Ears

This is Jack. Jack has Very Big Ears for a Little Dog.

Jack was Peeing on the carpet. Jack was Peeing in the kitchen at night. Jack was Peeing in his bed. Jack was Peeing up the cupboards.

Jack Peed a message on Persons' work bag.

Person put her work bag in the washing machine.

Person said she didn't want me, or Little Pickle, or Monty the Mont to start using her work bag as a message board.

Now Person has just heard! Jack hasn't Peed Indoors once since she saw him!

Little Pickle has STRAGGLY Spaniel Ears.

Marmite has FLOPPY Sleepy Labrador Ears. And so does Monty the Mont.

My Ears are FLOPPY.

But I am a Sight Hound. I am also a HEARING Hound.

I MISS NOTHING.

Milly has WIDE AWAKE Ears. Milly is ALERT.

Person went to see Cocoa last week. Cocoa has FLOPPY Labrador Ears like Marmite and Monty the Mont.

Cocoa's Labrador Ears are not SLEEPY Ears. Cocoa's Ears are WORRIED Ears.

Cocoa is Anxious.

Cocoa is Scared of Shiny Floors.

Now Cocoa is learning to be more CONFIDENT.

Then Person went to see Odie.

Odie has FLOPPY Labrador Ears also. Odie's Ears are BOUNCY Ears.

Odie's Ears FLOP Up FLOP Down FLOP Up FLOP Down as Odie JUMPS about.

Odie is now going to learn to BE CALM.

Odie is now learning to stop Jumping About.

Our Marmite is a Chocolate Labrador. Marmite is Lazy.

Poor Marmite has a Heart Condition.

And here is Hamish, with Brora.

Hamish is 6 and a half months old. Little Pickle is 6 and a half months old.

Hamish is a Border Collie.

Whenever a Person gets up or moves, Hamish runs about frantically searching the walls and ceiling for SHADOWS to CHASE.

Before Christmas Hamish had nearly stopped CHASING SHADOWS altogether.

Then... over Christmas.... lots of Persons came to his house.

It was Very Exciting for Hamish. It was Very Stressful for Hamish.

Then someone played the Chasing Reflections game with him.

So now Hamish is CHASING SHADOWS again.

(He should stop again soon because his Persons know what to do now).

Anyway, I am a MEERKAT.

Zac who doesn't sleep at night

Person went to see Zac who DOESN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

Zac Wakes his Person up in The Night. So Zac's Person Doesn't Sleep in The Night either.

Zac lives with Issy.

They are both Chocolate Labradors like Marmite.

My dad was a Labrador. Not a Chocolate Labrador. My dad was Pale Labrador.

Here is Zac sleeping in The Afternoon. His head is on Issy.

Zac Sleeps in The Morning. Zac Sleeps in The Afternoon. Zac Sleeps in The Evening.

But Zac DOESN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

Every night Zac HUFFS and every night Zac WOOFS.

(The Neighbours don't want to hear Zac HUFFING and WOOFING in the Night Time. The Neighbours DO want to Sleep at Night).

Zac's Person has to STOP Zac HUFFING and WOOFING in The Night. Somehow.

Zac's Person is Very Very Very TIRED.

Person had to wake Marmite up to take her picture. (Milly has to be in all photos).

Marmite Sleeps most of The Morning.

Marmite Sleeps most of The Afternoon.

Marmite Sleeps most of The Evening.

Marmite Sleeps at Night.

Marmite does a LOT of Sleeping.

Soon Zac will Sleep at Night. Soon Zac's Person will Sleep at Night too.

Anyway, I have a New High Place to Sleep.

Not to say NO to your dog

Person is trying Something New when she goes out Dog Listening.

She is saying, TRY NOT TO SAY 'NO' to your Dog for Two Whole Weeks.

Person never says 'NO' to me, nor to Monty the Mont nor to Marmite. She does sometimes make a warning noise though, uh-uh, or she may give me a Loooong Look.(He-Person often shouts 'NO' at us though, especially when he is watching Sport on TV and we're trying to Play).

Sasha the Rottie Puppy's Persons are going to TRY NOT TO SAY NO to Sasha. They could call Sasha Come instead and they will say Good Girl if she comes away from the NO thing. Sasha's Persons may gently lead Sasha away from the No thing. But if Sasha won't then come away from the NO thing she will be put somewhere All By Herself for a little while.

Person came home smelling of Chocolate Labrador yesterday. Lola is Chocolate Labrador mixed with something else and she is six months old. Lola has three Child Persons to Play with. I would like to play with Lola. But Lola would never be able to catch me. I am a Streamlined Racing Hound.

Lola's Persons are going to TRY NOT TO SAY 'NO' to Lola, but to call Lola Come instead. They will say Good Girl if she comes away from the No thing. If Lola doesn't come away from the No thing she will be put somewhere All By Herself for a little while.

Anyway, here I am, a Streamlined Sleeping Hound.

Cadbury

My Person went to see a Chocolate Labrador today. He is called Cadbury. At first Person Ignored Cadbury because she is a Dog Listener. Then she taught him to Walk Nicely next to her. He had never Walked Nicely next to a Person before.

I don't Always Walk Nicely next to Person. So she STOPS. Then she Changes Direction. Marmite doesn't always walk Nicely next to Person. Monty the Mont doesn't always Walk Nicely next to Person either. Monty likes to LUNGE at the telegraph pole.

Cadbury is smaller than Marmite. And THINNER.

My Person went to a Wedding yesterday. Neighbour-From-Heaven's First-Born called Vicky was Getting Married.

Getting Married is something Persons do. They are meant to Get Married and Live Happily Ever After, then they can make Baby Persons.

Ole is a Daddy but he didn't get Married before helping to make Baby Dogs.

Anyway, I can't help to make Baby Dogs because I have had The Operation. Can I still get to Live Happily Ever After though?

Here is a picture of Cadbury with Dollar who is a Jack Russell.

Tongues

My Person visited two Chow Chows yesterday. Chow Chows have Black Tongues.

I have a Pink Tongue, Monty the Mont has a Pink Tongue and so does Marmite.

I use my Tongue to lick between Person's Toes.

Person visited two Labradors today. One was the same colour as me and the other was the same colour as Monty the Mont. Person says she would like to have brought them home with her.

I would have liked that and so would Marmite. I don't know about Monty the Mont.

Anyway, there isn't room under Person's desk for any more Labradors.

Chocolate

Chocolate is Bad For Dogs.

Chocolate smells nice.

Hannawannah had Chocolates for Christmas, but she didn't give me one.

Person found out that the first signs of Chocolate Poisoning are Vomiting and Diarrhea, Increased Urination and Nausea. These can progress to Cardiac Arrhythmias and Seizures.

Oh.

Marmite is a Chocolate Labrador. Marmite has quite frequent Urination. She is Chocolate colour but she can't eat Chocolate. If Marmite ate Chocolate she might end up with even more Urination, Cardiac Arrhythmias and Seizures. I wouldn't like that because I love Marmite.

My Person helped at the Rescue Kennels again today. She helped Clean the Kennels out. There was a lot of Urination there.

Anyway, there is good news because Nemo who is Deaf has gone to live with new Persons. He was in his New Home in time for Christmas.

Morbidly Obese, and Hugely and Grossly Overweight

Today in the News there's a Chololate Labrador called Rusty. Rusty is in the News because he is MORBIDLY OBESE.

An RSPCA inspector found Rusty to be HUGELY and GROSSLY overweight so he was Taken Away from his Persons in a Van. That will have made poor Rusty very Sad. My Person feeds Marmite less than she feeds me because Marmite Loves Eating. Marmite could easily get HUGELY and GROSSLY Overwight. I couldn't easily get HUGELY and GROSSLY Overweight because I Eat more than Marmite and I'm always Skinny.

Poor Rusty couldn't Walk even a few steps before having to Sit and he Collapsed if he was Standing for more than a minute or two.

I'm not MORBIDLY OBESE. I'm SKINNY.

Person gives Marmite Less to Eat than she gives me. I wouldn't want Marmite to be Taken Away in a Van. Nor would Monty the Mont. And it would make Marmite very Sad.

Anyway, here is Marmite and I love Marmite just the way she is and Monty the Mont loves Marmite just the way she is. Persons love Marmite just the way she is too. Marmite isn't OBESE, she just has Short Legs.

Ruth

Ruth is Person's Second Born. Ruth lives near San Francisco and she goes on lots of Hikes. I would LOVE HIKES. This is a picture of where she lives. She is on a HIKE and the little winding path in the distance is the way back to her home. She has HIKED all that way. I could Hunt, Run and Chase if I was there with Ruth. (Person doesn't HIKE - she WALKS).

Ruth's HIKE starts off on a trail called Big Dog. It leads up a Mountain. Ruth doesn't find it Hard to Breathe. She is very FIT. So is Sarah Bear. And so am I.

Person isn't FIT and nor is Marmite. Monty the Mont is quite FIT. I think we should all go on HIKES with Ruth. Person says we would have to go on a plane to get there which would mean being Shut in a Cage for a long long time. Just like at the Vet's when I did my Wound.

Both Sarah Bear and Ruth are sort of Artists. We have an Artist next door as well.

I think Person is going to have a rest from Training today. She is Going Out for Lunch with Mary who has Robin the Golden Labrador who had the Hip Operation like Sue-Person-Next-Door. Mary also has a Collie called Nellie. Nellie is very old. She has just had a Tummy Operation at my Vet's where I went with my Wound. I wonder whether Farah got her all Excited and gave her Treats?

David Blunkett's Black Labrador

I heard Persons talking when Neighbours came to Dinner. They were saying that some She-Persons are ALL Covered Up when they go Out - with just a tiny hole to see out of. Nobody can see who is UNDERNEATH so they all look the SAME. (When I go Out for Walks I want all the Persons and Dogs to SEE me so I can say HELLO. I need to be able to Run, Sniff, Chase, Drink and Hunt).

A man called David Blunkett has written a book. He Can't See because he's Blind. David Blunkett has a black Labrador that looks like Monty the Mont (and who looks much the SAME as other black Labradors). She's a Bitch and her name is Sadie and she is a Guide Dog who stops David Blunkett who Can't See from bumping into things. Sadie could tell Who's UNDERNEATH Persons who are ALL covered in Black because she can USE HER NOSE.

She-Persons who are ALL Covered are the SAME as She-Persons who are NOT COVERED At All to David Blunkett - because he can't see anyway!

I am a SIGHT HOUND but I'm also a very good SCENT HOUND. Dogs like me could find out WHO is UNDERNEATH Persons who are ALL covered in Black. I would USE MY NOSE.

I hope Dog-Bitches won't have to go OUT for Walks ALL Covered Up with just Eyes and Feet showing. Marmite wouldn't like that.

Marmite, the chocolate labrador in my pack

I was a Very Lucky Dog my Person keeps saying. The spike went TWO INCHES into me (my Person 'doesn't do' centimetres) and because I'm so skinny it could have been SERIOUS if it had gone in somewhere Vital. All yesterday evening I felt weird, but I woke up this morning ready for the day, wolfed down my breakfast and then it was time for a chase. My Person keeps yelling something about The Stitches.

Marmite is very brown and her legs are quite short for a labrador. I know this because my Person had changed her mind about Marmite having puppies because her legs stopped growing - strange reason. (Anyway, she only wanted Marmite to have puppies so she could call them Bisto, Gravy, Pickle, Bovril and silly names like that).

I love Marmite. I love standing in front of the gate so she won't come through and then she cries. All I am doing is standing there and looking at her! Anyway, she only cries so she can get attention, I know that. She used to stand at the top of the steps crying, pretending she couldn't get down. She likes the Persons encouraging her down saying kind things to her like "Come on down Little Brown Dog".

The other day she pushed her luck a bit too far and cried on the top step three times. She won't do that again! Our Person walked to the top of the steps waving a saucepan and lid. (A few weeks ago Person had actually banged them together LOUDLY and very quickly we all stopped fighting in the house and ran out). Now we know that the saucepan MEANS BUSINESS.

Everyone loves Marmite. At 'Person Training' she is a Very Good Dog. She is very PLACID for a labrador, all apart from one thing that she does. For no reason at all she will jump up onto one of our Persons when they are sitting down watching TV . She then licks and licks and wags and wags her tail and they have to get cross with her to stop her.

(Me - I'm not placid).