The Hunt

Person says she is now going to make Walking the Dogs a Pleasure.

I'm not quite sure what Person means. As soon as I think I'm going out for a Walk I get very excited. I find it a Pleasure already.

She's still practising all this Understanding Dogs stuff on us.

So I went for two Little Walks yesterday. Marmite went for two Little Walks yesterday. Monty the Mont nearly didn't get even one Little Walk yesterday. As soon as Person picked up his lead he started to Prance About. So she just put it down again and took Me or Marmite instead.

They were very STRANGE Walks. It took a Very Long Time to go a Very Short Distance. Person kept saying something about THE HUNT and because she's pretending to be an Alpha Wolf she LEADS THE HUNT.

Just as I was thinking 'Ah I know where we are going' Person stopped and turned around and Walked in a different direction.

It took a Long Time to get as far as the corner at the bottom of the road. Each time I felt the collar tighten around my neck Person just Stopped! She didn't speak. She didn't jerk the lead. She just STOPPED.

Then she Started again and Changed Direction again.

We're not going to get anywhere or HUNT anything, let alone Elk, if we keep turning around.

Monty the Mont didn't even get out of the drive on his First Walk. Person just kept going in different directions until Monty the Mont was walking next to her with a loose lead.

Anyway, we never PULL to Get in Front on the way back Home. Person says it's because we know the HUNT is over.

HUNT? What HUNT?

















PS. If we Jump Up at the Window Person won't let us IN now.

Tobi from Costa Rica

Here are two pictures of My Friend Tobi from Costa Rica, who writes to me in my Blog.

Persons went out to Talk Talk Eat and Drink with Neighbours-from-Heaven yesterday evening.

I only did one naughty thing while Persons were out. I chewed up a Spoon. I didn't jump onto the piano and Break a Vase this time.

My Person Talked to Neighbours-From-Heaven about Wolves and being a Dog Listener. (They did warn her on the Canine Communication Course about becoming a Jan Fennell Bore).

Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication

Person came home yesterday evening with a 'Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication'.

I had not seen Person for Three Whole Days, nor had Marmite and nor had Monty the Mont. She had not see US for three whole days either.

And do you know what? Person came in the door and she IGNORED US!

(I did hear Person saying she was very very pleased with us because we didn't jump around her. We sniffed her (she smelt of Jan Fennells spaniels) and we followed her about but we didn't get excited.

Anyway, soon Person called us to her and made a fuss of us and put our collars on.

Collars on? We're going out somewhere?

Well, she put my collar on and she put Marmite's collar on, but Monty the Mont started to Prance About, so she didn't put Monty the Mont's collar on. She went and sat down at her computer instead.

She then called Monty the Mont to her again and he was quiet while she put on his collar.

Person next fetched our leads but Monty the Mont had forgotten something! He started jumping about and Person put his lead away again. I had to wait in the car and so did Marmite. Then Monty the Mont too came out to the car nice and quietly.

Persons then took us out to the Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) Christmas Party.

Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication????

Well, I'll tell you about the Christmas Party tomorrow!

Here is a picture of my Person and the other new Dog Listeners. Tony who Taught them all is fourth from the left.

Happy Dogs

Person is getting ready to Go Away next week for Three Whole Days.

She should then have a Certificate in Canine Communication and How to be a Dog Listener from Jan Fennell.

Person can then visit the homes of Persons whose Dogs are UNHAPPY. Their Dogs are SO UNHAPPY that they want to BITE Persons and they want to BITE other Dogs and they want to BITE the Chairs and Doors. My Person will show these Persons how to be Alpha Wolves which will make their Dogs more Happy.

I am a very Happy Dog. Marmite is a very Happy Dog. Monty the Mont is a very Happy Dog at Home. He's not always a very Happy Dog when he's OUT when there are other Dogs because he's On the Defensive. He doesn't Bite them but he sometimes GROWLS. And he's a Very UNHAPPY Dog if he's left all by himself in the Car.

But Monty the Mont is Getting Much Better. Person says that it takes some Dogs quite a Long Time to give up the BURDEN of trying to be an Alpha Wolf and thinking that they have to do all the Worrying about Everything.

Anyway, Me - I can't be bothered with all that! Too much Responsibility for me! Just so long as Marmite and Monty the Mont realise that I must always be IN FRONT of them, I'm Happy.

I have to keep showing Monty the Mont who is really the Boss. He thinks he is - ha ha!

My Nose

We had another Visitor yesterday. It was Brian-Person.

My Person is still doing her Dog Listening and pretending she is an Alpha Wolf. I heard her saying to Brian outside the door PLEASE IGNORE THE DOGS until they Settle Down.

But Brian Loves Dogs. He tried to IGNORE us, but when I pushed my nose into his hand he gave me a little private fuss. I didn't Jump Up once! Nor did Monty the Mont and nor did Marmite. Person didn't have to put us OUTSIDE.

Granny-Person was here as well. Even she said we were Very Good Dogs and Very Calm when a Visitor came and Granny-Person Doesn't really Like Dogs. Not even me. She doesn't like my wet cold Nose.

Anyway, my Person loves my wet cold Nose. Don't tell her, but I am GETTING THE MESSAGE. And don't tell her, but I really Quite Like my Persons being Alpha Wolves. So does Monty the Mont and so does Marmite.

Dog Listener

There is no Dog Training (Person Training) Class this week so I shan't see Minto. Meanwhile Person is practising being a Dog Listener.

We are not going Out for any Walks or Runs or Hunts or Sniffs or Classes until we know who is really Leader of the Pack and until we have Got THE MESSAGE in our own territory.

This is the third day after Person did Dog Listening. Person is doing STRANGE things. We are Getting THE MESSAGE.

Person eats before we do while we watch her. She calls this 'Gesture Eating'.

Person goes through the door to OUTSIDE first when she sends us OUT. She only lets us IN when I am not jumping on the door making my sad noises, and when Monty the Mont isn't crashing against the door squeeking, and when Marmite isn't giving her little barks. Person lets us all IN together when Person feels like it.

I don't have to WORRY about anything.

Even Monty the Mont is Happy to Play with us in the Field. He doesn't WORRY so much about going back to Look After the Persons. They can Look After themselves. They can Look After us.

Dog Listeners use very Kind Voices. No Cross Voices. No Shouting. Everything is Very CALM in the house. Even Monty the Mont is more CALM.

I don't need to Jump Up any more. Marmite doesn't need to Jump Up any more. Monty the Mont still Prances and Jumps Up sometimes. When Monty the Mont Jumps Up and Prances Person turns her back on him and IGNORES him. She then calls her to him and if he doesn't Jump Up she makes a big fuss of him. If he Jumps Up she IGNORES him again.

Monty the Mont is beginning to Get THE MESSAGE too.

Anyway, He-Person is happy because Marmite doesn't Jump onto him any more when he is sitting on the sofa trying to watch Sport on TV, to Lick and Lick and Wag and Wag her tail.

Alpha Wolf makes the Decisions

In just one single evening alone Person got up and Opened and Shut the Door for us TWENTY-SEVEN TIMES. She counted. The only Door to OUTSIDE is in the Sitting Room where Persons Sit all the time.

Person is 'Gaining Control of the Door'. Person is Practising being and Alpha Wolf.

Since Person came back from doing Canine Communication and Wolves at Jan Fennell's farm things have been DIFFERENT. Things are also very QUIET. Jan Fennell has Eleven Spaniels and Two Utonagans. Utonagans look just like Wolves but they are not Wild. The dogs don't make a fuss of Persons. They are PEACEFUL Dogs.

In our House it used to happen like this. Marmite would carry on making her funny Grimbling noise from where she was lying until Person couldn't stand it any longer. Person would Open the door to let her OUT and then Close it again. (Person doesn't just leave the door open because it's too cold for her). Then I would need to see what Marmite was doing so I make my sad little noise until Person would get up, Open the door for me, then Close it again. A few minutes later Monty the Mont would think that he had better be OUT with Us so he squeeked to go OUT. Person would get up and Open then Close the door for Monty the Mont.

Then we would all want to come back IN.

Monty the Mont always wants to come back IN first. He needs to make sure that Persons haven't gone away anywhere without him. The I want to come IN a bit later, to keep an eye on Monty the Mont. Marmite likes being outside and Marmite doesn't care much where I am or where Monty the Mont is or even where Persons are, so Marmite comes IN last.

A little while ago Persons had to get a new Handle for the Door because the old one fell off.

This is why Person is Gaining Control of the Door. She says that the Alpha Wolf decides where the pack goes and when. The Alpha Wolf makes the DECISIONS. And Persons are the Alpha Wolves. I am not an Alpha Wolf. Nor is Monty the Mont and certainly not Marmite.

So, Person is now deciding when we go OUT. Person is now deciding when we come back IN again. If one of us goes OUT we all go OUT. If one of us comes IN we all come IN. We have to WAIT. This way Person Opens then Closes the door once instead of three times.

That is the idea anyway.

Unfortunately yesterday afternoon Marmite spoilt it all. Marmite was Not Very Well, just like I Wasn't Very Well last week. So yesterday Marmite asked to go out lots of times. Marmite always makes lots of grimbling noises for a long time until she is let OUT. Person tried IGNORING her.

That was not a good idea. Person hadn't realised that Marmite Wasn't Very Well.

This picture is when I was very little and Marmite and Monty the Mont were looking after me.

Ignoring us

WELL!

My Person was Away from Home doing Canine Communication for TWO WHOLE DAYS. She has never been Away from Home at Night Time before - not since she has had me. And when she came Back Home after all that time away she IGNORED ME. I thought she was finding out that Dogs were really Wolves. She smelt of Spaniels not Wolves.

Something STRANGE is happening.

We were EXCITED to see her, but when Monty the Mont jumped up at her she just turned her back on him and IGNORED HIM. It was because we were so Excited and she was IGNORING US that we started to Scrap with each other instead. We aren't allowed to Scrap in the House.

Person didn't shout OUT like she usually does. She quietly walked OUTSIDE and we quietly followed. Then she left us OUTSIDE.

STRANGE.

We soon jumped up at the door and cried to come in but she IGNORED US. She only let us in when we stopped making a fuss. She calls it Gaining Control of the Door. I knew I was right to feel suspicious about this Canine Communication stuff.

Person had only been Home for a little while when both Persons went to Neighbours-From-Heaven to Eat and Talk and Drink and they left us Alone.

I know Person is showing us WHO is really LEADER of the PACK and it's not me. Nor is it Monty the Mont. Nor is it Marmite.

So while I still had a chance I climbed up onto the chair and onto the piano to get the Toy Fluffy Dog. The Vase crashed to the floor.

When they came home Persons weren't Cross with me.

It was even worse. Persons IGNORED ME. She-Person cleared up the mess. She called Monty the Mont and Cuddled him. She called Marmite and she Cuddled her. She didn't call me. She IGNORED ME. She didn't Cuddle me.

STRANGE.

This morning Breakfast was DIFFERENT too. Person put our three bowls on the table. She also put a bowl for HERSELF on the table. Very STRANGE.

We watched her carefully. We watched everything she was doing. She measured Monty the Mont's food into his bowl. She measured Marmite's food into her bowl - a bit less because Marmite is too fat. She then measured my food into my bowl. She then ATE SOMETHING FROM HER OWN BOWL and she IGNORED US! (Hmm. I think Person is making some sort of point here).

We watched very carefully. When Person had finished her Eating she called Marmite and put Marmite's bowl down. She then called Monty the Mont and she put his bowl down. She then called Pip and she put my bowl down. Then she went away and left us.

For some reason I thought I had better not eat Slowly this time to tease Monty the Mont. I ate Quickly. As soon as we had finished Person took our bowls away.

Then Person called me to her and she gave me a Cuddle. It seemed a specially nice Cuddle to me. I felt SAFE.

Still Sick

I didn't do Person Training yesterday. Monty the Mont did Training and so did Marmite, but I had to go back to the car.

I was in the Top Class for the first time. This isn't because I am better than Marmite, it's because He-Person who is Marmite's Handler at Person Training can't do the Top Class. He has to do something called Going to Work.

In the Top Class I said Hello to some of the Dogs because I hadn't met them before. Then I started to walk to Heel. Then Linsey-Trainer-Person said 'Tell your Dog to SIT. I heard her so I SAT (my-Person-Handler then said SIT but I was already Sitting). Then she said 'Forward' and I walked to Heel again. Then I stopped. Then I was Sick. On the Floor. It was some Grass that I had been eating. So Person took me back to the car.

She said it wasn't a very good start in the Top Class.

Person is going away this weekend on the Canine Communication course to UNDERSTAND DOGS. I don't want her to GO AWAY. I don't really want her to UNDERSTAND DOGS.

So perhaps if I keep eating Grass and if I don't eat my food and if Grass makes me Sick then Person will Stay at Home.

Click here if you would like to see my 'Pleeeeeeease Let Me OUT' video again.


Here is a picture of our Field. You can see the steps leading up to our garden. You can see the Old Station House behind and the window is where Artist and Sue-Person, our Neighbours From Heaven live. On the left is where Guy-Person who didn't get burnt on Bonfire Night lives.

You can just see where I live with Monty the Mont and Marmite, behind the wall.

Tom Tom

Person has Tom Tom. That's why she didn't get lost when she went to Walk on Fire on Bonfire Night. Tom Tom told her Where To Go. (She won't let He-Person tell her Where to Go). Tom Tom is always Very Patient and always Very Polite and always Very Kind. Tom Tom is always CORRECT. Tom Tom never gets Cross if Person goes wrong.

Sue-Person-Neighbour-From-Heaven's Third Born is called Tom. When he was little she called him Tom Tom. Perhaps she still calls him Tom Tom. I wonder if her Tom Tom tells Sue-Person Where to Go?

Persons didn't call me Pip Pip when I was little. Person only calls PIP PIP PIP PIP PIP when she wants me to COME very quickly. You will like to see another picture of me when I was little.

My Person's Tom Tom sounds like a He-Person. But 'it' can also sound like a She-Person! Confusing. Dogs are either DOGS or BITCHES. Tom Tom may be a Cross Dresser but he's not a Cross Navigator. Tom Tom's a very Patient Navigator and there are never any Arguments with Tom Tom navigating.

Person is going to Gainsborough to learn Canine Communication soon. Marmite can teach her to Grimble, Monty the Mont can teach her to Bark and I can teach her to make Little Sad Noises. She will take Tom Tom to show her Where to Go and Tom Tom will look after her. She won't need me or Monty the Mont or Marmite to look after her.

I hope she doesn't learn to Understand us too well.

She-Person going OUT

Tomorrow She-Person is going OUT again All Day and All Evening. (She is Going OUT a lot just now).

He-Person will be here.

When I am Biting Marmite's Ear He-Person SHOUTS at me from a Long Way Away PACK IT IN. I pretend I don't hear him. He SHOUTS at all of us from a Long Way Away when we BARK at Dogs going past the end of our Field. HEY, PACK IT IN! PIP? MARMITE? MONTY? PACK IT IN. He always SHOUTS at me first because Everything is always My Fault. Anyway, that's what he thinks. He always SHOUTS at Monty the Mont last, because Monty is his Favourite. There might be a lot of SHOUTING tomorrow when She-Person is OUT.

She-Person isn't doing CANINE COMMUNICATION tomorrow. She is WALKING ON FIRE instead. Perhaps. I couldn't Walk, Run, Chase and Hunt with Burnt Feet. Person would have to carry me. I would need to go to the Vet, like I did when I had my Wound. Who will carry Person if she has Burnt Feet?





Here I am, trying to make Monty the Mont PLAY with me.

Grapes

Marmite was OUTSIDE for a long time by Herself.

She had found the Grapes and she had eaten all the ones on the ground. She couldn't Reach the Grapes that hadn't dropped on the ground because her Legs are too Short.

Monty the Mont could Reach the Grapes because he is taller. He likes Grapes too.

I don't like Grapes. But I can reach HIGHER. I can pull off twigs with Grapes and drop them on the ground for Marmite and Monty the Mont.

He-Person says HE'S A TRICK, THAT PIPPIE.

(Perhaps when Person has done her Canine Communication Course she will UNDERSTAND that it's NATURAL for Dogs to pull bits off plants and trees. Like I did with the little Olive Tree yesterday).

At last Linsey-Trainer let us do STOPs at Person Training yesterday. I did STOP Perfectly. Marmite was OK but not as good as me. She doesn't wait for the COME because she knows there might be a Treat on the Bed where she has to STOP.

Monty the Mont didn't do STOP because he his still in the Bottom Class. He was a Very Very Good Dog last week doing everything off lead, but he was NOT a Very Good Dog yesterday. There were more other dogs in his Class and there was a new puppy. It made him Prance About and Not Concentrate.

Anyway, next week we are MOVING UP CLASSES. I shall go into the very TOP CLASS!

Monty the Mont and Marmite will go into the Middle Class together. But Monty keeps trying to go to talk to Marmite. When Marmite is in the same Class as me I IGNORE her. Marmite takes No Notice of Monty the Mont. Marmite takes No Notice of me. Marmite doesn't take much Notice of anything, really.

Will Minto come to the Top Class with me? Minto is a Very Good Dog at Training. Except when she's off lead when she comes to see me and she lies on her back. I love Minto. Person says she is Wanton.

Flaming Marmite

I have been That BLOODY PIP again. While Person was doing Tea or Coffee with Sue-Person next door I pulled bits off the baby olive tree so now it has a cage around it. (He-Person calles Marmite That FLAMING MARMITE when she keeps asking to go OUT then IN then OUT then IN making her Grimbling noise to go out and little yaps to come back in. He-Person calls Monty the Mont MONTY. Not Bloody Monty or Flaming Monty. Monty is his favourite, you see).

Person is going on a Course very soon. It is called a Canine Communication Course and is run by someone called Jan Fennell who does DOG LISTENING. It's because I am really a WOLF and I must be UNDERSTOOD better. So must Marmite and so must Monty the Mont. I like the sound of that.

Person will then UNDERSTAND that I don't want to do DOWN sometimes. She will UNDERSTAND that Digging is GOOD.

We have Person Training today. We have been Practising at Home. We have had lots of Treats.

PS. I haven't told you about my Wound for a long time. My hair has nearly grown all around it but there is a SCAR left to see.

PS. Mary-Contrary-Person's Dog called Nellie the Collie who lives with Robin the Golden Labrador is still not very well. She had an Operation. She is a Very Old Dog.