November 14, 2013

Moving Monty

I make Monty the Mont Do What I Want.

I just LOOK AT HIM. 

Persons won't Help Me.

But I can't make Little Pickle Do What I Want. Pickle always Does What Pickle Wants.

Pickle IGNORES me.

Pickle Keeps On Pickling.


September 27, 2013

Conditioning


Person is giving us Magic Tablets.  

 
CONDITIONING TABLETS with Brewers Yeast.

Hmmmm. I know all about Person and her Conditioning. 

I hear her at her desk Talking to Invisible Persons about Conditioning. 

"You must Condition Your Dog to Come When Called".

I am Conditioned Not to Chase Little Pickle. 

Milly is Conditioned to Lie Down when a Someone Comes In. 

 
Pickle is Conditioned to Get Excited whenever Person stands up. She may Take Us Out.

(Person tries to UNcondition him by Sitting Down again). Maybe a Magic Tablet will do the trick.

We do it for food really. 



Anyway, Person says Silly Milly is Less Anxious.

Person says that Monty the Mont has More Energy.

Person says I have a Lovely Coat and the Hair on my Tummy is Growing. 

So, why can't Conditioning Tablets Condition Pickle to Stop Pickling?.

I'm just checking what he is Getting Up To behind me, 

And what Zara has been Eating that she shouldn't.


Hmmmmmm. I wonder.... If Person were to give Pickle Extra Conditioning Tablets, could he be Conditioned Not to Annoy Me?




July 28, 2013

Keeping Cool

We have a New Paddling Pool. Old Paddling Pool Developed a Hole.

(Milly Developed the Hole in Old Paddling Pool. I saw her).

 Pickle Gets INTO Water.

Little Pickle tries to Get INTO our Drinking Water Bowl too.

He gets his Front Feet in our Water Bowl.

He Digs the Water out out All Over the Floor.

Anyway, Zara can Pant and Carry a Ball at the same time.

And Monty the Mont has Developed a Hunger. He wants his Tea.

July 13, 2013

Eating Water

Today it is HOT.

Pickle is Eating Water.

We have a Water Fountain coming out of the Willow Tree Arch.

One day Monty the Mont hopes to Catch the Water.

Person says Silly Milly gets Drunk in Water. 

Milly Drunk?  



It's the Water that's Drunk by me.

Anyway, I only like Water from the Drinking Bucket. 

NOT from a Fountain in the Willow Tree Arch.

NOT in a Pool.

And NOT coming out of the Sky.


June 02, 2013

Dead Baby Mole

We all are WAITING. Waiting till we are ALL Calm.

Waiting for Pickle to be Calm.

WAITING to go into the Field.



But where's Pickle? (where's Wally?).

Anyway, today Pickle dug a Mole Hill. Pickle dug up a Baby Mole and Zara helped him.

Now he is Protecting his Baby Mole.

He didn't Mean to Kill it. It Just Died.

Milly wants the Dead Baby Mole. Zara wants the Dead Baby Mole.

Pickle doesn't Growl.

 
Person says she is Proud of us because we Don't Quarrel over Dead Baby Moles.

But Person says she's Sad. Sad for a Baby Mole. SAD??

I'm not interested in Baby Moles and nor is Monty the Mont.

I'm not quite sure what Sad is.....

....unless it's what I feel when Person stops me Chasing Little Pickle.


Anyway, Little Pickle has now given his Dead Baby Mole to Person in exchange for a Marrowbone Markie and we can at last go into the Sitting Room.

May 02, 2013

May NOT Day

Yesterday was May Day.

Yesterday was May NOT Day for Little Pickle.

May NOT Annoy Monty.

May NOT Dig Holes. 

May NOT Bark.

May NOT Steal Milly's Bone.

May NOT Corner Zara under the bench. 

May Not Scramble Over the Barrier. 


I Just Watch.   

I'm a Good Boy 
 



April 03, 2013

I'm Tweeting to Myself


I learnt to TWEET. 

I prefer to WOOFF really.

But  - I'm Tweeting to Myself. 

Is this the First Sign of Madness?

Talk to me on Twitter. Please.

I don't want to be a Mad Dog. 

Or a Mad Bird.

March 19, 2013

It's Pickle again

How can it be Person's Birth Day Today?

Person's Birth Day was FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE YEARS ago.

Person's Today Birth Day Did Not Start Well.

All because of Pickle's Pickling.

Pickle JUMPED over the Field Fence to catch a Blackbird.

Person threw Food on the ground so Pickle Dropped the Blackbird.

Person popped the Blackbird over the High Fence.


So Little Pickle DUG a BIG HOLE under the High Fence.

Pickle's Feet were Muddy.

Pickle's Nose was Muddy.

Person was Not Pleased with Pickle.


Anyway, Person is Pleased with ME on her Birth Day.

I don't Catch Blackbirds. I don't Jump over the Field Fence. I don't Dig under the High Fence.

I am a GOOD BOY.



March 03, 2013

DING DONG

DING DONG.

It's the doorbell.

Zara was Spayed last week. 

DING DONG

Person says Zara is Spayed so she can't Have Baby Dogs. Person says it's to stop Pickle Bothering her.

I hope Zara Spayed stops Pickle Bothering ME also. 

It hasn't yet.

DING DONG

Zara Must Not Jump. Zara Must Not Stretch. Zara Must Not Charge About the place.

DING DONG 

Zara did not Eat for a Whole Day!

The next morning Zara gave a Big Stretch with her front legs. She gave a Big Stretch with her Back Legs.

Zara Jumped onto the Chair.

Zara Charged About after Pickle.

DING DONG

Anyway, Person is 'Desensitising Us to the Doorbell'.

DING DONG DING DONG

Here is a Picture of us all our in our Dog Den while the Doorbell goes DING DONG.

 
We are DESENSITISED.

Can she Desensitise me to Pickle?

January 19, 2013

I have a New Coat

Person says Zara is a Good Girl.

Zara is such a Goody Goody.

Zara is such a GREEDY Goody Goody.

Zara is always Looking For Something To Eat.

Monty the Mont used always to be Looking For Something To Eat.

But Monty the Mont has been in HOSPITAL.
Monty went to Hospital because he was no longer Eating Quickly.

I don't Eat Quickly. I Eat SLOWLY.

I Crunch Crunch Crunch. One bit at a time.

Monty, Milly, Pickle and Zara watch me and DROOOOOOL. Especially Zara.

Anyway, it's snowing outside.

Person has bought me a New Coat. 

It's because I'm Skinny. 

And because I am a Good Boy.

Monty the Mont is now Eating again. 

Monty isn't Skinny.