When bright lights FIZZ and SHOOT and EXPLODE and SHOWER DOWN in the sky, I sit outside on our veranda, Monty the Mont sits outside on our veranda and Marmite sits outside on our veranda.
Sometimes Person sits outside on our veranda with us.
We watch the fireworks FIZZING and BANGING and EXPLODING and SHOWERING DOWN.
Because my Person is a Dog Listener she is helping other dogs not to be scared of BANGS and FIREWORKS. She shows Owner Persons how to behave like she does.
My Dog Listener Person says to Owner Persons Don't Fuss and Cuddle and Comfort Your Dog because it will think you are SCARED and WORRIED. Act NORMAL.
Anyway, I like Person Cuddling and Fussing me. It makes me feel IMPORTANT.
When I get to feel toooooo IMPORTANT Person does her Dog Listening on me and IGNORES me.
Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy
Eddie is a Baby Person Grandchild and Eddie is 11 weeks old.
I like Eddie's smell. Baby Persons don't have to go Outside to do their Poos. Baby Persons do Poos and Tiddles in Nappies.
Monty the Mont is getting in my way.
I can't lick Eddie's feet because Eddie is in a Travel Cot. I slept in a Dog Crate when I was a Baby Dog.
I was a Baby Dog two years ago.
When I was a Baby Dog every time I woke up Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy. Every time after I ate my food Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy. Even in the middle of every night Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy.
Person never says Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy to Eddie.
I wonder why Baby Dogs don't wear Nappies.
Anyway, Person no longer says Tiddle Tiddle to me, but she still says Good Boy sometimes, (but she didn't say Good Boy after I chewed her Driving Licence yesterday).
Puppies
Person went to Dog Listen with two puppies last week. One was another Golden Retriever. Her name is Purdy and she is 12 weeks old. 
Purdy has very SHARP TEETH.
And Leo is a Labradoodle and he is 18 weeks old.
Leo's teeth aren't quite so SHARP as Purdy's, but Leo is already Big and Strong, and Leo PULLS his Person when he is out on his lead going for Walks.
Already Purdy is learning not to nip Persons with her TEETH. Already Leo is learning not to PULL on the lead.
This is Leo. You can see Leo's He-Person's shoes too.
Person bought me and Marmite and Monty the Mont a New Toy each when she came home today from seeing a Beardie and a Collie.
Monty the Mont and Marmite are chasing me round the lawn mower trying to get MY New Toy.
Soon I shall have all Three of the New Toys.
Person says this is called DOG IN THE MANGER. I would like it in The Manger.
Anyway, Monty the Mont can NEVER catch me. Marmite can NEVER catch me.
Going to Work
Person has been to see lots and lots of dogs because she is a Dog Listener. So, Person has been Too Busy to write my Blog for me.But there is good news. Pippin has a New Home. Pippin's NEW Persons have a lot more time for Pippin, and Pippin's new He-Person even takes Pippin to Work.WORK is something Persons do. Dog Listening is my Person's Work. I would like Person to take me with her to her Work.Today if I had gone to Work with Person I would have met Bella and Bella is just ten weeks old. Bella is a Golden Retriever. Person says Bella is Very Determined. (Person sometimes says that I am Very Determined, so Very Determined must be good).In this picture Bella is THINKING.
Bella has just nipped my Person on the finger and Person SQUEELED - just like I would Squeel if Bella bit me. Person turned her back on Bella and walked away. So Bella is now THINKING.Anyway, If I went to Work with Person and Bella had nipped me, I wouldn't have Squeeled. I would have NIPPED Bella back. Then Bella would know not to nip ME again.
Pippin
Something very sad is happening about Pippin.A little while ago I told my Blog about Pippin. He is a brindled Staffie Boxer cross my Dog Listener Person went to see (I'm called Pip).
When my Dog Listener Person left Pippin's house, she whispered to her I love you and I would like to put you in my bag and take you home.I didn't know if I wanted a Brindled Staffie Cross in my Home - especially a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. I already have Monty the Mont and I have Marmite to teach I'm BOSS. (Monty the Mont doesn't agree).Anyway, Person says Brindled Staffie Cross Pippin's own Persons wouldn't let her come to my home.Now Pippin's Persons are going a LONG WAY AWAY to somewhere called the Middle East. They can't take Pippin. This is because she is half Staffie and Not Allowed in the Middle East (I'm half Saluki - would I be Allowed in the Middle East?)So Pippin needs a New Home.My Person says she LOVES Pippin, but now she says we can't have her. Person says she can't come and live here really. But I could learn to like her, so could Monty the Mont. Marmite would like her straight away.Person says she LOVES me. I hope she keeps having me living here and doesn't send me away if Half Saluki is Not Allowed in the Middle East.
Another Lurcher
My Person came home today smelling of LURCHER and that Lurcher wasn't me! It was a Bigger Lurcher and a Browner Lurcher. His name is Ted.
Ted is only 9 months old and Ted likes Digging Holes. I like Digging Holes too. You can see one of Ted's Holes in the picture.
Ted has a Girl-Person called Molly. I hope Molly writes to me in my Blog.
Person has been to see lots and lots of dogs, and I have been shut OUTSIDE. It has RAINED and RAINED. We have the garden, our kennel and our field to play in. I don't think Persons trusts me in the house any more. Not since I ate the Ten Pound Note. (While I was shut OUTSIDE last week I did manage to spread barbeque coal all over the garden).
There is Very Good News. Poppy the the Tan Greyhound has found a NEW HOME.
There is Very Sad News which made my Person cry tears. Robin who was Mary Person's Labrador and who was a Very Old Dog had to be Put to Sleep. Here is a picture of Robin with Hunny:
Anyway, I don't need to be Put to Sleep. I can go to sleep all by myself.
Brindled Staffie Cross
My Person came home today smelling of Jack Russell and Border Collie. Jack Russell is called Towser and here he is: 
Yesterday Person smelled of two Rotties and the day before she smelled of a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. That is funny, because I'm called Pip.When she left Pippin's house, my Person whispered to her I love you and I would like to put you in my bag and take you home.I don't know if I want a Brindled Staffie Cross in my Home - especially a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. I already have Monty the Mont and I have Marmite to teach I'm BOSS. (Monty the Mont doesn't agree).Anyway, Person says Brindled Staffie Cross Pippin's own Persons love her too much, so she can't come to my home.
A Home for Poppy where she is Safe and Loved
Poppy is a Greyhound. She isn't a Grey Greyhound though. Poppy is Tan. She should be called a Tanhound. Poppy looks a bit like ME.
Poppy is 5 years old.
Poppy's Persons have SPLIT UP and Poppy has NOWHERE TO LIVE. All she longs for is to be Safe and Loved. I am Safe and Loved. So is Monty the Mont and so is Marmite.
I don't like the sound of SPLITTING UP. I did have my WOUND last year though, when I pierced myself on the wire fence.
Poppy was an Irish racing dog. Before her Persons SPLIT UP, Poppy was just starting to be a Dog and not just a Racing Machine. I want to find Poppy a NEW HOME so she can be Safe and Loved just like I am.
Person came home smelling of two HUGE Great Danes on Thursday. They are called Pluto and Skye. Because Person is a Dog Listener she showed Great Danes Persons how to give Pluto and Skye Time Out by IGNORING them, and THANKING them when they Bark.
When Person left she called Pluto to her and gave him a Treat. Then she called Skye to her and gave her a Treat too.
On Friday morning Pluto and Skye's Persons said to my Dog Listener Person: "Did your treats have some sort of Tranquiliser in them? How can they have changed so dramatically – it is amazing".
Anyway, I like to be a Racing Machine. Monty the Mont and Marmite can't catch me.
And it would take a LOT more than that to Tranquilise ME.
That Bloody Pip
I was very WORRIED today. I thought Marmite was Never Coming Home. Monty the Mont thought Marmite was Never Coming Home.
He-Person and He-Person's Rellies from New Zealand took Marmite for a Hunt (Persons say Walk). Marmite is Monty the Mont's Rellie. They have the same father.
He Persons and Rellie-Persons didn't take me for a Hunt and they didn't take Monty the Mont for a Hunt. We stayed at Home with Person.
On Monday I didn't get any of Person's attention because on Monday Luke and Lovely Louise brought Elle-Baby-Person to our house. Ruth Person's Second Born and Allen came to our house too. These are She-Person's Rellies.
I was Shut behind the caging, Monty the Mont was Shut behind the caging and Marmite was Shut behind the caging.
I like the smell of Baby. But I couldn't even get to Baby Elle's feet to lick them.
So on Tuesday I thought it was time to get some ATTENTION.
He-Person called me That Bloody Pip on Tuesday. She-Person said she couldn't think What Got Into me.
But instead of ATTENTION, Person didn't SPEAK to me all evening. Person didn't LOOK at me all evening. Person IGNORED me.
Person didn't SPEAK to me all Wednesday. Person didn't LOOK at me all Wednesday. Person IGNORED me.
Person did all her Dog Listening things with me. Person did Gesture Eating with me. Person kept me BEHIND her.
Anyway, I knew Person wouldn't be able to keep it up because she loves me really. On Thursday she gave me a Big Cuddle.
Perhaps He-Person and He-Person's Rellies from New Zealand will take me for a Hunt tomorrow.
A dog that doesn't like Walks!
My Person came home from Dog Listening smelling of two Black Labradors and a Ginger CAT last Wednesday.One of the Black Labradors is called Ebony. Ebony is SCARED. Ebony doesn't like Walks. Doesn't like Walks! I LOVE Walks (really Walks are Hunts, Sniffs and Runs). Monty the Mont is a Black Labrador, but Monty isn't SCARED like Ebony when he's out on Walks.Ebony has her Tail Down and she Hangs Back. If Ebony's Person lets her off-lead, Ebony runs away and doesn't come back for a Long Time.Ebony's Person had sent Ebony away to stay with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week.Afterwards, the Dog Trainer told Ebony's Person to Hide and to Watch. The Trainer walked past with Ebony. Ebony had no lead and she walked happily beside the Dog Trainer. Ebony's Tail was Waggy and she was Smiling. Then the Dog Trainer sent Ebony away to play with two other dogs in a field. Then he called Ebony back and she came right away. Ebony's Person said Ebony looked like a Different Dog. She had never before seen Ebony looking happy on a walk, with her Tail Waggy. My Tail Is Curly and Waggy, Monty the Mont's Tail is Straight and Waggy just like Ebony's and so is Marmite's. Sadly, as SOON as Ebony was back home with her Person she was Scared again. As SOON as Ebony's Person put the lead on Ebony's tail Went Down. As SOON as Ebony's Person took Ebony's lead off, Ebony ran away again and didn't come back for a Long Time. My Person said it just shows Ebony Never Needed a Dog Trainer. My Dog Listener Person showed Ebony's Person how to behave like an Alpha Wolf, just like the Dog Trainer did. My Person won't be sending me away to live with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week. Anyway, I have learnt to play her Dog Listening Games. Monty the Mont learnt to Play Person's Dog Listening Games. (Person says Marmite is getting a bit Above Herself lately so Marmite is being IGNORED for a while).Here is a picture of Ebony, Inca and the Ginger CAT (Ebony is at the back):
Person DARE NOT take me to Dog Training
I have not been to see Linsey Trainer Person at Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) for a Long Time. Marmite hasn't been to Training for a Long Time. (Monty the Mont never goes to Training because Monty the Mont doesn't like Training).Granny Person is in Hospital. Person goes to see Granny Person Every Day to help her to eat her Dinner. I would like Person to help me to eat my Dinner. If Person helped me to eat my Dinner it would make me feel IMPORTANT. Instead, she IGNORES me when I eat my Dinner. Then she removes my bowl straight away - before Marmite can come and see if I have left anything for her.Person is visiting Granny Person and she is doing Dog Listening with lots of other Dogs. So Person now hasn't much time for Me, or for Monty the Mont or for Marmite. Person says we are Getting Above Ourselves.
So Person DARE NOT take me or Marmite to Training now. I just might JUMP UP. I just might PULL ON LEAD. Marmite just might make a PUDDLE on the Floor. A Dog Listener CANNOT have Dogs herself that Jump Up or Pull on Lead or make a Puddle on the Floor. Luke, Person's Fourth Born, came to see us with Lovely Louise and Baby Elle. 
Anyway, I'm off out to our Field now to see what Monty the Mont is Barking at.
PS. Dog Listeners CANNOT have Dogs that Bark out in the Field, either.
Trouble
I'm Not Allowed Toys in the House. We must go OUTSIDE to Play.But because Person is out Dog Listening all the time, Person says we are Getting Away With Murder.
The rug slides across the wood floor when I chase Monty the Mont and when Monty the Mont chases Marmite and when Marmite chases me to get the Toy. Then I Get Into Trouble.
On Monday Person came home smelling of Patterdale. Patterdale is called Ruby. Ruby does Vertical Take-Off. This is Ruby.
On Tuesday Person came home smelling of two Bull Mastiffs called Max and Macy.
Everyone was IGNORING Max because Max was Clamouring for Attention. Max has a Very Big Head.
Here is Macy Keeping Out of Trouble.
I don't always Keep Out of Trouble. I quite like Trouble. It's better than being IGNORED.
Anyway, I don't need to do Vertical Take-Off because I'm Tall. Monty the Mont doesn't need to do Vertical Take-Off because he's Tall also.
Marmite isn't Tall, but Marmite is too FAT to do Vertical Take-Off.
Isolated from The Pack
Person came home smelling of Italian Spinone yesterday evening. Italian Spinone didn't smell like Green Pasta though. It smelt of Big Puppy called Monty. But Monty Spinone doesn't look like Monty the Mont at all. Monty Spinone is Pale Grey. Monty the Mont is Black. Monty Spinone has Very Big Feet which means he will grow into a Very Big Dog.Person also came home smelling of Dexter who lives with Monty Spinone. Dexter is a Flatcoat Retriever and he is Black (just like Monty the Mont).Dexter once saw some Persons having a Picnic in a Field. I would love a Picnic in a Field. Dexter came back with two Ham Sandwiches. Picnic Persons were standing up and shouting.
Person Dog Listener has been to see Dexter, so when Dexter gets Too Big for his Boots he is ISOLATED from The Pack. He goes into the Kitchen All By Himself for a little while. When Monty Spinone gets Too Big for his Boots he will be ISOLATED from the Pack for a minute in the Study. Monty Spinone needs Very Big Boots because he has Very Big Feet.When I get Too Big for my Boots I am ISOLATED from The Pack in the Hall. Then I go into the Bedroom because the door doesn't shut and I eat Tissues from the Bin. I know that Person won't ISOLATE me from The Pack for long, even though she is a Dog Listener. Person Loves me really. Anyway, Person doesn't trust me in the Bedroom.Here is a Dog Sandwich- Me with Marmite and Monty the Mont.
Failing to Comply
Person had a letter from Cambridgeshire Constabulary. The letter says Person Failed to Comply with the Speed Limit. This is the SECOND time Person has Failed to Comply with the Speed Limit. Person can only Fail to Comply with the Speed Limit one more time. If she Fails to Comply with the Speed Limit MORE than one more time, then there will be No More Dog Listening.If Person did NO More Dog Listening, then Person could take me out for HUNTING, SNIFFING and MARKING instead. She could take out Monty the Mont, and Marmite too. Persons don't Go Marking and Persons don't Go Sniffing. They just do 'Walks' because they 'feel like it' because the sun is shining.Strange.
Person is Not Happy with me today. I Failed to Comply with Person's Garden Limits. When Person was out Dog Listening I made another HOLE in the fence. So now Person is now IGNORING ME for a..l o n g..t i m e.Anyway, if Person keeps on Failing to Comply with the Speed Limit, Person can't go out Dog Listening any more and I shall not make HOLES in the fence any more.I am trying to have a Very SORRY and COMPLIANT Look on my Face.
Here is Noola with Dizzy. Dizzy has a Very RESIGNED Look on her Face. Perhaps Noola is Failing to Comply with Dizzy's Patience Limits.
Here is George who Person did Dog Listening with yesterday.
George has a Very SMUG Look on his Face because George is Failing to Comply with Person's Dog Listening Limits.
George is now sitting in Person's chair. Person gently pushed George away all evening and Ignored him.
But then Person stood up.
Jumping Jack Russell
Yesterday my Person came home smelling of a Jack Russell called Champ. Poor Champ Jumps Up in the Air to catch flies, or Runs round and round in circles, even when there are no flies. He just Can't Stop himself from Jumping Up in the Air and Running round and round in circles. Person called Champ Come and Person gave him one of her Special Dog Listening Treats. Then Champ started Jumping Up in the Air again.Here is a picture of Champ trying to catch a fly.
Champ's Person now understands how to help Champ. Soon he will be able to Lie About and Chill.I am now Lying About and Chilling on the door mat in the sun, with Monty the Mont and with Marmite.Person keeps her Special Dog Listening Treats in a plastic tub in her Dog Listening bag.Yesterday Person left her Dog Listening bag on the floor. I could smell Special Dog Listening Treats through the plastic tub.Anyway, Person found another plastic tub and some more Special dog Listening treats.
Labels: air snapping, jack russell
Not to say NO to your dog
Person is trying Something New when she goes out Dog Listening. She is saying, TRY NOT TO SAY 'NO' to your Dog for Two Whole Weeks.
Person never says 'NO' to me, nor to Monty the Mont nor to Marmite. She does sometimes make a warning noise though, uh-uh, or she may give me a Loooong Look.(He-Person often shouts 'NO' at us though, especially when he is watching Sport on TV and we're trying to Play).Sasha the Rottie Puppy's Persons are going to TRY NOT TO SAY NO to Sasha. They could call Sasha Come instead and they will say Good Girl if she comes away from the NO thing. Sasha's Persons may gently lead Sasha away from the No thing. But if Sasha won't then come away from the NO thing she will be put somewhere All By Herself for a little while.Person came home smelling of Chocolate Labrador yesterday. Lola is Chocolate Labrador mixed with something else and she is six months old. Lola has three Child Persons to Play with. I would like to play with Lola. But Lola would never be able to catch me. I am a Streamlined Racing Hound. Lola's Persons are going to TRY NOT TO SAY 'NO' to Lola, but to call Lola Come instead. They will say Good Girl if she comes away from the No thing. If Lola doesn't come away from the No thing she will be put somewhere All By Herself for a little while.
Anyway, here I am, a Streamlined Sleeping Hound.
Labels: chocolate labrador, rottweiller
Rottie Puppy
This morning Person said to He-Person Your mobile isn't in the Field. What she really meant was Pip didn't take your mobile, see?Love Me Tender Love Me True was coming from He-Person's mobile - from Upstairs. (Upstairs is where He-Person was shouting BLOODY REF at the TV yesterday while She-Person was out Dog Listening).Person came home smelling Very Interesting Indeed. She smelt of Puppy. A Rottweiller Puppy called Sasha. I sniffed Person's Shoe Lace for a Long Time because it smelt of Rottie Puppy Chewing.Sasha has Two SPOTS. they are little Brown Spots, one over each of her Eyes.Sasha does three things mostly. She sleeps, she plays, and she Grabs Trouser Legs. Sometimes she makes Little Holes in the trousers. Sometimes she Grabs Person Skin too. When Sasha is asleep she looks like a Little Angel. When Sasha is Awake she is sometimes like a Little Devil.Now Sasha's Persons are IGNORING her when Sasha is Naughty. Sometimes they put her OUT All By Herself. Sometimes they WALK RIGHT OUT and leave Sasha All Alone. Sasha doesn't like being All Alone, though she may Pretend she doesn't mind. Soon Sasha will Stop Grabbing Trouser Legs. Soon Sasha will be a Very Happy Rottie Puppy. Soon Sasha's Persons will be Very Happy Persons and soon Sasha's Boy-Person James will be able to Play with Sasha again.Anyway, if Sasha saw He-Person's mobile she would have taken it away to Chew, like I chewed the Remote Control once. But that is because she is only a Puppy. 
Mobile Phone
He-Person has lost his Mobile Phone. He-Person says he left his Mobile Phone on the chair. She-Person was out Dog Listening again. He-Person was watching Sport on TV and he was doing a lot of shouting BLOODY REF. When He-Person watches Sport on TV he does NOT Watch me. He does NOT watch Monty the Mont and he does NOT watch Marmite.When She-Person came home I heard her saying I don't suppose it's OUTSIDE in the field. Tomorrow morning when it's light Persons will look to see if He-Person's Mobile Phone is in our field. I shall be Very Quiet and Very Good tomorrow morning. (I always get the blame - like I did with the Remote Control).Anyway, Person saw another SPOTTY Dog today. But this SPOTTY Dog was ENORMOUS. Lots and LOTS of BLACK SPOTS and a Very Big SAD Face. He is called Tarquin. Tarquin's SPOTS are SO BIG they run into other SPOTS. He is the BIGGEST SPOTTY DOG that Person has Ever Seen.
I still have never seen a SPOTTY Dog. Only Spotty Persons. The ENORMOUS SPOTTY Dog was called Tarquin. Here he is:
Labels: great dane, rottweiller, spotty dog
Cadbury
My Person went to see a Chocolate Labrador today. He is called Cadbury. At first Person Ignored Cadbury because she is a Dog Listener. Then she taught him to Walk Nicely next to her. He had never Walked Nicely next to a Person before.I don't Always Walk Nicely next to Person. So she STOPS. Then she Changes Direction. Marmite doesn't always walk Nicely next to Person. Monty the Mont doesn't always Walk Nicely next to Person either. Monty likes to LUNGE at the telegraph pole. Cadbury is smaller than Marmite. And THINNER.My Person went to a Wedding yesterday. Neighbour-From-Heaven's First-Born called Vicky was Getting Married.Getting Married is something Persons do. They are meant to Get Married and Live Happily Ever After, then they can make Baby Persons.Ole is a Daddy but he didn't get Married before helping to make Baby Dogs. Anyway, I can't help to make Baby Dogs because I have had The Operation. Can I still get to Live Happily Ever After though?Here is a picture of Cadbury with Dollar who is a Jack Russell.
Labels: chocolate labrador, dog listener, ignore
Spots
Yesterday Person was being a Dog Listener and she went to see a Dog with SPOTS all over him. He was called Oscar.
I wish Person had taken me with her to see Oscar. I have never seen a dog with SPOTS before. They were Black SPOTS.
I don't have any SPOTS, nor does Monty the Mont and nor does Marmite. (I have seen Persons with SPOTS though, but they were Red Spots, not BIG BLACK SPOTS like Oscar's).
Here is a picture of Oscar. My Person was giving him a Treat.
Person didn't give me a Treat when she got home from seeing Oscar though. She just Ignored me instead.
Later, she did give me a little bit of Sausage, and Monty the Mont and Marmite.
I have another picture to show you. It is Noola, Dizzy's new puppy. Noola and Dizzy's Persons are Dog Listeners too, so they Ignore Dizzy and Noola when they come home, just like Person Ignores me.
Anyway, perhaps Dizzy and Noola are given a little bit of Sausage later.
Labels: dalmation, dog listener
Springer Spaniel
My Person Dig Dog Listening with a Spaniel today. It was a Springer Spaniel. She is called Zebedee because she is Springy. Zebedee is Ten Months Old.And here is a picture of Zebedee being IGNORED. 
Labels: ignore, springer spaniel
Great Danes
My Person went to see two Great Danes yesterday. Ziggy and Maddie had had a fight and Ziggy had Two Wounds. Ziggie and Maddie's Person had a Big Wound on her arm when she stopped them Fighting. Great Danes are VERY BIG DOGS.When my Dog Listener Person first goes in people's houses, she IGNORES their dogs. So she IGNORED the Great Danes.My Person often Ignores me as well. I know that if I stay quiet for a little while she will then be nice to me.It is very difficult to IGNORE Great Danes. Ziggy's nose touched Persons nose. Person tried not to laugh. She would not look at Ziggy though. SUDDENLY Ziggy made a loud WOOF, right in her face.Person says that Ziggy was soooo BIG I could stand up underneath him.Anyway, I wouldn't have been scared of Ziggy. Marmite wouldn't have been scared of Ziggy. I think Monty the Mont might be a little bit On The Defensive if he met Ziggy.Here is a picture of Maddie in her bed.
It is the Biggest dog bed there is.Labels: dog listener, great dane, woof
Puppies to Play With
My friend Ole is a Daddy. He doesn't live with the Mummy though. He just VISITED her. She is a Patterdale like Ole.My Person says Fathers should Take Responsibility for their Children. Perhaps Ole should have ALL the puppies living with him so that he can Take Responsibility for his Children.Ole's Persons are going to allow Ole to Take Responsibility for just one puppy.Here is a picture
AND, my new friend Dizzy's Persons have given Dizzy a new puppy to play with.I would Love a new puppy to play with.I can't be a Daddy. I had The Operation.Person's fourth born Luke is a Daddy and he lives with Lovely Louise and they have a Baby Girl. (I am not allowed to call her a Bitch).Marmite has had The Operation as well because Monty the Mont is her Half Brother and if they had Puppies it's called In-Breeding. (Wolves don't do In-Breeding because only the Alpha Pair make babies. Then they Take Responsibility for their Children).
Anyway, if She-Person gave me a puppy to play with I could show it all the holes I dug under the fence when I was little but which I'm too big to get through any more...
Labels: alpha wolf, Patteredale, puppy
Very Nasty Accident
When Person was OUT doing Dog Listening, I nearly had a Very Nasty Accident.It was fortunate that He-Person was here. I was playing my game of Pretending to Kill Monty the Mont in our field, when I caught my bottom teeth under Monty's collar. I was TRAPPED. It HURT. I SCREEEEEEAMED. Monty PANICKED and PULLED.He-Person heard me Screeeeaming. Monty the Mont was running around the field and I had to run around the field as well because I was joined to him by my bottom teeth. He-Person Chased us. Monty the Mont ran, pulling me along by my mouth. He-Person was running SHOUTING stop stop STOP.I was SCREEEEEAMING so Loudly that Marmite was BARKING and Jumping and Crying too.At last He-Person unclipped Monty's collar. (This took a long time because the collar was very Tight with my jaw inside the collar as well as Monty the Mont's neck).FREE
If He-Person had not been here to unclip Monty the Mont's collar, I might still be joined to Monty's neck by my mouth. Then I would either STARVE or DIE of Thirst.He-Person Saved my Life.So, Dog Listening isn't always good for dogs. It's not good for me if I nearly have a Very Nasty Accident with Monty the Mont while she's away Dog Listening with other dogs.Anyway, here is a picture of Marmite's feet.
Getting Naughty
My Person has been out a lot doing Dog Listening.She says I am getting NAUGHTY. Yesterday she called us all IN from our field. Marmite is Slowest but she came IN first. Monty the Mont wanted to come in but I didn't let him. I stood in front of him and I ATTACKED him. I grabbed the fur on his neck.Then I let Monty the Mont go in. Later, when I felt like going in it was Too Late. Person had shut me out in the field by myself.
So Person says she is going to BLITZ me with Dog Listening for a couple of days. I am waiting for my tea. I have tried asking but Person is ignoring me. I am now lying down patiently, not looking at her. That will Do The Trick.I knew it would. I was a Good Boy at Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) today. Marmite was a Good Girl at Training. Monty the Mont stayed in the car because he doesn't like Training. He is On the Defensive. He doesn't like being with lots of dogs in a small place because he can't run away if he's scared.I am Never scared at Training. I just stay close to Person when the Big Black German Shepherd that Growls looks at me. Marmite used to be a little bit Scared to start with. She then made a Puddle on the floor like she did at the Vet's. Linsey Person was never cross with her. Linsey Person is a very Kind Trainer.Anyway, Person is going to try taking Monty the Mont back to Training soon. She says now he has been thoroughly Dog Listened that he will trust her to look after him. Then Monty the Mont won't have to worry about the other dogs. He won't have to be On the Defensive.Person likes going to Training because she likes TALKING to other Persons. It's for herself really. Not for me, not for Marmite and certainly not for Monty the Mont.Labels: Dog listening, dog training, German Shepherd
Responsibilities of Dog Ownership
Someone called Dr.Besser says in the newspaper I would like to see Mandatory Classes for Expectant Dog Owners to teach them about the Responsibilities of Dog Ownership.Expectant Dog Owners? I thought Bitches did the Expecting not Owners.It's raining today. Monty the Mont, Marmite and I have Twelve feet altogether to make Muddy Footprints on the floor. So the gate to our field is shut. Boring. The only thing we can do is sleep under Person's desk.The Responsibilities of Dog Ownership could mean Persons must not shut gates and stop dogs from going into fields whenever they want. The Responsibilities of Dog Ownership could mean that all Dog Owners must call out a Dog Listener so they could learn to play that 'I'm an Alpha Wolf game' like Person plays with us.My Person who is a Dog Listener would be Very Busy. She would Go Out even more than she does now. Because she's Out all the time, she won't be able to do Responsibilities of Dog Ownership properly with me, or with Monty the Mont or with Marmite, because we are left at home. I am very sad because Tobi who writes in my Blog and who lives in Costa Rica has gone. He says he is now Angel Tobi. I'm not too sure about Heaven and Hell. I quite like it here, under Person's desk with Monty the Mont and Marmite.Did the Angels in Heaven have to take Mandatory Classes about the Responsibilities of Dog Ownership before getting Tobi?Anyway, I don't suppose the Elyssian Fields get Muddy.
At the Vet's
Monty the Mont and Marmite both went to the vet's yesterday for their injections.If you are one of my Person's Dog Listener friends and you are reading my Blog today, I shall tell you what REALLY HAPPENED at the vet's.Marmite pulled and jumped. Then she made a PUDDLE on the vet's floor. I never make Puddles on floors.I hope none of Person's Dog Listener friends saw what Monty the Mont did! While He-Person sat with Monty the Mont, a Boxer dog came in to the vet's waiting room. The Boxer dog looked at Monty the Mont. Monty the Mont looked at the Boxer dog. Both dogs Pulled to get to each other and made Excited noises.And He-Person forgot ALL the Dog Listener stuff Person had told him about. He didn't walk calmly outside with Monty the Mont. He didn't distract him calmly like Dog Listeners do. He-Person did lots of Commands. DOWN MONTY, DOWN, LEAVE IT, LEAVE IT, LEAVE IT, SIT, LEAVE IT...Oh dear. Dog Listener's dogs don't Pull. Dog Listener's dogs don't get Excited by other dogs. Dog Listener's dogs certainly don't make PUDDLES on vet's floors.Anyway, I just stayed in the car.
Labels: boxer, vet
Wild Predators
My Person says that, from behind, I look like Something Else.
A Sad Elephant, or maybe an Aardvark.
This is because I have two Whorls, one each side of my Tail. They look like EYES.
Monty the Mont doesn't have two Whorls that look like EYES, and nor does Marmite have two Whorls that look like EYES.
Perhaps I have two Whorls that look like Eyes so that Wild Predators are too AFRAID to Attack me From Behind.
I hope Wild Predators don't Attack Marmite from Behind because she would have to Run and Marmite is Slow. I'm not Slow. I'm FAST.
If Wild Predators Attacked Monty the Mont from Behind just a little bit, it could Teach him a Lesson.
It would prove to Monty the Mont that I am Winner of the 'Who's Top Dog' game if Wild Predators are too AFRAID to Attack me, but Wild Predators are not too AFRAID to attack Monty the Mont.
Anyway, I don't think we have Wild Predators in our field. We do have Moles though.
The Boss
My Person keeps going out and leaving us All Alone. This is since she has been doing Dog Listening. Each time Person comes back she Smells of a Different Dog.Yesterday she came back smelling of Jack Russell. Jack Russell Worries. He Panics. He thinks it's his Job to Look After his Persons all the time so he BARKS AND BARKS AND BARKS. Jack Russell Charges About. He tries to Attack cars.
Jack Russell goes Frantic when a Visitor comes. When my Person came he jumped right up as high as her face, then he charged all over the chairs, then he climbed up her leg, then he ran around the room BARKING and his Persons couldn't catch him. My Person said to Jack Russell's Persons please put his collar on.
Then she said we will now put a lead on him. Then they could catch him. They shut him in the kitchen. When he came out he started again. Back into the kitchen. Then he came out and started again. Back into the kitchen. Soon it was a bit longer before he started again. Back in the kitchen. All the time nobody looked at Jack Russell and nobody spoke to him.
Persons just carried on talking to each other.
After about one hour Jack Russell lay down and then he gave a big Sigh and went to Sleep.
Already Jack Russell is learning that he is not The Boss. Being the Boss is a Big Job. Too Big for Jack Russell. Being The Boss is his Person's Big Job.
In our Pack Monty the Mont thinks he's The Boss of the Dogs. But Monty the Mont can't make me think he's The Boss of the Dogs. Monty the Mont sometimes Tests Person to see if Person really is The Boss. He pushes past her and knocks into her when she's taking us OUTSIDE to feed us.
Person Stops. She gives Monty the Mont one of her Loooong Looooooks. So Monty the Mont turns around and tucks in behind her.
Anyway, here is a picture of Monty the Mont showing Marmite that he's The Boss of the Dogs.
Labels: alpha wolf, dog listener, jack russell
Falling Over
I had Writers Block yesterday. I haven't got Writers Block any more because I have something to Write About. Person gave me a Big Stuffed Bone today. She also gave Monty the Mont a Big Stuffed Bone and she gave Marmite a Big Stuffed Bone.Person gave us Big Stuffed Bones because we had to stay OUTSIDE for Four Whole Hours. We had to stay OUTSIDE because Granny and Granny's Sister came to our house. Granny is 94 Years of Age and Granny's Sister is 91. That is thirteen Years of Age in Dog Years.I wonder whether I shall live to be thirteen Years of Age. I had to stay OUTSIDE, Monty the Mont had to Stay OUTSIDE and Marmite had to Stay OUTSIDE. This is not because we might Jump Up. (After Person started playing her Dog Listening games with us we have stopped Jumping Up - nearly). We had to stay OUTSIDE because Granny might Fall Over. Granny's Sister might Fall Over too. They might even Fall Over if we just Walk Past them!It would be more sensible if Granny had four legs and Granny's Sister had four legs. Then Granny and Granny's Sister would not be so very Wobbly.Anyway, if Granny and Granny's Sister had four legs then Person would not have given us Big Stuffed Bones to quarrel over OUTSIDE.Tomorrow my Person is going to visit a Boxer who Pulls so hard on his lead that sometimes his Person Falls Over! I expect Boxer will get some of my Person's Stop Start Change Direction games.Here are Monty the Mont and Marmite in the Outside kennel with what's left of one of our Big Bones.
Labels: boxer, walk
Snow and Bryony the Grey Greyhound
Person opened the door this morning to let us out, and everything was WHITE.
I love Playing in the Snow. So does Monty the Mont and so does Marmite.
Marmite Eats Snow. When Marmite is in the Snow she nearly has no legs. This is because the Snow is Deep and Marmite's legs are Short.
We had Very Very Good News yesterday. Jenny Dog Listener has taken Grey Greyhound Bryony from the Rescue Kennels to live with her For EVER.
Jenny Dog Listener took Grey Geryhound Bryony to her home to meet her other Greyhound called Bruce. She took Briony just for one weekend to see how they all got on, and then she took Briony back to the Kennels until later. That was because Jenny Dog Listener goes Out to Work. She wanted to be at home when Bryony started living with her and with Bruce For EVER.
But when Grey Greyhound Bryony went back to Rescue Kennels she Cried and she Howled all night. She wanted to be back with Bruce. So Jenny Dog Listener picked Bryony up the very next day and took her home to live with Bruce For EVER.
So now Bryony is a Very Lucky Dog and she's a Very Happy Dog. She will now be a Very Warm Dog. Because she now lives with a Dog Listener she will be a Very Well Understood Dog. And Bryony won't have to stand outside in the Snow all by herself. She can Play in the Snow with Bruce. (If you click 'Bryony' under the picture of me and Monty the Mont in the Snow, you will see about Bryony).
Anyway, it's now time to go Outside to Play in the Snow again. I will need to wake Monty the Mont and make him come out to Play with me. Marmite is too tired.
Labels: Bryony, dog listener, greyhound
Tongues
My Person visited two Chow Chows yesterday. Chow Chows have Black Tongues.I have a Pink Tongue, Monty the Mont has a Pink Tongue and so does Marmite.I use my Tongue to lick between Person's Toes.
Person visited two Labradors today. One was the same colour as me and the other was the same colour as Monty the Mont. Person says she would like to have brought them home with her.
I would have liked that and so would Marmite. I don't know about Monty the Mont.
Anyway, there isn't room under Person's desk for any more Labradors.
Labels: chocolate labrador, Chow chow
Terrified Terrier
Do you remember I told you about Terrified Terrier? Terrified Terrier was frightened of Rain. He was frightened of Wind. He was frightened of Noises on TV. He was frightened of Noises in the night. He was frightened even of Soft Noises. In his Panic Terrified Terrier tried to Climb walls, he tried to Climb curtains and he tried to Climb doors. Terrified Terrier Screamed and he Panted. At night his Persons had to shut him in a Crate for his safety. Terrified Terrier would make his feet and mouth bleed trying to Escape.Just Two Days after my Person went to see Terrified Terrier and explained to his Persons how to be Alpha Wolves for him, Terrified Terrier just stopped being Terrified. Now he is taking no notice of Noises any more. He is chilling out in front of the TV. He is no Longer a Terrified Terrier.I wonder what Terrified feels like? Marmite doesn't understand Terrified either. Monty the Mont will remember feeling Terrified as a Puppy, when Magic our German Shepherd nearly Killed him. That was before Magic and Monty the Mont became best friends.Monty the Monty still feels a little bit Terrified if he is left All Alone. Anyway, Monty the Mont isn't left All Alone much, because he has me and he has Marmite.Sarah Bear who is Person's First born has gone Skiing. This means Sarah Bear is sliding down a Snowy Mountain trying not to Fall Over. There are Lots and Lots of Persons sliding down the Snowy Mountain with her trying not to Fall Over or to Crash Into each other. Strange.My steps into the Field were white and slippery this morning and I almost Slid Down them. Here is Marmite at the top of the Slippery Steps.
Labels: terrier
Baby
My Person has been Neglecting me and she's been Neglecting Monty the Mont and she has been Neglecting Marmite.Person has just had something called a Grand Child.A Human Baby is a very Tiny Person that Cries a lot. Person came home Smelling of a very nice Smell. Human Baby. Lovely Louise and Luke have a Girl Baby (only a Girl Dog is called a bitch) and her name is Elle.Tomorrow Person is going to see Max again. Max is the dog that can't stop going Round and Round and Round. Person has been speaking to other Dog Listeners and she knows what to DO now. If Max's Persons can DO this Thing with Max, then he may be Saved.When Max was a baby his Mother, who was a bitch, must have loved him too.
Deaf?
Person took me Down the Track for a Walk yesterday all by myself. (She was messing about Changing Direction and all that. Still, I just went along with it).Person Let me OFF LEAD and I Ran and Ran, I Jumped down the Bank, and I sniffed in Badger Holes. When Person Called me a Came Back to her Straight Away.Person took Monty the Mont for a Walk yesterday all by himself. Monty the Mont had to Change Direction more than I did because he was TOO EAGER to get to the Track and he Pulled.Person let Monty the Mont OFF LEAD and he Ran ahead, then he Ran back to Person, then he Ran ahead, then he Ran back to Person. He kept Stopping to Sniff and to Mark the Spot.When Person Called him Monty the Mont Came Back to her Straight Away.Person took Marmite for a Walk yesterday all by herself. Marmite didn't Pull much. She just Waddled along.Person let Marmite OFF LEAD and she didn't Waddle. She RAN. She Ran ahead. She had her Nose to the Ground and she kept going. (Marmite was Following the Scent of the Staffie I had met on my Walk earlier).When Person called M A R M I T E, Marmite didn't Come. Marmite was disappearing into the distance, Sniffing. Person thought OK then and she turned around and started to go back home. She looked over her shoulder but Marmite had disappeared.Person then did something she tells other people not to do. She turned around and went after Marmite. Person could see Marmite in the distance, wandering back. Marmite had thought she had better see where Person had got to.
So Person Waited.When Marmite got back to her Person said are you Deaf,Marmite?When Person and Marmite got back Home, Person said to He-Person I think Marmite is Deaf. He-Person said Rubbish.Marmite liked eating snow the other day.
Labels: off lead, pulling, walk
Pretending
Buster, the Boxer has stopped his Horrible Habit! Buster's Person is starting to love him now. She is not going to Give Buster Away any more.My Person would never Give ME Away, she would never Give Marmite Away and she would never Give Monty the Mont Away. None of us do the Horrible Habit. YUK
Person's dog Listening showed Buster's Person how to be Calm when he had done his Horrible Habit. To PRETEND to take no notice. Buster likes being Shouted At and Scolded when he's Bored. It is lots of Attention. Lots of Attention is Fun.
Buster now knows there is no point in doing his Horrible Habit because his Person doesn't take any notice of it any more. And she gives him Lots of Attention when he does NOT do his Horrible Habit.Anyway, I am a Lucky Dog because I never get Bored. I have Monty the Mont to Scrap with. Marmite can't be bothered with Scrapping. Marmite doesn't want to play the 'Who's the Top Dog?' game. If we ever do get a bit Bored we Dig Holes in the Field. Digging Holes in the Field is Fun.Here is another picture of me Scrapping with Monty the Mont. We are only PRETENDING. I would not want to really Hurt Monty the Mont and Monty would never want to really Hurt me.
Labels: boxer, Dog listening
Tail Chasing
Yesterday Person came home smelling of a German Shepherd. I could smell that he was a very Mixed Up German Shepherd.
His name is Max.
Max has a Habit that he Can't Stop. He does this Habit nearly all the time.
You know when Max is going to start his Habit. He Sniffs his Tail. Then he starts going Round and Round and Round and Round in Circles, Chasing his Tail. Chewing his Tail. He has very little hair on his Tail now.
Max goes Round and Round and Round whenever there is any Noise. Max goes Round and Round and Round whenever Persons talk a little loudly. Max goes Round and Round and Round whenever he's off lead out on a Walk. Sometimes Max goes Round and Round and Round for no reason at all.
This is driving his Persons MAD.
Sometimes I go Round and Round and Chase my Tail. This is when I can't get Monty the Mont or Marmite to Chase me in the Field.
Poor Max lived in Rescue Kennels for 6 months and he's only one year old. Person says Max Can't Cope yet with being part of a pack, so she is teaching Max's Persons Dog Listening so that they can Help him. Max's Persons will try not to shout STOP any more when he goes Round and Round and Round. Each time he goes Round and Round they will say nothing at all. They will hold him gently for a minute, or when he goes Round and Round they will call him to them and speak kindly to him. They will keep him Calm.
Max is a Lucky Dog now because he has Persons who Love him. His Persons are learning how to show Max that they are the Alpha Wolves. They will make all the Decisions. They will look after him. Max need not Worry any more.
Soon Max will Stop going Round and Round and Chasing and Chewing his Tail.
When I went OUTSIDE yesterday morning it was SNOWING! Here I am trying to make Monty the Month Chase me.
Labels: chasing tail, Dog listening, German Shepherd, rescue dog, Rescue kennels, tail
Cats and Dogs
Persons who have Dogs Live for Loooooonger than Persons who have Cats.
That's True. They said so on The News.
I know why this is. Persons with Cats can Sit About all day because when Cats want to go OUTSIDE they just go out through a Cat Flap.
Persons with Dogs can't Sit About all day. They have to GET UP out of their chairs when Dogs want to go OUTSIDE because most dogs don't have a Cat Flap.
So every time I want to go OUTSIDE it is helping Person to Live Longer. Every time Monty the Mont wants to go OUTSIDE it is helping Person to Live Longer. Every time Marmite wants to go OUTSIDE it is helping Person to Live Longer.
Sometimes I think Person doesn't want to Live for a Long Long time. Person no longer lets us OUT every time we ask to go OUTSIDE. She doesn't let us IN every time we ask to come INSIDE. One evening before she started Dog Listening, Person GOT UP out of her chair to open the Door TWENTY SEVEN TIMES.
So Dog Listening and Understanding Dogs may be making Person's Life Shorter.
It's nice to know that each time we get Person out of her chair it will help her to Live for Longer
.
I wonder whether Persons have tried Understanding Cats? Are there any Cat Listeners? I think Persons may not so easily win the 'Who's the Alpha Lion?' game with a Cat!
Anyway, I shall keep chasing Cats. It will help ME to Live for Longer.
Monty the Mont still thinks he is TOP DOG. I want to be TOP DOG now. We are always Scrapping to see who can WIN the 'Who's the Top Dog?' game. Person has to GET UP to send us OUTSIDE whenever we are Scrapping in the house, so my Scrapping with Monty the Mont helps Person Live for Longer.
Labels: cats, Dog listening, dogs
Little Dogs
Person has been doing Dog Listening with some Little Dogs.On Friday she saw a Jack Russell who lives with another little Terrier. Little Terrier is a Very Frightened Little Dog. He is Frightened by lots of things. He tries to Climb the Walls and Curtains when he is Frightened, he Cries and he Shakes and he Foams at the Mouth.His Persons are learning to Understand Dogs and to help little Terrier.
Then yesterday Person went to see two little Westies and a very little Powder Puff. Powder Puff is a dog really. One of the Westies tried to Nip my Person when she went in their gate! These three little dogs have a Big Responsibility. They think they have to Guard the House all by themselves. They think they have to Guard the Garden all by themselves. They think they have to Guard their Persons all by themselves.Their Persons always do just what the Two Westies tell them to do. The Two Westies do just what the Powder Puff tells them to do. Powder Puff thinks she is the Queen.Not for much longer!Today Person is going to see another Little Dog. He is a Terrier too. I hope he doesn't nip Person when she goes in the gate.My Person NEVER does what I tell her to do. Person never does what Marmite tells her to do. Person never does what Monty the Mont tells her to do. (
Sometimes Monty the Mont tries to tell Person do what to do. Monty the Mont likes to Leap About and to Get in Front and Control Person. She is having none of that!)
Anyway, I might have some Very Good News soon. Another Dog Listener Person is going to see Briony. Bryony is the Grey Greyhound in the Rescue Kennels that I told you about a while ago. I was born in the Rescue Kennels. If the Dog Listener adopts Bryony she will have another Greyhound to live with, and a Person who Understands Dogs, and she will be a Very Very Lucky Dog just like me.Here is a picture of me and here is a picture of Briony.
Labels: Bryony, dog listener, greyhound, jack russell, terrier, Westie
Power Cut
We had a Power Cut today. It was because of the Wind.
Another Very Windy Day. Person says we go SILLY when it's Windy
Person couldn't make the house LIGHT. So, when the sun went down which made it Dark and Cold, we all went to bed. (Well....Sofa).
Person came home very late yesterday and she smelt of German Shepherd.
The German Shepherd is called Bailey. He is only one year old.
Bailey has only lived with his new Persons for two weeks. Bailey's Persons have had lots of German Shepherds so Bailey is a Very Lucky Dog to have been saved by his new Persons.
Because in his old home Bailey was left alone for Hours and Hours every day, Bailey hasn't learnt How to be a Member of a Pack. I wouldn't like to be left alone for Hours and Hours. Marmite wouldn't like to be left alone for Hours and Hours and Monty the Mont wouldn't like to be left alone at all.
So Bailey is trying Very Very hard to DO HIS JOB. He thinks his Job is to make Decisions, to decide who comes INTO his house, to decide who goes OUT of his house, to control doorways, to control Walks, to attack Traffic, to protect everybody and to be in control of their other Shepherd, Millie. In fact Bailey thinks it's his JOB and his RESPONSIBILITY to have the POWER to be in charge of EVERYTHING.
Bailey is already a very Lucky Dog because his Persons love him so much they are now learning Dog Listening to show Bailey that they are the Alpha Wolves....and not Bailey.
Bailey is having a Power Cut.
Soon Bailey can relax and just be a Happy Dog.
Anyway, here is a picture of the Power Cut.
Labels: Dog listening, German Shepherd
Dog Listeners don't get Cross
It's not very nice weather for Dogs. Rain Rain Rain. It's nice weather for Ducks. Monty the Mont picked up a dead pigeon yesterday. He brought it back to He-Person because he's a Labrador Retriever. The Pigeon had its head missing. I think Monty the Mont ate it.Chloe's Person wipes Chloe's feet before she can go into her house. My Person would have TWELVE feet to wipe so she Mops the Floor instead.Person has been talking to the lady with Buster the Boxer who has the Horrible Habit. Buster is going to the vet tomorrow for Tests to see if he has Something Wrong with him. Buster's Person wants to GET RID of Buster now. Poor Buster.My Person will never Get Rid of me, she will never Get Rid of Monty the Mont and she will never Get Rid of Marmite. She Loves us. But then, we don't have the Horrible Habit.Person is getting Cross with me and she's getting Cross with Monty the Mont and Cross with Marmite today. I try to remind her that Dog Listeners DON'T GET CROSS. Dog Listeners KEEP CALM. Person is getting Cross with us because we are SCRAPPING Indoors. Person keeps sending us OUTSIDE, go and do that outside. Then we come back in again with Dirty Feet. Then Person must Mop the Floor. Then we start SCRAPPING again.Anyway, we don't like SCRAPPING in the Rain so we're SCRAPPING in the Kennel instead.
Labels: dog listener, rain
Dopey Tablets
Person took us each for a Stop Start Change Direction walk yesterday, and do you know who was best?Monty the Mont! Perhaps it won't be long before Monty the Mont lets Person win the 'Who's the Alpha Wolf' game.Person came home today smelling of Jack Russell.Person came home today feeling sad. When she went in the house Jack Russell had a Muzzle over his nose and mouth. He had a Muzzle so he couldn't Bite.Jack Russell had a chain lead on his collar. He had a chain lead so his Person could grab hold of him. And poor Jack Russell was Dopey because he was Drugged. He was Drugged to Keep Him Quiet.Jack Russell's Person said Jack Russell may have to be PUT DOWN. Put Down? I don't like being PICKED UP. I like to Stand and to Walk and I like to Run. My Person finds me heavy to pick up so she doesn't have to PUT ME DOWN. She can't pick up Monty the Mont and she can't pick up Marmite at all. But Jack Russell is small and light.
Person IGNORED Jack Russell just like she IGNORES me. Soon he came and lay down next to her. Person asked for his Lead and Muzzle to be removed. Jack Russell came back to lie down next to her and she still IGNORED him. He was Very Dopey.Jack Russell is going to stop having Dopey Tablets. His Person is going to try Dog Listening instead.I don't Bite and I don't need a Muzzle. Monty the Mont doesn't bite and doesn't need a Muzzle. Marmite doesn't bite either and she doesn't need a Muzzle.Anyway, I would need a lot of Dopey Tablet to make me dopey. So would Monty the Mont. Marmite wouldn't need quite so much Dopey Tablet to make her dopey because she is a little bit dopey already.Here is Marmite under Person's desk trying to eat the bookmark hanging down from Person's diary.
She couldn't do that if she had a Muzzle.Labels: Biting, dog listener, Dog listening, jack russell
Barking
Person was wrong about the Sheltie. Sheltie doesn't Bite. Sheltie Barks. At Everything. I don't Bark at Everything, nor does Marmite. But we both Bark at Monty the Mont who is doing his LAST STAND which means he is Barking for Attention again. When Monty the Mont Barks for Attention Person puts him OUTSIDE and pulls down the blind so he can't see Persons, he can't see Marmite and he can't see me. She calls that ISOLATING HIM FROM THE PACK. He doesn't like that so he then Barks to come in. Person doesn't let him in until he has Stopped Barking.Soon Monty the Mont will have lost Person's 'Who's the Alpha Wolf' game.
Sheltie Barks when his Person picks up his lead. He Pulls her down the road Barking all the time, and he Barks at Children and he Barks at other Dogs and he Barks at Balls and he Barks at Bicycles and he Barks at people Wearing Hoods.Now when Sheltie Barks when his Person picks up the lead she is going to put it down again and Do Something Else. He won't go OUT at all until he isn't Barking. Sheltie is going to Lose the 'Who's the Alpha Wolf' game too.
Here is a picture of Monty the Mont Barking at Magic to Get Attention when he was a Puppy.
Labels: alpha wolf, Barking, sheltie
A Horrible Habit
Person came home smelling of Cocker Spaniel yesterday.Person came home smelling of Boxer today. She will come home smelling of Sheltie tomorrow.She is visiting Dogs and doing Dog Listening. She is visiting Persons to show them how to be Alpha Wolves.
The Boxer is only a puppy and he has a Horrible Habit. Anyway, Persons say it's a Horrible Habit. My Person says the Boxer will stop his Horrible Habit soon. I have never had this Horrible Habit, nor has Monty the Mont nor has Marmite. The Cocker Spaniel bit a little girl and Person says it's because the Cocker believes she is The Boss and the little girl didn't do what the Cocker Spaniel told her.The Sheltie bites too. Person says it will also be because he thinks he is The Boss. Person keeps saying HAPPY IS THE DOG THAT KNOWS ITS PLACE. I know my Place now. Marmite knows her Place now. Monty the Mont nearly knows his Place.Anyway, her
e is a picture of Monty saying Hello to Marmite.Labels: boxer, cocker spaniel, sheltie, spaniel
Monty's Last Stand
I have decided I quite like Person being a Dog Listener. Marmite has decided she quite likes Person being a Dog Listener. I am happy to go along with Person Pretending to be an Alpha Wolf for now. He-Person hasn't said That Bloody Pip for a long time. He hasn't said That Flaming Marmite for a long time. He still says You're a Lovely Boy Mont but that's because Monty the Mont is He-Person's Favourite.Person says Monty the Mont is making his LAST STAND. Monty the Mont is Upping his Game. He is trying even harder now to be Top Dog. When I lie down on the floor Monty STANDS OVER me. He is saying to me I'M THE BOSS. When Marmite lies down on the floor Monty STANDS OVER her. He is saying to her I'M THE BOSS.When we come in from OUTSIDE Monty the Mont comes through the door First. Then me. Then Marmite.Monty the Mont doesn't want to Play Person's Game of 'Who's the Alpha Wolf?'Monty the Mont is trying to push through the door IN FRONT of Person! When he does that she turns around and waits until he is behind her. Then she goes through the door. Monty the Mont has begun to Throw himself at the door when he's OUTSIDE and wants to come in, instead of waiting patiently like he used to do, and like Marmite does and like I do apart from my sad little noises.So, Person is doing extra Gesture Eating especially for Monty the Mont. Person is doing special Stop Start Change Direction walks with Monty the Mont. Person IGNORES Monty the Mont unless she calls him to her.Today I am going to Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) to see Linsey Trainer Person. Marmite is going to Person Training too. Monty the Mont will stay in the car this time. He will go to Person Training again when Person has WON the 'Who's the Alpha Wolf?' game. I wonder how long it will take for her to win.
Anyway, I might see Minto and I might see Abbey this afternoon.
Labels: alpha wolf, dog listener, dog training
Patience
Marmite and Monty the Mont think it's Tea Time.
Another Dog Listener
Becky-Dog-Listener came to our house this morning. Yes, another Dog Listener.Because Becky is a Dog Listener, when she came in she IGNORED us of course. Well, she tried to IGNORE us. I Jumped Up. Person put me OUTSIDE. But while Person was putting me OUTSIDE Monty the Mont was Jumping Up. Person put Monty OUTSIDE with me and while she was putting him OUTSIDE Marmite was Jumping Up. We needed to stand on our Hind Legs to say Hello to Becky because Becky is Very Tall.Person said to Becky-Dog-Listener they don't usually do that any more. I don't think Becky believed her though. We did come INSIDE again, but started Scrapping with each other, so we went OUTSIDE again.Anyway, we did eventually come INSIDE and settle down on the rug. Person and Becky were just doing a lot of talking. About Dogs.Then when Becky left we didn't even get up to say Goodbye...Labels: dog listener
Boxing and Lurching
Yesterday Person came home smelling of Buster who is a Boxer.
I liked Boxing Day. Boxing Day was better than Christmas Day because Ole and Tally came to play with me and Monty the Mont and with Marmite.
Today Person came home smelling of Ozzy who is a Lurcher like me. Ozzy is mostly dark grey. He looks like a grey Greyhound.
If there's a Boxing Day, is there a Lurching Day too? I don't lurch. I run Very Fast when Marmite and Monty the Mont are chasing me. (Artist-Neighbour-From-Heaven did a bit of lurching on Christmas evening).
Ozzy looks like poor Bryony who is the Greyhound in the Rescue Kennels Person goes to. She is Grey. A Grey Greyhound. She is only three years old and she is Very Gentle.
Bryony would like to curl up on a Sofa in a Person's warm house. Bryony has a cold wet nose just like mine and just like Ozzy's. Bryony's little bit of field is now all Muddy and Cold so she has to go inside all by herself to keep Warm. You can see a picture of Bryony if you click here.
Ozzy's Persons Love him. Ozzy's Persons Look After him. At the moment Ozzy is thinking that he must Look After His Persons. Ozzy lives in a warm house just like me and just like Marmite and just like Monty the Mont.
Ozzy's Persons are now doing Dog Listening with him. Soon Ozzy will be Very Gentle just like poor Bryony who is in the Rescue Kennels.
This is me with one of my old bones. Person says our garden looks like an ancient burial site.
Labels: boxer, Bryony, christmas, greyhound, lurcher, rescue dog
Newspaper Article
There was a Picture of Me in the newspaper yesterday, and Monty the Mont and Marmite. Oh...and Person was in the Picture too.The newspaper said Person was like Supernanny for Dogs.Person now has Three More Dog Owners to go and do Dog Listening with. There is a Bichon Frise, a Boxer and a Lurcher. I'm a Lurcher. Person does Dog Listening with me.Person will go to the Dog Owners' houses and Talk About Wolves.This afternoon Person will visit the Boxer Owner. The Boxer's name is Buster. Buster is only 7 months old. He Jumps Up all the time, and he Barks and Barks when he is left alone. Just like Monty the Mont before Person started her Dog Listening.Dog Listening is really called Amichien Bonding. I think this is French. Chien is French for Dog.Anyway, Tobi who is from Costa Rica is giving me Spanish Lessons. Perro is Spanish for Dog. I say Woof Woof and Tobi says Guau Guau. Guau Guau sounds like Gooaoo Gooaoo.Hasta La Vista Baby (Person keeps saying Hasta la Vista Baby and it is sooooooo ANNOYING)...
Labels: amichien bonding, bichon frise, boxer, dog listener, lurcher
The (Nearly) Great Escape
I had just finished making IT large enough for Monty the Mont and Marmite to get THROUGH as well.
IT took me a long time. I had to do IT while Person wasn't looking.
Once THROUGH, Monty the Mont, Marmite and I were going to squeeze behind the shed. Then we would be out the front where the cars are.
We would then go for a Walk without taking Person with us. And we could all go TOGETHER - me, Marmite and Monty the Mont. No Changing Direction all the time. Just Stopping and Sniffing and Marking wherever we like.
I knew Person had DISCOVERED IT when she said to He-Person Pip has made a hole in the fence and they can get out behind the shed. He-Person said stop them then. She-Person said how? He-Person said by telling them. She-Person said are you serious? I heard He-Person muttering anything for a quiet life.
So my Person put Mesh over our Escape Route. She put Mesh behind the Shed also in case I started a new one while she wasn't looking.
Labels: escape, walk
Doing Other Things
Person is taking her Dog Listening Very Seriously.She always Eats something before putting our Bowls down because she thinks she's an Alpha Wolf now. She calls this Gesture Eating. Alpha Wolf? I wasn't fooled. I told her I wasn't fooled by walking away from my Bowl without eating anything and Doing Other Things. Person then would just take my Bowl away.Well, Person has now Called My Bluff. When we are all excited because we think it should be Breakfast Time or Tea Time Person just Does Other Things. She carries on Doing Other Things until we have settled down. Then some time later when she feels like it Person feeds us. Perhaps she is an Alpha Wolf after all.And I always Eat my food now. Quickly.Person is also taking us for Road Walks each day. She takes me all by myself. She takes Marmite by herself and then she takes Monty the Mont all by himself. Monty the Mont usually goes last because each time Person picks up his lead he starts to Prance and Jump about. So Person just puts the lead back and Does Other Things. Sometimes she has to Do Other Things three or four times before Monty the Mont stops Prancing and goes out Quietly.Each time I Pull and try to Get Ahead Person just STOPS. Then she Starts Again and Changes Direction. We have now got as far as the house with white gate posts before Person turns around and comes home again. It takes Monty the Mont a long time to get to the house with white gate posts because Person keeps having to Stop and Change Direction.Monty the Mont usually spoils it all by Lunging at the Telegraph Pole on the corner for a Sniff and to Mark the Spot.So, another of Person's New Year Resolutions is to have all three of us Walking down the road with her, with Loose Leads and no Pulling or Lunging at Telegraph Poles.Anyway, it's only Day Three of the New Year and we know what happened to Person's No Sofa Resolution. We know what happened to Person's Eat Only Fruit During the Day and then Sensible Evening Meal Resolution. Will her All Three Dogs Walking Down the Road Together Nicely Resolution actually happen, do you think?And here are Marmite and Monty the Mont trying to Kill me again.
Labels: alpha wolf, dog listener, gesture eating, sofa, walk
Resolutions
You know where I slept last Night? You've Guessed It.On the Sofa.
I'm Understanding now about Person's New Year Resolutions. Person said she was going to eat only Fruit during the Daytime and then Something Sensible for Dinner.Anyway, I saw her eating a Kit-Kat. Kit-Kats have Chocolate. If Person was a real Alpha Wolf she would by now have Increased Urination and Seizures.Here's another Picture of Monty the Mont and Marmite Killing me:
Labels: chocolate, eating, new year
Ole and Tally
Here is a picture of Ole and Tally who came to play with me and Marmite and Monty the Mont yesterday in our Field.
Tally has Longer Legs than Ole, but Ole is Heavier than Tally.
Tally and Ole both DART ABOUT Quickly.
New Year's Day
Today is the first day of the New Year. We've not been up on the Sofa.....yet.I think New Year's Day was even better then Christmas Day! So does Monty the Mont and so does Marmite. Marmite and Monty the Mont had just been Pretending to Kill me like they often do, when we had a Big Surprise. There, at our side gate, were Ole and Tally!We quickly all charged down into our Field and we Chased and Chased and we Played and Played and we Barked and Barked and we pretended to Fight. Ole was Very Brave and only sometimes hid under my Look-Out Table which I stand on to see the World. Tally was Very Brave too until she leapt onto her Person's lap.Ole and Tally are quite small. They are 7 months old and they are Brother and Sister. They are Patterdale Terriers. Ole and Tally are Very Strong and Very Quick.Ole and Tally DART ABOUT.I was a Very Happy Dog Playing with Ole and Tally. Marmite was a Very Happy Dog Playing with Ole and Tally. Even Monty the Mont was a Very Happy Dog Playing with Ole and Tally. He wasn't On the Defensive at all.Anyway, I can still run Fastest in a straight line.So it has been a Happy New Year's Day.Here is a Picture of me being Killed by Monty the Mont and Marmite.
.Labels: Barking, christmas, new year, play
Philosophical
There is one SOFA DAY left before New Year.
NO MORE SOFA is Person's New Year Resolution, Not my New Year Resolution. Not Monty the Mont's New Year Resolution and certainly not Marmite's.
My New Year Resolution is SLEEP ON SOFA.
I'm not quite sure about Years. I'm not sure about Weeks and I'm not sure about Days.
Person often says Wait a Minute. I understand Wait. I don't understand Minute. I don't understand TIME.
I live for the PRESENT.Which reminds me, Person hasn't given me back my Squeaky Toy with Spots yet that I got for Christmas.
I can't do PHILOSOPHICAL very well though I do try sometimes. I am Philosophical about having to WAIT for Monty the Mont to get off my place on the SOFA.Anyway, here is a Philosophical Quote from someone who really Understands Dogs:"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." ~ Sue Murphy..Labels: new year, sofa, wait
New Year Resolution
Here I am (on the Sofa) with Hannawannah's foot on my head.I look like a Mad Dog.In two days' time it will be a New Year. Person says you make Resolutions at New Year.Person says my New Year Resolution and Monty the Mont's New Year Resolution and Marmite's New Year Resolution will be NO MORE SOFA. Oh yes?
Anyway, that means we have Two Sofa Days Left...Labels: sofa
Chocolate
Chocolate is Bad For Dogs. Chocolate smells nice. Hannawannah had Chocolates for Christmas, but she didn't give me one.Person found out that the first signs of Chocolate Poisoning are Vomiting and Diarrhea, Increased Urination and Nausea. These can progress to Cardiac Arrhythmias and Seizures.Oh.Marmite is a Chocolate Labrador. Marmite has quite frequent Urination. She is Chocolate colour but she can't eat Chocolate. If Marmite ate Chocolate she might end up with even more Urination, Cardiac Arrhythmias and Seizures. I wouldn't like that because I love Marmite.My Person helped at the Rescue Kennels again today. She helped Clean the Kennels out. There was a lot of Urination there. Anyway, there is good news because Nemo who is Deaf has gone to live with new Persons. He was in his New Home in time for Christmas.Labels: chocolate, chocolate labrador, christmas, eating
Squeaky Toys
On the Sofa? ME?Neighbours from Heaven gave us Squeaky Toys with Spots for Christmas.Today we Played with our Squeaky Toys with Spots until Marmite KILLED hers so it didn't Squeak any more. Then Persons put away the two Squeaky Toys with Spots and the Dead Toy which didn't Squeak any more.I Liked Christmas and I Liked BOXING Day. I like it when different Persons come to see us.When Persons came they mostly IGNORED us though. Sometimes, just when I was Ignoring them and I had settled down for a quiet Doze they would call me over for a Cuddle and a Fuss. Monty the Mont was called over for a Cuddles and a Fusses and so was Marmite. Then we all wanted Fusses and Cuddles at the same time. We got too Excited so we went OUTSIDE.I Don't Understand Persons.
Anyway, we were Very Good Dogs really.
Labels: christmas, ignore, sofa
Boxing Day
It was Christmas Day yesterday.
It's Boxing Day today. BOXING Day?
I had Presents yesterday. I had a Stuffed Bone. Monty the Mont had a Stuffed Bone and so did Marmite.
I had a Squeaky Toy but Person takes it away from me because I always try to kill Squeaky Toys and then they don't Squeak any more. When we all have Squeaky Toys it's Very NOISY.
I carried balls made of of Wrapping Paper about. So did Marmite and so did Monty the Mont. I like balls made of Wrapping Paper.
We had Ten Persons at our house yesterday. In the evening Artist and Sue-Person Neighbours From Heaven came to our house with Tim and Tom. Persons were all Very NOISY. More Noisy than me and Monty the Mont and Marmite with Squeaky Toys.
And all the Persons DRANK a lot. The drink smelt funny and it made me blink.
I Nudged, and I Leant Against and I Pawed and I lay on my Back to GET ATTENTION. So did Marmite and so did Monty the Mont. This was to make Tim and Tom and Artist and Sue-Person make a Fuss of us and Play with us. And for a little while it Worked! But this is NOT ALLOWED. So my Person put us OUTSIDE and when we came back IN we had to go to our Beds.
From my Bed I looked at Neighbours-from-Heaven with my Sad Look so that they would think my Person was Cruel.
All the Persons LAUGHED a lot. They did something called a Quiz. They did More DRINKING.
When Artist Person stood up to go back home I thought he might Fall Over but Sue-Person caught him in time.
It took a long time for Artist-Next-Door to find the hole to put his key in so he could open his front door so they could all get into their house. All the Persons were LAUGHING a lot. Artist was LAUGHING a lot as well.
Persons can be CONFUSING at times.
Anyway, today Person is taking Sarah Bear home to London. Then it will just be He-Person here with Me, Monty the Mont and Marmite.
So, it's BOXING Day today. I think it may be SOFA Day too. It will be FOOTBALL Day. He-Person will watch Football on TV VERY LOUD because my Person will be away in London.
Labels: christmas, ignore, sofa
A New Home
My Person went to Help at the Rescue Kennels again. She says it was Cold, Foggy and Wet at the kennels. I was born in the Rescue Kennels. I was found a New Home but I became Very Sick and I Nearly Died. And so the Persons didn't want me any more.So I was RESCUED again by my Person when I was 9 weeks old. It was only going to be until I was Made Better and was Found a Home. When I was Better Person just kept me.Here is a picture of Bryony who is a Greyhound and she is in the Rescue Kennels. She is Grey. A Grey Greyhound. She is only three years old and very Loving. I'm very Loving, Monty the Mont is very Loving and so is Marmite.I managed to creep back on the Sofa again last night. So did Monty and so did Marmite.Bryony would like to curl up on a Sofa in a Person's warm house. Bryony has a cold wet nose just like mine. Bryony's little bit of field is now all Muddy and Cold so she has to go inside all by herself to keep Warm.
If you know anybody who would Rescue Bryony like my Person Rescued me, please send me a Message (on the right) or email me on pipsblog@aol.com My Person keeps saying she is Very Very Happy to have me. She says she would never take me back to the Rescue Kennels. Not even when I chewed the remote control, or broke the vase, or chewed A Short History of Nearly Everything which was a library book..........
Labels: Briony, greyhound, rescue, rescue dog, sofa
Danger in the Night
In the middle of Last Night I heard NOISES OUTSIDE. I heard a Dog Barking as well. Monty the Mont heard Noises too and so did Marmite.Marmite started with her funny little sound which is like a BARK trapped inside her trying to get out. Then she broke into a loud WOOF. Then I BARKED. Then Monty the Mont BARKED.Persons used to SHOUT at us if we BARKED in the Night. When Persons SHOUTED while were BARKING it sounded like WA WA WA WA and like they were Joining In. We knew then that there must be REAL DANGER because Persons were making a lot of EXCITEMENT and NOISE as well. So then we knew we had to to BARK and BARK even MORE.But Person has been doing her Dog Listening and she's being an Alpha Wolf. So do you know what happened? We were BARKING in the Middle of the Night and Person got up and she came and THANKED US. Thanked us for BARKING! We knew then that she had Taken Notice.Person opened the Door and she went OUTSIDE but without me, or Marmite or Monty the Mont. We watched her through the glass door. She Looked About. She Listened. This is because the Alpha Wolf makes the Decisions in times of Perceived Danger.Anyway, Person just came back INSIDE without a word. She went back to bed. We knew then that everything must be Safe and that we didn't need to help her Defend the Pack. I went back to bed. Monty the Mont went back to bed and Marmite went back to bed. We didn't need to BARK any more.
Labels: Barking, danger, dog listener, wolf
Rescue Kennels
OUTSIDE is slippery and white. It's so COLD my feet stick to the paving.My Person went to the Rescue Kennels today. This is where I was born. In the Rescue Kennels there are 40 dogs, and the Person who lived there and looked after them just went away. Suddenly. So my Person is helping.She came home smelling of Greyhounds and German Shepherds. She also smelt of a Dog called Nemo. Nemo had been a Very Happy Dog because he was found a New Home. But now he's a Very Sad Dog. The Persons in his New Home took him back to the Rescue Kennels. It was because they Split Up. That must hurt. Do Dogs Split Up I wonder?Nemo is about 20 months old. Nemo is Deaf. I'm not Deaf - I'm a very good Hearing Dog and I'm a Sight Hound. Dog Listener Persons would Understand Nemo, and Nemo would Understand Dog Listeners. This is because Dog Listeners say Actions Speak Louder Than Words.My Person says she could have Fallen in Love with Nemo (and also one of the Greyhounds). Person says we can't have any more dogs in our Pack. She has enough Trouble with Me, and with Marmite, and with Monty the Mont. I wonder what she means?So, Nemo badly needs a New Home. Here is a picture of Nemo:
Labels: rescue, rescue dog
Rats
This morning Person saw a Big Grey Rat just ouside the window on the roof of our Big Outside Kennel. It was eating the bird food.I have been trying to tell Person that there are Rats on our Veranda. Marmite has been trying to tell Person about the Rats and so has Monty the Mont. Person just doesn't LISTEN to us. First thing each morning we rush about with our noses to the ground. We're telling her that there is Rat Scent by the fence, Rat Scent at the edge of the veranda, Rat Scent in our Big Outside Kennel and Rat Scent across the garden and under the shed.And she calls herself a Dog Listener?.....Labels: dog listener
The Hunt
Person says she is now going to make Walking the Dogs a Pleasure.I'm not quite sure what Person means. As soon as I think I'm going out for a Walk I get very excited. I find it a Pleasure already.She's still practising all this Understanding Dogs stuff on us.So I went for two Little Walks yesterday. Marmite went for two Little Walks yesterday. Monty the Mont nearly didn't get even one Little Walk yesterday. As soon as Person picked up his lead he started to Prance About. So she just put it down again and took Me or Marmite instead.They were very STRANGE Walks. It took a Very Long Time to go a Very Short Distance. Person kept saying something about THE HUNT and because she's pretending to be an Alpha Wolf she LEADS THE HUNT.Just as I was thinking 'Ah I know where we are going' Person stopped and turned around and Walked in a different direction. It took a Long Time to get as far as the corner at the bottom of the road. Each time I felt the collar tighten around my neck Person just Stopped! She didn't speak. She didn't jerk the lead. She just STOPPED.Then she Started again and Changed Direction again. We're not going to get anywhere or HUNT anything, let alone Elk, if we keep turning around.Monty the Mont didn't even get out of the drive on his First Walk. Person just kept going in different directions until Monty the Mont was walking next to her with a loose lead. Anyway, we never PULL to Get in Front on the way back Home. Person says it's because we know the HUNT is over.HUNT? What HUNT?
PS. If we Jump Up at the Window Person won't let us IN now.
Labels: canine communication, dog listener, hunt, pulling, understanding dogs, walk
Long Dog
I'm a Lurcher so I'm a SIGHT Hound. I'm a very good HEARING Hound too. I have just found out that I'm also called a LONG DOG. I am very Looong when I Stretch. I'm also a SKINNY DOG.
Perhaps I'm Skinny because my Person is STARVING me. She picks up my Food Bowl when I walk away from it before I've eaten my Food. I walk away from my Bowl and see if I can get back to it just in time before Person picks it up and takes it away.
I know Person's Games! They all started when she went on that Course on Understanding Dogs.
Person now always Eats Food First herself before putting our Bowls down because she's pretending to be the Alpha Wolf and because Alpha Wolves always Eat Food First. They don't eat Biscuits, though. Alpha Wolves eat Raw Elk Flesh.
But she can't MAKE me Watch her Eating Food First, can she! She Ignores me so I will Ignore her too. Perhaps I might watch Person if she ate Raw Elk Flesh first and not just a Biscuit.
Afterwards I try to tell Person I'm so SKINNY I will STARVE if she doesn't give me my food back, but she doesn't LISTEN to me. And she's supposed to be a Dog Listener now.
Anyway, today Person put a little Milk on my Breakfast and I love Milk. Milk makes Marmite sick. If Person puts Milk on my Breakfast I might just pretend to Play her Games. If she gave me Raw Elk Flesh I would certainly Play her Games.
Labels: eating, food, gesture eating, long dog, sight hound, understanding dogs, wolf, wolves
Whiskers
It's still Windy.
There are Grass Tassles blowing about.
I have Whiskers. Am I an Airdale? Am I a Chinese Crested Dog? Am I a shaved Cat?No, I'm SUPERDOG.
Monty the Mont YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!
Karen Person came to see us this morning. I nearly Jumped Up but not quite - but Person put me OUTSIDE. Monty the Mont Pranced a little and nearly Jumped Up and Person put him OUTSIDE too. At first Marmite was a Very Good Dog. Then SUDDENLY she JUMPED RIGHT UP onto the sofa next to Karen! My Person put Marmite OUTSIDE STRAIGHT AWAY.Very soon Person let us back IN again. We didn't Jump Up. Karen PUSHED me away gently whilst not looking at me, just like Person told her to. I knew what Karen really wanted was to make a Big Fuss of me. Then Karen gently PUSHED Monty the Mont away. Then she gently PUSHED Marmite away. Then she Pushed us all Away. We only wanted to Lick Karen's legs. She had some special skin cream on her legs which tasted nice.
Karen just went on talking to my Person. Karen didn't look at me. Karen didn't look at Monty the Mont. Karen didn't look at Marmite.
Person says we were MILLING AROUND Karen and she put us OUTSIDE AGAIN.The Third time Person let us in we quickly Settled Down. Marmite lay down first and gave a big SIGH. Monty the Mont then lay down and gave a big SIGH. I went first to have a sniff in Karen's bag and then went to Lie Down. I gave a big SIGH.
After a while Person said Karen could now make a fuss of us if she called us to her. That Spoilt it all.
Karen called to Monty the Mont, but I came as well and so did Marmite. We got Excited. We didn't jump up though.
Anyway, Person just put us OUTSIDE again.
Labels: jumping up, play, push, sofa
Bored
It's Raining and Raining and the Wind is Blowing and Whooshing.I am Bored. Monty the Mont is Bored and so is Marmite Bored.There is No News. Person has been working at her Computer all day, making a new Website and a new Database and doing lots of Typing. She is Setting Up her New Business as a Dog Listener. So I am Bored.
I ate a Pen earlier. Person dropped it on the floor.
I had a little Fight out in the Field with Monty the Mont before it started to Rain. Marmite joined in - she always takes Monty the Mont's side and they both chase at me and BARK at me. I show my TEETH but they don't believe me.
The Wind Blew too much and we came Indoors.
I am just so Bored. Monty the Mont is so Bored. Marmite is so Bored.
Anyway, it's Warm on our Beds in front of the Radiator under Person's desk.
Labels: Barking, teeth
Tobi from Costa Rica
Here are two pictures of My Friend Tobi from Costa Rica, who writes to me in my Blog.
Persons went out to Talk Talk Eat and Drink with Neighbours-from-Heaven yesterday evening.
I only did one naughty thing while Persons were out. I chewed up a Spoon. I didn't jump onto the piano and Break a Vase this time.
My Person Talked to Neighbours-From-Heaven about Wolves and being a Dog Listener. (They did warn her on the Canine Communication Course about becoming a Jan Fennell Bore).
Labels: bad dog, canine communication, Jan Fennell
Sausages
So, when Person came back from her Course with her Certificate in Advanced Canine Communication we were Very Happy Dogs. Because she didn't Look at us when she came in we were also Very Calm Dogs.Then she SPOILT it all. She took us to the Person Training ('Dog' Training ha ha) Christmas Party.We were Very Good Dogs and Very Calm Dogs when we got out of the Car - until we heard lots and lots of BARKING and TALKING and MUSIC coming from our Training Hall.Monty the Mont was Prancing About. He-Person went ahead with Monty PULLING him. My She-Person had my lead and she had Marmite's lead. She had to hold on Tight.I felt Excited. I also felt Scared. Danger? I PULLED so I could get Ahead. Marmite also PULLED so that she could get Ahead.And Person just STOPPED. Then she Started again and Changed Direction. She didn't say anything to us at all.I PULLED again to get Ahead and so did Marmite. And Person just STOPPED again. Then she Started again and Changed Direction. She didn't say anything to us at all.I could see that if we carried on like this we would NEVER get to Find Out what was Happening in the Hall. So then I Walked Very Nicely and Marmite Walked Very Nicely as far as the Door. There were Lots and Lots and Lots of Dogs, and Lots and Lots and Lots of Persons and lots and lots of Children. I SPRANG FORWARD. Marmite SPRANG FORWARD. I Love Children. Marmite Loves Children. There was Music. I could smell Food. Dogs and Persons and Children were Laughing and Shouting and Barking and Running About and Sitting on different Chairs. We PULLED and we PULLED on our leads. Monty the Mont then started BARKING and He-Person took him back to the Car. Monty the Mont kept on BARKING in the Car. Monty the Mont always BARKS when he is all by himself in the Car. So He-Person took Marmite back to the Car to keep him company.
My Person said it was BEDLAM. I played one Game. It was a Sausage game. There was a row of Plates and each had some Sausage on it. I had to run to each plate and eat Sausage as Quickly as possible. I love Sausage. If Person fed me Sausage instead of Dry Neutro I wouldn't Mess About at meal times.
CONFUSING. Lots of Persons I didn't know. Lots of Dogs I didn't know. Lots of Persons I did know and lots of Dogs I did know. I was on my lead so I couldn't Investigate. And for some reason I had Sausages to eat from a row of plates.Anyway, I did manage to have a quick kiss with Abi the Retreiver who is in my New Class. I love Abi and I love Minto. I couldn't find Minto at the Christmas Party, but I was on my lead so I couldn't have a good look. I said Hello to Person Ann's little Patterdales and to Toby and Bella who are Jack Russells. I said Hello to the Other Monty who is a Whippet. I was a bit unsure of a Big Lassie Dog so a lay on my back to be on the safe side.
I was just beginning to Enjoy Myself when Person took me back to the car. Marmite and Monty the Mont SNIFFED me. SAUSAGES?
Labels: Barking, dog training, dogs, jack russell, lassie, pulling, retreiver, whippet
Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication
Person came home yesterday evening with a 'Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication'.I had not seen Person for Three Whole Days, nor had Marmite and nor had Monty the Mont. She had not see US for three whole days either. And do you know what? Person came in the door and she IGNORED US!(I did hear Person saying she was very very pleased with us because we didn't jump around her. We sniffed her (she smelt of Jan Fennells spaniels) and we followed her about but we didn't get excited.Anyway, soon Person called us to her and made a fuss of us and put our collars on. Collars on? We're going out somewhere?Well, she put my collar on and she put Marmite's collar on, but Monty the Mont started to Prance About, so she didn't put Monty the Mont's collar on. She went and sat down at her computer instead.She then called Monty the Mont to her again and he was quiet while she put on his collar.Person next fetched our leads but Monty the Mont had forgotten something! He started jumping about and Person put his lead away again. I had to wait in the car and so did Marmite. Then Monty the Mont too came out to the car nice and quietly.Persons then took us out to the Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) Christmas Party.Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication????Well, I'll tell you about the Christmas Party tomorrow!
Here is a picture of my Person and the other new Dog Listeners. Tony who Taught them all is fourth from the left.Labels: canine communication, dog training, ignore, Jan Fennell, spaniel
A Message from my Person
Person is still away but she has sent me a message.Person says she has had Two Days learning how to be a Jan Fennell Dog Listener and she's having a Very Interesting Time and a Very Good Time. A Very Good Time without Me?Jan Fennell's son is called Tony Dog Listener. He has been Teaching my Person. This means no more playing Food Games for me or she will pick up my bowl straight away. No more fussing for Marmite when Person calls her and she just stays in bed looking lovely. No more Walks for Monty the Mont while he still Prances About at the door or Lunges.Persons says she now Understands us even Better (oh dear) and we will be even MORE Happy than before. How can that be?
Person says she will now be Understanding Other People's Dogs too.
Person also tells me she has been doing Role Play. I hope she does some Role Play with me. I would like that. I like Playing and I like Rolls.
Labels: dog listener, eating, food, Jan Fennell, walk
Happy Dogs
Person is getting ready to Go Away next week for Three Whole Days.She should then have a Certificate in Canine Communication and How to be a Dog Listener from Jan Fennell.Person can then visit the homes of Persons whose Dogs are UNHAPPY. Their Dogs are SO UNHAPPY that they want to BITE Persons and they want to BITE other Dogs and they want to BITE the Chairs and Doors. My Person will show these Persons how to be Alpha Wolves which will make their Dogs more Happy.I am a very Happy Dog. Marmite is a very Happy Dog. Monty the Mont is a very Happy Dog at Home. He's not always a very Happy Dog when he's OUT when there are other Dogs because he's On the Defensive. He doesn't Bite them but he sometimes GROWLS. And he's a Very UNHAPPY Dog if he's left all by himself in the Car.But Monty the Mont is Getting Much Better. Person says that it takes some Dogs quite a Long Time to give up the BURDEN of trying to be an Alpha Wolf and thinking that they have to do all the Worrying about Everything.Anyway, Me - I can't be bothered with all that! Too much Responsibility for me! Just so long as Marmite and Monty the Mont realise that I must always be IN FRONT of them, I'm Happy.I have to keep showing Monty the Mont who is really the Boss. He thinks he is - ha ha!
Labels: Biting, canine communication, dog listener, Jan Fennell
Christmas Party
This week was the last Training before Christmas. But next week is our CHRISTMAS PARTY.
There will be Lots and Lots of DOGS. And Lots and Lots of PERSONS. and Lots and Lots of FOOOOOD. I think it will be Person Food though.
Person might not have come back in time so we may be late. She will have been away finishing her Canine Communication and Learning to be an Alpha Wolf Course.
I will Love all the Dogs and all the Persons and all the Food (they might drop some). Marmite will also Love all the dogs and all the Persons and especially all the Food. I don't know about Monty the Mont. Person says 'We Will See'.Labels: dogs, food
Breakfast
In the Night my Tummy was RUMBLING and I DREAMED about EATING ELK.
I didn't Mess About this morning.While Person was doing her Pretend Gesture Eating I thought of the Wolf Pack. They may have been Starving but they still had to WAIT and WATCH while the Alpha Wolves Ate First.So I ate ALL my breakfast (even though it was only Dry Dog Food and not Warm and Bloody ELK flesh).
Labels: eating, food, wolf, wolves
Elk
Alpha Wolves always Eat FIRST while all the other Wolves WAIT.Person is still pretending to be an Alpha Wolf. She Eats a Biscuit before she puts our Bowls down. It's called Gesture Eating.Person doesn't look at us while she Eats her Biscuit. But we Look at her. We Watch as she takes each SLOW Bite from her Biscuit. She IGNORES us (or she Pretends to). Marmite DROOLS.
This afternoon I thought "I'm not going to play Person's Game this time" so I IGNORED her. I Sniffed about while Person did Gesture Eating with her Biscuit. I IGNORED her. I Sniffed to see if she had dropped any Bits of Dry Dog Food under the table. Anyway, Real Wolves don't eat Bits of Dry Dog Food. Certainly not a BISCUIT! Real Alpha Wolves HUNT and KILL animals like Elks and they Eat the Warm and Bloody Flesh. AFTER the Real Alpha Wolves are FULL UP and Fat with Warm and Bloody Elk flesh they let the other Wolves Eat.At Tea time today when Person put my Bowl down I pretended I was still looking for dropped Dry Dog Food under the table.Monty the Mont finished all his Tea. Marmite finished her Tea. I did NOT Eat any of my Tea.So, Person picked up Monty the Mont's Empty Bowl, Marmite's Empty bowl and my FULL Bowl and she took them away. I would have Eaten Elk with Warm and Bloody Flesh.
Last time I played this G
ame Person gave me my Tea a bit later. By myself. She made a fuss of me. I liked that.Not this time. She is going to make me WAIT until Breakfast tomorrow.
Labels: eating, food, gesture eating, ignore, wolf, wolves
Morbidly Obese, and Hugely and Grossly Overweight
Today in the News there's a Chololate Labrador called Rusty. Rusty is in the News because he is MORBIDLY OBESE.An RSPCA inspector found Rusty to be HUGELY and GROSSLY overweight so he was Taken Away from his Persons in a Van. That will have made poor Rusty very Sad. My Person feeds Marmite less than she feeds me because Marmite Loves Eating. Marmite could easily get HUGELY and GROSSLY Overwight. I couldn't easily get HUGELY and GROSSLY Overweight because I Eat more than Marmite and I'm always Skinny.Poor Rusty couldn't Walk even a few steps before having to Sit and he Collapsed if he was Standing for more than a minute or two. I'm not MORBIDLY OBESE. I'm SKINNY.Person gives Marmite Less to Eat than she gives me. I wouldn't want Marmite to be Taken Away in a Van. Nor would Monty the Mont. And it would make Marmite very Sad.
Anyway, here is Marmite and I love Marmite just the way she is and Monty the Mont loves Marmite just the way she is. Persons love Marmite just the way she is too. Marmite isn't OBESE, she just has Short Legs.Labels: chocolate labrador, eating, food
No More Sofa
These Pictures show you WHAT'S HAPPENED....................................................................
She Person is going away for Three Whole Days next week. She is going to finish her Dog Listening Course at Jan Fennell's Farmhouse. Jan Fennell has Eleven Spaniels.
I think Person has already learnt a bit too much about UNDERSTANDING DOGS.
He-Person will look after us while she is Away.
Will He-Person be Alpha Wolf while Person is Away? Will he do Gesture Eating before putting our Bowls down? Will he pick up our Bowls as soon as we have finished? Will he IGNORE us when he comes in? Will he Keep Control of the Door to OUTSIDE?
While He-Person is busy Watching Sport on TV VERY LOUD will I be able to Creep back onto the Sofa again? Will Marmite? Will Monty the Mont who is really He-Person's Favourite?
Labels: dog listener, gesture eating, ignore, Jan Fennell, sofa, spaniel
A Sofa in Costa Rica
This afternoon Person has put another duvet under her desk. She found it in the shed.It's Yellow.My new Indoor Collar has Yellow on it. Person uses my new Indoor Collar to take me OUTSIDE if I try to Jump Up when Visitors come.My Friend Tobi from Cost Rica has just told me that if I ever Venture to Costa Rica I can share his Sofa with him.Some Dogs are Very Kind.Labels: jumping up, sofa
Oh oh oh oh oh!
Oh oh oh oh oh!
I knew I was right to feel Suspicious when Person went to learn about Dog Listening and being an Alpha Wolf.
I heard Person saying she is going to STOP us from Going On The Sofas. 'By Christmas'.
Mary-Contrary-Person who has Robin and Nellie came to see us yesterday. I was so excited to see her because I know she finds it Very Difficult to IGNORE me like my Person asks her to. But when I tried to jump up Person put me straight OUTSIDE. When Monty the Mont tried to jump up Person put him straight OUTSIDE. When Marmite tried to jump up Person put Marmite OUTSIDE. She then let us IN again. Very soon we Settled Down on the floor. Marmite Settled Down on the floor first and gave a big SIGH. Then Monty the Mont Settled down and gave a big SIGH. I went to my Bed under Person's Desk and gave a Big SIGH.
Mary-Contrary says she NEVER lets Robin and Nellie go on her Sofa. This is all Mary-Contrary's fault, I think.
Yesterday when it was Very Windy and Very Stormy and Very Muddy I came in and jumped onto the Sofa but for some reason Person pulled me off. Person then Washed and Polished the Sofa.
I wonder HOW Person is going to Stop me from Sleeping on the Sofa. Or Stop Monty the Mont from Sleeping on the Sofa. Or Stop Marmite from Sleeping on the Sofa.
Anyway, we are under her desk just now because it's near to her. It's nice and warm too.
Labels: dog listener, ignore, jumping up, sofa,
