Sunday, May 20, 2007

A dog that doesn't like Walks!

My Person came home from Dog Listening smelling of two Black Labradors and a Ginger CAT last Wednesday.

One of the Black Labradors is called Ebony. Ebony is SCARED. Ebony doesn't like Walks. Doesn't like Walks! I LOVE Walks (really Walks are Hunts, Sniffs and Runs).

Monty the Mont is a Black Labrador, but Monty isn't SCARED like Ebony when he's out on Walks.

Ebony has her Tail Down and she Hangs Back. If Ebony's Person lets her off-lead, Ebony runs away and doesn't come back for a Long Time.

Ebony's Person had sent Ebony away to stay with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week.

Afterwards, the Dog Trainer told Ebony's Person to Hide and to Watch. The Trainer walked past with Ebony.

Ebony had no lead and she walked happily beside the Dog Trainer. Ebony's Tail was Waggy and she was Smiling. Then the Dog Trainer sent Ebony away to play with two other dogs in a field. Then he called Ebony back and she came right away.

Ebony's Person said Ebony looked like a Different Dog. She had never before seen Ebony looking happy on a walk, with her Tail Waggy.

My Tail Is Curly and Waggy, Monty the Mont's Tail is Straight and Waggy just like Ebony's and so is Marmite's.

Sadly, as SOON as Ebony was back home with her Person she was Scared again.

As SOON as Ebony's Person put the lead on Ebony's tail Went Down. As SOON as Ebony's Person took Ebony's lead off, Ebony ran away again and didn't come back for a Long Time.

My Person said it just shows Ebony Never Needed a Dog Trainer.

My Dog Listener Person showed Ebony's Person how to behave like an Alpha Wolf, just like the Dog Trainer did.

My Person won't be sending me away to live with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week. Anyway, I have learnt to play her Dog Listening Games. Monty the Mont learnt to Play Person's Dog Listening Games. (Person says Marmite is getting a bit Above Herself lately so Marmite is being IGNORED for a while).

Here is a picture of Ebony, Inca and the Ginger CAT (Ebony is at the back):

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Person DARE NOT take me to Dog Training

I have not been to see Linsey Trainer Person at Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) for a Long Time. Marmite hasn't been to Training for a Long Time. (Monty the Mont never goes to Training because Monty the Mont doesn't like Training).

Granny Person is in Hospital. Person goes to see Granny Person Every Day to help her to eat her Dinner.

I would like Person to help me to eat my Dinner. If Person helped me to eat my Dinner it would make me feel IMPORTANT. Instead, she IGNORES me when I eat my Dinner. Then she removes my bowl straight away - before Marmite can come and see if I have left anything for her.

Person is visiting Granny Person and she is doing Dog Listening with lots of other Dogs. So Person now hasn't much time for Me, or for Monty the Mont or for Marmite.

Person says we are Getting Above Ourselves.

So Person DARE NOT take me or Marmite to Training now. I just might JUMP UP. I just might PULL ON LEAD. Marmite just might make a PUDDLE on the Floor.

A Dog Listener CANNOT have Dogs herself that Jump Up or Pull on Lead or make a Puddle on the Floor.

Luke, Person's Fourth Born, came to see us with Lovely Louise and Baby Elle.

Anyway, I'm off out to our Field now to see what Monty the Mont is Barking at.

PS. Dog Listeners CANNOT have Dogs that Bark out in the Field, either.

Friday, May 04, 2007


I'm Not Allowed Toys in the House. We must go OUTSIDE to Play.

But because Person is out Dog Listening all the time, Person says we are Getting Away With Murder.

The rug slides across the wood floor when I chase Monty the Mont and when Monty the Mont chases Marmite and when Marmite chases me to get the Toy. Then I Get Into Trouble.

On Monday Person came home smelling of Patterdale. Patterdale is called Ruby. Ruby does Vertical Take-Off. This is Ruby.

On Tuesday Person came home smelling of two Bull Mastiffs called Max and Macy.

Everyone was IGNORING Max because Max was Clamouring for Attention. Max has a Very Big Head.

Here is Macy Keeping Out of Trouble.

I don't always Keep Out of Trouble. I quite like Trouble. It's better than being IGNORED.

Anyway, I don't need to do Vertical Take-Off because I'm Tall. Monty the Mont doesn't need to do Vertical Take-Off because he's Tall also.

Marmite isn't Tall, but Marmite is too FAT to do Vertical Take-Off.