Falling Over

I had Writers Block yesterday. I haven't got Writers Block any more because I have something to Write About. Person gave me a Big Stuffed Bone today. She also gave Monty the Mont a Big Stuffed Bone and she gave Marmite a Big Stuffed Bone.

Person gave us Big Stuffed Bones because we had to stay OUTSIDE for Four Whole Hours. We had to stay OUTSIDE because Granny and Granny's Sister came to our house. Granny is 94 Years of Age and Granny's Sister is 91. That is thirteen Years of Age in Dog Years.

I wonder whether I shall live to be thirteen Years of Age.

I had to stay OUTSIDE, Monty the Mont had to Stay OUTSIDE and Marmite had to Stay OUTSIDE. This is not because we might Jump Up. (After Person started playing her Dog Listening games with us we have stopped Jumping Up - nearly). We had to stay OUTSIDE because Granny might Fall Over. Granny's Sister might Fall Over too. They might even Fall Over if we just Walk Past them!

It would be more sensible if Granny had four legs and Granny's Sister had four legs. Then Granny and Granny's Sister would not be so very Wobbly.

Anyway, if Granny and Granny's Sister had four legs then Person would not have given us Big Stuffed Bones to quarrel over OUTSIDE.

Tomorrow my Person is going to visit a Boxer who Pulls so hard on his lead that sometimes his Person Falls Over! I expect Boxer will get some of my Person's Stop Start Change Direction games.

Here are Monty the Mont and Marmite in the Outside kennel with what's left of one of our Big Bones.

Deaf?

Person took me Down the Track for a Walk yesterday all by myself. (She was messing about Changing Direction and all that. Still, I just went along with it).

Person Let me OFF LEAD and I Ran and Ran, I Jumped down the Bank, and I sniffed in Badger Holes.

When Person Called me a Came Back to her Straight Away.

Person took Monty the Mont for a Walk yesterday all by himself. Monty the Mont had to Change Direction more than I did because he was TOO EAGER to get to the Track and he Pulled.

Person let Monty the Mont OFF LEAD and he Ran ahead, then he Ran back to Person, then he Ran ahead, then he Ran back to Person. He kept Stopping to Sniff and to Mark the Spot.

When Person Called him Monty the Mont Came Back to her Straight Away.

Person took Marmite for a Walk yesterday all by herself. Marmite didn't Pull much. She just Waddled along.

Person let Marmite OFF LEAD and she didn't Waddle. She RAN. She Ran ahead. She had her Nose to the Ground and she kept going. (Marmite was Following the Scent of the Staffie I had met on my Walk earlier).

When Person called M A R M I T E, Marmite didn't Come. Marmite was disappearing into the distance, Sniffing.

Person thought OK then and she turned around and started to go back home. She looked over her shoulder but Marmite had disappeared.

Person then did something she tells other people not to do. She turned around and went after Marmite. Person could see Marmite in the distance, wandering back. Marmite had thought she had better see where Person had got to.

So Person Waited.

When Marmite got back to her Person said are you Deaf,Marmite?

When Person and Marmite got back Home, Person said to He-Person I think Marmite is Deaf. He-Person said Rubbish.

Marmite liked eating snow the other day.

The (Nearly) Great Escape

I had just finished making IT large enough for Monty the Mont and Marmite to get THROUGH as well.

IT took me a long time. I had to do IT while Person wasn't looking.

Once THROUGH, Monty the Mont, Marmite and I were going to squeeze behind the shed. Then we would be out the front where the cars are.

We would then go for a Walk without taking Person with us. And we could all go TOGETHER - me, Marmite and Monty the Mont. No Changing Direction all the time. Just Stopping and Sniffing and Marking wherever we like.

I knew Person had DISCOVERED IT when she said to He-Person Pip has made a hole in the fence and they can get out behind the shed. He-Person said stop them then. She-Person said how? He-Person said by telling them. She-Person said are you serious? I heard He-Person muttering anything for a quiet life.

So my Person put Mesh over our Escape Route. She put Mesh behind the Shed also in case I started a new one while she wasn't looking.

Doing Other Things

Person is taking her Dog Listening Very Seriously.

She always Eats something before putting our Bowls down because she thinks she's an Alpha Wolf now. She calls this Gesture Eating.

Alpha Wolf? I wasn't fooled. I told her I wasn't fooled by walking away from my Bowl without eating anything and Doing Other Things. Person then would just take my Bowl away.

Well, Person has now Called My Bluff.

When we are all excited because we think it should be Breakfast Time or Tea Time Person just Does Other Things. She carries on Doing Other Things until we have settled down.

Then some time later when she feels like it Person feeds us. Perhaps she is an Alpha Wolf after all.

And I always Eat my food now. Quickly.

Person is also taking us for Road Walks each day. She takes me all by myself. She takes Marmite by herself and then she takes Monty the Mont all by himself.

Monty the Mont usually goes last because each time Person picks up his lead he starts to Prance and Jump about. So Person just puts the lead back and Does Other Things. Sometimes she has to Do Other Things three or four times before Monty the Mont stops Prancing and goes out Quietly.

Each time I Pull and try to Get Ahead Person just STOPS. Then she Starts Again and Changes Direction. We have now got as far as the house with white gate posts before Person turns around and comes home again. It takes Monty the Mont a long time to get to the house with white gate posts because Person keeps having to Stop and Change Direction.

Monty the Mont usually spoils it all by Lunging at the Telegraph Pole on the corner for a Sniff and to Mark the Spot.

So, another of Person's New Year Resolutions is to have all three of us Walking down the road with her, with Loose Leads and no Pulling or Lunging at Telegraph Poles.

Anyway, it's only Day Three of the New Year and we know what happened to Person's No Sofa Resolution. We know what happened to Person's Eat Only Fruit During the Day and then Sensible Evening Meal Resolution. Will her All Three Dogs Walking Down the Road Together Nicely Resolution actually happen, do you think?

And here are Marmite and Monty the Mont trying to Kill me again.

The Hunt

Person says she is now going to make Walking the Dogs a Pleasure.

I'm not quite sure what Person means. As soon as I think I'm going out for a Walk I get very excited. I find it a Pleasure already.

She's still practising all this Understanding Dogs stuff on us.

So I went for two Little Walks yesterday. Marmite went for two Little Walks yesterday. Monty the Mont nearly didn't get even one Little Walk yesterday. As soon as Person picked up his lead he started to Prance About. So she just put it down again and took Me or Marmite instead.

They were very STRANGE Walks. It took a Very Long Time to go a Very Short Distance. Person kept saying something about THE HUNT and because she's pretending to be an Alpha Wolf she LEADS THE HUNT.

Just as I was thinking 'Ah I know where we are going' Person stopped and turned around and Walked in a different direction.

It took a Long Time to get as far as the corner at the bottom of the road. Each time I felt the collar tighten around my neck Person just Stopped! She didn't speak. She didn't jerk the lead. She just STOPPED.

Then she Started again and Changed Direction again.

We're not going to get anywhere or HUNT anything, let alone Elk, if we keep turning around.

Monty the Mont didn't even get out of the drive on his First Walk. Person just kept going in different directions until Monty the Mont was walking next to her with a loose lead.

Anyway, we never PULL to Get in Front on the way back Home. Person says it's because we know the HUNT is over.

HUNT? What HUNT?

















PS. If we Jump Up at the Window Person won't let us IN now.

A Message from my Person

Person is still away but she has sent me a message.

Person says she has had Two Days learning how to be a Jan Fennell Dog Listener and she's having a Very Interesting Time and a Very Good Time.

A Very Good Time without Me?

Jan Fennell's son is called Tony Dog Listener. He has been Teaching my Person. This means no more playing Food Games for me or she will pick up my bowl straight away. No more fussing for Marmite when Person calls her and she just stays in bed looking lovely. No more Walks for Monty the Mont while he still Prances About at the door or Lunges.

Persons says she now Understands us even Better (oh dear) and we will be even MORE Happy than before. How can that be?

Person says she will now be Understanding Other People's Dogs too.

Person also tells me she has been doing Role Play. I hope she does some Role Play with me. I would like that. I like Playing and I like Rolls.

Digging

When Person was doing Tea or Coffee at Sue-Person-Neighbour-From-Heaven's yesterday, we worked on a Big New HOLE. He-Person found it. That BLOODY PIP has been DIGGING again.

Our new HOLE is in the corner of our field, by the fence. On the other side of our fence is a Cycle Track. This is where Trains once used to go. Not only Persons on Cycles go on it. People RUN there (I love Running), and people who WALK as well - and LOTS of DOGS. We always BARK at the Dogs to let them know that this is OUR TERRITORY. Monty the Mont BARKS the most.

Here is a picture of me on the table, HIGH UP. I can SEE right down the Cycle Track from here. I can see Persons and DOGS. I am a SIGHT Hound.

We have tried to DIG OUT under the fence before. Persons don't always find our HOLES. Once we did DIG OUT. Marmite squeezed through the HOLE because she has short legs. She went for a Walk and Sniff down the Cycle Track by herself. I squeezed through the HOLE because I'm Skinny. I explored the Farmer's Field but thought I'd better not go away too far. Monty the Mont didn't GET OUT. He was too big for our HOLE.

Today Monty the Mont is LIMPING. He has a Sore Front Paw. I know how he got that sore Front Paw! DIGGING. (I haven't got a Sore Front Paw).

Person has covered our HOLE now and says she will put Concrete in it today. Person likes Concrete.

Ruth

Ruth is Person's Second Born. Ruth lives near San Francisco and she goes on lots of Hikes. I would LOVE HIKES. This is a picture of where she lives. She is on a HIKE and the little winding path in the distance is the way back to her home. She has HIKED all that way. I could Hunt, Run and Chase if I was there with Ruth. (Person doesn't HIKE - she WALKS).

Ruth's HIKE starts off on a trail called Big Dog. It leads up a Mountain. Ruth doesn't find it Hard to Breathe. She is very FIT. So is Sarah Bear. And so am I.

Person isn't FIT and nor is Marmite. Monty the Mont is quite FIT. I think we should all go on HIKES with Ruth. Person says we would have to go on a plane to get there which would mean being Shut in a Cage for a long long time. Just like at the Vet's when I did my Wound.

Both Sarah Bear and Ruth are sort of Artists. We have an Artist next door as well.

I think Person is going to have a rest from Training today. She is Going Out for Lunch with Mary who has Robin the Golden Labrador who had the Hip Operation like Sue-Person-Next-Door. Mary also has a Collie called Nellie. Nellie is very old. She has just had a Tummy Operation at my Vet's where I went with my Wound. I wonder whether Farah got her all Excited and gave her Treats?

Sarah Bear

Sarah-Bear is Person's daughter and she is the First Born. She has just come back from Walking the Inca Trail. It wasn't like WALKS that I go on. It was Mountains and Ruins. She says it was So High Up that it was Hard to Breathe and one Person had Altitude Sickness and had to go home.

I would like a WALK on the Inca Trail. I wouldn't get Altitude Sickness and my Wound is nearly gone now.

I like being High Up. If I stand on the bench at the end of our garden I am High Up. I don't find it Hard to Breathe. I can look out over the fields. I can see a LONG WAY because I am a SIGHT HOUND. There is a Pheasant in the Far Field but I can't get out to chase it.

Person's Second Born is Ruth. Ruth does a lot of Walking too - she calls it Hiking. Person doesn't seem to do Hiking. I shall tell you about Ruth soon.

Run Sniff Chase Hunt

Yesterday Persons took us in the car to the Big Field. This is our first Run Sniff Chase Hunt since I did my Wound.

First we always run off as quickly as we can to sniff where the rabbits live. I always get there first, followed by Monty the Mont and then Marmite who has short legs.

Monty the Mont is always WORRIED. He wants to be with Us and he also wants to be with Persons. Because Persons get left behind he can't be with us all so he runs backwards and forwards all the time.

Persons don't do Running Chasing and Rabbits. They just Walk. (Persons are doing sniffing just now, but it isn't proper Sniffing).

I always have to be in front. When Marmite goes off by herself I get in front of her and try to stop her but she takes no notice of me. She runs along with her nose on the ground and all you can see is her tail. She doesn't look where she's going at all.

I'm a SIGHT HOUND so I do look where I'm going. I'm so fast I can run all over the place Exploring in the Woods at the edge of the field, and I still get back to the Front. I can also LEAP over things and LEAP through the long grass. Monty the Mont can't Leap as high as I can. Marmite can't Leap at all.

Monty can run quite fast. He follows me mostly - when he's not WORRIED and running back to check up that Persons are still there. Here is a picture of Monty the Mont looking WORRIED.

It's TRAINING today and I can show everyone my Wound (or where it was anyway). Shall I be a Very Good Dog do you think? Is Marmite going to be SLOW or VERY SLOW? Is Monty the Mont going to be On The Defensive and will Person have to shake the Bottle With Stones at him, I wonder.

Sunday

Today the Doorbell Rang.

PERSONS? YIPEEE...

My Person managed to put our new No Jumping Up Collars on. (Collars usually mean we were going OUT - maybe for a Run and Sniff and a Hunt in the Big Field). Then my Person took our Collars OFF again. It was Welsh-Person-from-Chalton who had rung the Doorbell but she didn't come in.

Today I stood out in the Thunder and Lightening but I went indoors when it rained too much. There has been lots of RAIN. Marmite likes rain. She likes Water. I don't mind it but Monty the Mont doesn't like it. Here is a picture of Marmite when she had been out in the rain. She was a puppy then.

My Person doesn't take us for Walks beside the River much. This is because Marmite always jumps straight in and sometimes she can't get out again.

Granny-Person came today, but she didn't come to see me. I LEAVE Granny-Person ALONE. (If Granny-Person had Four legs like we do instead of just Two it would be better). It's been a BORING week. I haven't been for a Run and a Hunt since I did my Wound.

I hope all the Persons and Dogs at Person Training next week can still see my Wound because they haven't seen it yet.