Dopey Tablets

Person took us each for a Stop Start Change Direction walk yesterday, and do you know who was best?

Monty the Mont! Perhaps it won't be long before Monty the Mont lets Person win the 'Who's the Alpha Wolf' game.

Person came home today smelling of Jack Russell.

Person came home today feeling sad. When she went in the house Jack Russell had a Muzzle over his nose and mouth. He had a Muzzle so he couldn't Bite.

Jack Russell had a chain lead on his collar. He had a chain lead so his Person could grab hold of him.

And poor Jack Russell was Dopey because he was Drugged. He was Drugged to Keep Him Quiet.

Jack Russell's Person said Jack Russell may have to be PUT DOWN. Put Down?

I don't like being PICKED UP. I like to Stand and to Walk and I like to Run. My Person finds me heavy to pick up so she doesn't have to PUT ME DOWN. She can't pick up Monty the Mont and she can't pick up Marmite at all. But Jack Russell is small and light.

Person IGNORED Jack Russell just like she IGNORES me. Soon he came and lay down next to her.

Person asked for his Lead and Muzzle to be removed. Jack Russell came back to lie down next to her and she still IGNORED him. He was Very Dopey.

Jack Russell is going to stop having Dopey Tablets. His Person is going to try Dog Listening instead.

I don't Bite and I don't need a Muzzle. Monty the Mont doesn't bite and doesn't need a Muzzle. Marmite doesn't bite either and she doesn't need a Muzzle.

Anyway, I would need a lot of Dopey Tablet to make me dopey. So would Monty the Mont. Marmite wouldn't need quite so much Dopey Tablet to make her dopey because she is a little bit dopey already.

Here is Marmite under Person's desk trying to eat the bookmark hanging down from Person's diary. She couldn't do that if she had a Muzzle.

Happy Dogs

Person is getting ready to Go Away next week for Three Whole Days.

She should then have a Certificate in Canine Communication and How to be a Dog Listener from Jan Fennell.

Person can then visit the homes of Persons whose Dogs are UNHAPPY. Their Dogs are SO UNHAPPY that they want to BITE Persons and they want to BITE other Dogs and they want to BITE the Chairs and Doors. My Person will show these Persons how to be Alpha Wolves which will make their Dogs more Happy.

I am a very Happy Dog. Marmite is a very Happy Dog. Monty the Mont is a very Happy Dog at Home. He's not always a very Happy Dog when he's OUT when there are other Dogs because he's On the Defensive. He doesn't Bite them but he sometimes GROWLS. And he's a Very UNHAPPY Dog if he's left all by himself in the Car.

But Monty the Mont is Getting Much Better. Person says that it takes some Dogs quite a Long Time to give up the BURDEN of trying to be an Alpha Wolf and thinking that they have to do all the Worrying about Everything.

Anyway, Me - I can't be bothered with all that! Too much Responsibility for me! Just so long as Marmite and Monty the Mont realise that I must always be IN FRONT of them, I'm Happy.

I have to keep showing Monty the Mont who is really the Boss. He thinks he is - ha ha!

Golf

Sometimes He-Person says "I'm Going Out to Hit Some Balls".

He is talking about something called Golf.

This is another Strange thing Persons do. It is part of SPORT. (My She-Person Isn't Interested in Sport). He-Person watches Football on TV. In Football you play with a Ball you can't HAVE. He-Person loves Rugby best of all. Rugby uses a funny ball that doesn't roll straight. Rugby is better than Football because you can HAVE the Ball sometimes.

I would like the SCRUM. So would Monty the Mont and so would Marmite. We do SCRUMS in our Field.

But Golf!

Golf Balls are Very Very Small. Golf Balls are Dangerous to Dogs. To Play Golf Persons have bags on wheels which they pull along. There are Sticks in the bags with wheels. Golf Persons carry little Golf Balls in their pockets. They Walk round a special Golf Field talking to each other. Golf Fields are very Tidy.They have little Holes in them and Sand Pits.

Now and then Golf Persons just STOP and one Golf Person puts a little Ball very carefully on the ground. He looks at the Ball. He chooses the best stick - are the sticks all different? He looks away in the distance. He looks at the BALL again. Then he HITS the Ball. Then the other Persons copy him.

Then they go back to Walking and Talking. I have never seen Persons who do Golf having a Scrum.

Dogs are not allowed in Fields where Persons Play Golf. I would like to Dig more HOLES. Monty the Mont would help me and so would Marmite. We could Hunt for Lost Balls. We could SCRUM in the Sand Pits.



Yesterday evening Monty was lying in My place next to Person on the sofa. I asked and asked him to get off. I even tried biting his nose. He IGNORED me. Is he copying Person by IGNORING me?

Anyway, I just pushed in next to him and in the end he got off.

She-Person going OUT

Tomorrow She-Person is going OUT again All Day and All Evening. (She is Going OUT a lot just now).

He-Person will be here.

When I am Biting Marmite's Ear He-Person SHOUTS at me from a Long Way Away PACK IT IN. I pretend I don't hear him. He SHOUTS at all of us from a Long Way Away when we BARK at Dogs going past the end of our Field. HEY, PACK IT IN! PIP? MARMITE? MONTY? PACK IT IN. He always SHOUTS at me first because Everything is always My Fault. Anyway, that's what he thinks. He always SHOUTS at Monty the Mont last, because Monty is his Favourite. There might be a lot of SHOUTING tomorrow when She-Person is OUT.

She-Person isn't doing CANINE COMMUNICATION tomorrow. She is WALKING ON FIRE instead. Perhaps. I couldn't Walk, Run, Chase and Hunt with Burnt Feet. Person would have to carry me. I would need to go to the Vet, like I did when I had my Wound. Who will carry Person if she has Burnt Feet?





Here I am, trying to make Monty the Mont PLAY with me.

Ghost Train

She-Person's Third-Born is called Paul. I've not told you about Paul yet because Paul is NOT FOND of Dogs. He's not even FOND of me! I like Paul though. I don't Bite him. I never Bite Persons. Nor does Monty the Mont and nor does Marmite.

We are all FOND of Persons.

Paul is Very Clever. He is an IT Consultant. My Person says IT is INFORMATION Technology.

I receive INFORMATION by SNIFFING, and I leave INFORMATION for other Dogs so they can SNIFF about me. When I leave INFORMATION in the field, Monty the Mont leaves some INFORMATION in the same place, and so does Marmite. We all leave lots of INFORMATION when we are out on a Walk or a Run in the Big Field.

I can do INFORMATION without Technology. So can Monty the Mont and so can Marmite. Perhaps INFORMATION is what Person will be finding out on her Canine Communication Course.

We live in an Old Train Station. A long time ago Trains used to Stop OUTSIDE. Persons got On and Off Trains. I know what Trains are because, sometimes, on a Dark and Windy Night a GHOST TRAIN passes through. It leaves INFORMATION. It leaves a Sooty smell behind.

It's HALLOWE'EN tonight. SPOOOOOOOKY