Cadbury

My Person went to see a Chocolate Labrador today. He is called Cadbury. At first Person Ignored Cadbury because she is a Dog Listener. Then she taught him to Walk Nicely next to her. He had never Walked Nicely next to a Person before.

I don't Always Walk Nicely next to Person. So she STOPS. Then she Changes Direction. Marmite doesn't always walk Nicely next to Person. Monty the Mont doesn't always Walk Nicely next to Person either. Monty likes to LUNGE at the telegraph pole.

Cadbury is smaller than Marmite. And THINNER.

My Person went to a Wedding yesterday. Neighbour-From-Heaven's First-Born called Vicky was Getting Married.

Getting Married is something Persons do. They are meant to Get Married and Live Happily Ever After, then they can make Baby Persons.

Ole is a Daddy but he didn't get Married before helping to make Baby Dogs.

Anyway, I can't help to make Baby Dogs because I have had The Operation. Can I still get to Live Happily Ever After though?

Here is a picture of Cadbury with Dollar who is a Jack Russell.

Springer Spaniel

My Person Dig Dog Listening with a Spaniel today. It was a Springer Spaniel.

She is called Zebedee because she is Springy. Zebedee is Ten Months Old.

And here is a picture of Zebedee being IGNORED.

Squeaky Toys

On the Sofa? ME?

Neighbours from Heaven gave us Squeaky Toys with Spots for Christmas.

Today we Played with our Squeaky Toys with Spots until Marmite KILLED hers so it didn't Squeak any more.

Then Persons put away the two Squeaky Toys with Spots and the Dead Toy which didn't Squeak any more.

I Liked Christmas and I Liked BOXING Day. I like it when different Persons come to see us.

When Persons came they mostly IGNORED us though. Sometimes, just when I was Ignoring them and I had settled down for a quiet Doze they would call me over for a Cuddle and a Fuss.

Monty the Mont was called over for a Cuddles and a Fusses and so was Marmite. Then we all wanted Fusses and Cuddles at the same time. We got too Excited so we went OUTSIDE.

I Don't Understand Persons.

Anyway, we were Very Good Dogs really.

Boxing Day

It was Christmas Day yesterday.

It's Boxing Day today. BOXING Day?

I had Presents yesterday. I had a Stuffed Bone. Monty the Mont had a Stuffed Bone and so did Marmite.

I had a Squeaky Toy but Person takes it away from me because I always try to kill Squeaky Toys and then they don't Squeak any more. When we all have Squeaky Toys it's Very NOISY.

I carried balls made of of Wrapping Paper about. So did Marmite and so did Monty the Mont. I like balls made of Wrapping Paper.

We had Ten Persons at our house yesterday. In the evening Artist and Sue-Person Neighbours From Heaven came to our house with Tim and Tom. Persons were all Very NOISY. More Noisy than me and Monty the Mont and Marmite with Squeaky Toys.

And all the Persons DRANK a lot. The drink smelt funny and it made me blink.

I Nudged, and I Leant Against and I Pawed and I lay on my Back to GET ATTENTION. So did Marmite and so did Monty the Mont. This was to make Tim and Tom and Artist and Sue-Person make a Fuss of us and Play with us. And for a little while it Worked! But this is NOT ALLOWED. So my Person put us OUTSIDE and when we came back IN we had to go to our Beds.

From my Bed I looked at Neighbours-from-Heaven with my Sad Look so that they would think my Person was Cruel.

All the Persons LAUGHED a lot. They did something called a Quiz. They did More DRINKING.

When Artist Person stood up to go back home I thought he might Fall Over but Sue-Person caught him in time.

It took a long time for Artist-Next-Door to find the hole to put his key in so he could open his front door so they could all get into their house. All the Persons were LAUGHING a lot. Artist was LAUGHING a lot as well.

Persons can be CONFUSING at times.

Anyway, today Person is taking Sarah Bear home to London. Then it will just be He-Person here with Me, Monty the Mont and Marmite.

So, it's BOXING Day today. I think it may be SOFA Day too. It will be FOOTBALL Day. He-Person will watch Football on TV VERY LOUD because my Person will be away in London.

Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication

Person came home yesterday evening with a 'Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication'.

I had not seen Person for Three Whole Days, nor had Marmite and nor had Monty the Mont. She had not see US for three whole days either.

And do you know what? Person came in the door and she IGNORED US!

(I did hear Person saying she was very very pleased with us because we didn't jump around her. We sniffed her (she smelt of Jan Fennells spaniels) and we followed her about but we didn't get excited.

Anyway, soon Person called us to her and made a fuss of us and put our collars on.

Collars on? We're going out somewhere?

Well, she put my collar on and she put Marmite's collar on, but Monty the Mont started to Prance About, so she didn't put Monty the Mont's collar on. She went and sat down at her computer instead.

She then called Monty the Mont to her again and he was quiet while she put on his collar.

Person next fetched our leads but Monty the Mont had forgotten something! He started jumping about and Person put his lead away again. I had to wait in the car and so did Marmite. Then Monty the Mont too came out to the car nice and quietly.

Persons then took us out to the Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) Christmas Party.

Certificate of Advanced Canine Communication????

Well, I'll tell you about the Christmas Party tomorrow!

Here is a picture of my Person and the other new Dog Listeners. Tony who Taught them all is fourth from the left.

Elk

Alpha Wolves always Eat FIRST while all the other Wolves WAIT.

Person is still pretending to be an Alpha Wolf. She Eats a Biscuit before she puts our Bowls down. It's called Gesture Eating.

Person doesn't look at us while she Eats her Biscuit. But we Look at her. We Watch as she takes each SLOW Bite from her Biscuit. She IGNORES us (or she Pretends to). Marmite DROOLS.

This afternoon I thought "I'm not going to play Person's Game this time" so I IGNORED her.

I Sniffed about while Person did Gesture Eating with her Biscuit. I IGNORED her. I Sniffed to see if she had dropped any Bits of Dry Dog Food under the table.

Anyway, Real Wolves don't eat Bits of Dry Dog Food. Certainly not a BISCUIT! Real Alpha Wolves HUNT and KILL animals like Elks and they Eat the Warm and Bloody Flesh. AFTER the Real Alpha Wolves are FULL UP and Fat with Warm and Bloody Elk flesh they let the other Wolves Eat.

At Tea time today when Person put my Bowl down I pretended I was still looking for dropped Dry Dog Food under the table.

Monty the Mont finished all his Tea. Marmite finished her Tea. I did NOT Eat any of my Tea.

So, Person picked up Monty the Mont's Empty Bowl, Marmite's Empty bowl and my FULL Bowl and she took them away. I would have Eaten Elk with Warm and Bloody Flesh.

Last time I played this Game Person gave me my Tea a bit later. By myself. She made a fuss of me. I liked that.

Not this time. She is going to make me WAIT until Breakfast tomorrow.

No More Sofa

These Pictures show you WHAT'S HAPPENED.

...................................................................

She Person is going away for Three Whole Days next week. She is going to finish her Dog Listening Course at Jan Fennell's Farmhouse. Jan Fennell has Eleven Spaniels.

I think Person has already learnt a bit too much about UNDERSTANDING DOGS.

He-Person will look after us while she is Away.

Will He-Person be Alpha Wolf while Person is Away? Will he do Gesture Eating before putting our Bowls down? Will he pick up our Bowls as soon as we have finished? Will he IGNORE us when he comes in? Will he Keep Control of the Door to OUTSIDE?

While He-Person is busy Watching Sport on TV VERY LOUD will I be able to Creep back onto the Sofa again? Will Marmite? Will Monty the Mont who is really He-Person's Favourite?

Oh oh oh oh oh!

Oh oh oh oh oh!

I knew I was right to feel Suspicious when Person went to learn about Dog Listening and being an Alpha Wolf.

I heard Person saying she is going to STOP us from Going On The Sofas. 'By Christmas'.

Mary-Contrary-Person who has Robin and Nellie came to see us yesterday. I was so excited to see her because I know she finds it Very Difficult to IGNORE me like my Person asks her to.

But when I tried to jump up Person put me straight OUTSIDE. When Monty the Mont tried to jump up Person put him straight OUTSIDE. When Marmite tried to jump up Person put Marmite OUTSIDE. She then let us IN again. Very soon we Settled Down on the floor. Marmite Settled Down on the floor first and gave a big SIGH. Then Monty the Mont Settled down and gave a big SIGH. I went to my Bed under Person's Desk and gave a Big SIGH.

Mary-Contrary says she NEVER lets Robin and Nellie go on her Sofa. This is all Mary-Contrary's fault, I think.

Yesterday when it was Very Windy and Very Stormy and Very Muddy I came in and jumped onto the Sofa but for some reason Person pulled me off. Person then Washed and Polished the Sofa.

I wonder HOW Person is going to Stop me from Sleeping on the Sofa. Or Stop Monty the Mont from Sleeping on the Sofa. Or Stop Marmite from Sleeping on the Sofa.

Anyway, we are under her desk just now because it's near to her. It's nice and warm too.

My Nose

We had another Visitor yesterday. It was Brian-Person.

My Person is still doing her Dog Listening and pretending she is an Alpha Wolf. I heard her saying to Brian outside the door PLEASE IGNORE THE DOGS until they Settle Down.

But Brian Loves Dogs. He tried to IGNORE us, but when I pushed my nose into his hand he gave me a little private fuss. I didn't Jump Up once! Nor did Monty the Mont and nor did Marmite. Person didn't have to put us OUTSIDE.

Granny-Person was here as well. Even she said we were Very Good Dogs and Very Calm when a Visitor came and Granny-Person Doesn't really Like Dogs. Not even me. She doesn't like my wet cold Nose.

Anyway, my Person loves my wet cold Nose. Don't tell her, but I am GETTING THE MESSAGE. And don't tell her, but I really Quite Like my Persons being Alpha Wolves. So does Monty the Mont and so does Marmite.

No Breakfast

This morning I didn't have any Breakfast.

We watched Person do her 'Gesture Eating' - she had a cheesy smelling biscuit this morning, and then she put my Bowl down. But I Walked Away from it. I thought - I'm not going to play this Game today. Person then put down Monty the Mont's Bowl and he started Eating immediately. Then she put down Marmite's Bowl and she started Eating immediately too.

So Person just picked up my Bowl and took it away!

OH.

Hannawannah who is Person's Last-Born is here this weekend. She says she notices a Big Difference in me, and in Monty the Mont and in Marmite. I haven't seen Hannawannah for a long time and when she came in she IGNORED me! I nearly jumped up and Person put me straight OUTSIDE. Then Monty the Mont pranced and Person put him OUTSIDE too. Soon she let us in again and we kept our Feet on the Ground.

Some Persons came to Eat, Drink and Talk yesterday. Neighbours-From-Heaven Sue-Person and Artist came, and Brian-Person and Christine-Person as well. Brian and Christine have Toby and Bella and they go to Training Classes. Toby and Bella are Jack Russells and they haven't had their tails Cut Off. (I broke a wine glass with my Tail yesterday. It was on the Low Table). When Brian and Christine came in they tried to ignore us. We all tried to jump up so Person put us straight OUTSIDE.

We stayed OUTSIDE for a long time. We went in our Big Kennel. We were Very Good Dogs.

He-Person hasn't called me THAT BLOODY PIP for Five Days now! He did say FLAMING PIP though when I broke the wine glass which was on the Low Table yesterday.

Anyway, perhaps Person will give me Breakfast back soon.

Once I was so little I could get into the Bird Bath.

Ignoring us

WELL!

My Person was Away from Home doing Canine Communication for TWO WHOLE DAYS. She has never been Away from Home at Night Time before - not since she has had me. And when she came Back Home after all that time away she IGNORED ME. I thought she was finding out that Dogs were really Wolves. She smelt of Spaniels not Wolves.

Something STRANGE is happening.

We were EXCITED to see her, but when Monty the Mont jumped up at her she just turned her back on him and IGNORED HIM. It was because we were so Excited and she was IGNORING US that we started to Scrap with each other instead. We aren't allowed to Scrap in the House.

Person didn't shout OUT like she usually does. She quietly walked OUTSIDE and we quietly followed. Then she left us OUTSIDE.

STRANGE.

We soon jumped up at the door and cried to come in but she IGNORED US. She only let us in when we stopped making a fuss. She calls it Gaining Control of the Door. I knew I was right to feel suspicious about this Canine Communication stuff.

Person had only been Home for a little while when both Persons went to Neighbours-From-Heaven to Eat and Talk and Drink and they left us Alone.

I know Person is showing us WHO is really LEADER of the PACK and it's not me. Nor is it Monty the Mont. Nor is it Marmite.

So while I still had a chance I climbed up onto the chair and onto the piano to get the Toy Fluffy Dog. The Vase crashed to the floor.

When they came home Persons weren't Cross with me.

It was even worse. Persons IGNORED ME. She-Person cleared up the mess. She called Monty the Mont and Cuddled him. She called Marmite and she Cuddled her. She didn't call me. She IGNORED ME. She didn't Cuddle me.

STRANGE.

This morning Breakfast was DIFFERENT too. Person put our three bowls on the table. She also put a bowl for HERSELF on the table. Very STRANGE.

We watched her carefully. We watched everything she was doing. She measured Monty the Mont's food into his bowl. She measured Marmite's food into her bowl - a bit less because Marmite is too fat. She then measured my food into my bowl. She then ATE SOMETHING FROM HER OWN BOWL and she IGNORED US! (Hmm. I think Person is making some sort of point here).

We watched very carefully. When Person had finished her Eating she called Marmite and put Marmite's bowl down. She then called Monty the Mont and she put his bowl down. She then called Pip and she put my bowl down. Then she went away and left us.

For some reason I thought I had better not eat Slowly this time to tease Monty the Mont. I ate Quickly. As soon as we had finished Person took our bowls away.

Then Person called me to her and she gave me a Cuddle. It seemed a specially nice Cuddle to me. I felt SAFE.