Apples and Very Revolting Things

I am now NINE YEARS OLD.

I started my Blog Eight Year Ago, when I was One.

Monty the Mont is nearly Eleven.

 

Sometimes Monty Can't Eat which is strange because Monty the Mont is Always Hungry. Monty has something called Steroids which Make him Eat.

Monty already lived with my Person when she Rescued me - when I was a Puppy.

Anyway, sometimes I don't eat. I'm Not Hungry.

Sometimes I eat Very Slowly so that Monty and Zara have to watch me and DROOL.

Monty Loves Apples. Milly Loves Apples. Little Pickle Loves Apples and Zara Loves Eating Everything, most especially Very Revolting things.

Person has put the old Puppy Pen around the little Apple Tree to Save the Apples.

Little Pickle can Climb Over the Puppy Pen. Person says he's like a Cat.

I Don't Like Apples.

Yesterday Person threw lots of food all over the field and we went on a Big Hunt. Or Monty, Milly, Pickle and Zara went on the Big Hunt.  

(Zara was still Hunting long after everyone else had Finished. Zara is Very Greedy).

I couldn't be bothered. I soon Gave Up.

I hope I don't have Steroids to Make Me Eat.

Anyway, Little Pickle likes Chasing the Ball best of all.

Monty the Mont is getting old

Before Person has even Thrown the Blue Ball, Little Pickle is Running.

Sometimes he Can't Find it.

Milly is Clever. Milly Keeps her Eyes on the Ball, Person says. 

(Eyes on the Ball?)

Zara doesn't Chase the Blue Ball. Zara prefers to Chase Pickle.

However......

I am the Fastest Dog. 

I am a Sight Hound and I am a Speed Hound.

I Watch. I Wait. 

Monty Doesn't Do Chasing anymore.

Monty the Mont is Getting Old.

We like Rain Water best of all.

Pickle gets IN Water Rolls About.

Anyway, Monty the Mont has a White Muzzle.

Monty has White Hairs on his Face too.

I tried to tell you about Person's White Hairs, but she won't type it for me.

Bones and Books

The other day Person Gave us each a Bone to Keep Us Busy.

Person had Guests. 

Guests are Persons who've not come to see Me! (Nor Monty the Mont, not Milly, Nor Zara and certainly Not Pickle).

Person made a BIG MISTAKE

The Bones Person gave us were Cooked Bones.

Next day I was ILL. Monty was ILL. Milly was ILL. Zara was ILL. And Little Pickle was ILL. 

We were ALL ILL.

We Ate Grass to Feel Better.

Anyway, Person's friend Lisa has written a Book. The Book is called The Heartbeat At Your Feet.

I Don't Like Books. 

Person Fixates on Books. When Person is Holding a Book she Ignores me.

Anyway, here is Pickle Pickling behind the Tree Fern.

No More Stitches

My Stitches are All Gone now.

I had to Stand Very Still while the vet cut them with Scissors.

They were Blue Stitches.

Person says because I am Skinny and have No Fur I must still Wear my Coat.

Person has No Fur but doesn't Wear a Coat. (Perhaps that is because she's not Skinny).

I have a New Ball. An Orange Ball. 

I try to make it POP but I can't. It is called a Magic Ball.

Everyone wants my Magic Ball.

Milly Takes my Magic Ball into the Kennel. 

Pickle has to have His Own Ball. It has a Bell in it.

Anyway, this afternoon Zara is Eating Sticks.

Monty the Mont doesn't want his Photo taken.

And I am Taking a Break. 

A Break from Worrying about who wants MY Magic Ball.

A Very BIG Wound

Person said my Gashes were DEEP.

She says it's because I Race through Narrow Gaps. This Narrow Gap must have had Sharp Things in it.

Here are my Two DEEP Gashes.

The Vet Put Me Under. 

Under WHAT?

I wasn't Under anything when I woke up.  I just Felt Sick. And Wobbly.

The Vet had made my Wound BIGGER. She did it while I Was Under.

I now Wear My Coat. 

I can't Lick my BIG Wound. Monty, Milly, Pickle and Zara can't Lick by BIG Wound. 

I had a my First Wound when I was one year old. I told you all about it in my Blog back in 2006. I had my second BIGGER Wound when I was Three Years Old back in 2008. 

Now I have My BIGGEST Wound. I am nearly Nine Years Old now.

Person is giving me Special Food.

(In future I won't Eat unless Person gives me Special Food).

Monty the Mont and Millie don't get Special Food. Nor does Pickle. Nor does Zara.

That's because they don't have a BIG Wound like me.

Anyway, this is Person' Friend Lisa's dog Charlie.

Charlie has One Eye.

They must have Put Charlie Under Something too when they Took Charlie's Eye Away.

They might Take My Eye Away next time. 

I think I shall now Stay On Top and not Go Under any more. 

Nor Race through Narrow Gaps.

Person has Eyes in the Back of her Head

BEWARE OF THE PIP

I Watch. I Wait.

 

I Watch Zara, I Watch Milly, and I Watch Monty the Mont.

Then I POUNCE on Monty.

 

Monty the Mont is TEN YEARS OLD. 

Monty the Mont is the Same Age as Person!

Anyway, this is DoggyCam. 

DoggyCam has EYES.

Person says to Pickle, "I have eyes in the Back of My Head. 

I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE UP TO when I am OUT". 

I have eyes in Front of MY Head.

Moving Monty

I make Monty the Mont Do What I Want.

I just LOOK AT HIM. 

Persons won't Help Me.

But I can't make Little Pickle Do What I Want. Pickle always Does What Pickle Wants.

Pickle IGNORES me.

Pickle Keeps On Pickling.

Conditioning

Person is giving us Magic Tablets.  

 

CONDITIONING TABLETS with Brewers Yeast.

Hmmmm. I know all about Person and her Conditioning. 

I hear her at her desk Talking to Invisible Persons about Conditioning. 

"You must Condition Your Dog to Come When Called".

I am Conditioned Not to Chase Little Pickle. 

Milly is Conditioned to Lie Down when a Someone Comes In. 

 

Pickle is Conditioned to Get Excited whenever Person stands up. She may Take Us Out.

(Person tries to UNcondition him by Sitting Down again). Maybe a Magic Tablet will do the trick.

We do it for food really. 

Anyway, Person says Silly Milly is Less Anxious.

Person says that Monty the Mont has More Energy.

Person says I have a Lovely Coat and the Hair on my Tummy is Growing. 

So, why can't Conditioning Tablets Condition Pickle to Stop Pickling?.

I'm just checking what he is Getting Up To behind me, 

And what Zara has been Eating that she shouldn't.

Hmmmmmm. I wonder.... If Person were to give Pickle Extra Conditioning Tablets, could he be Conditioned Not to Annoy Me?

Keeping Cool

We have a New Paddling Pool. Old Paddling Pool Developed a Hole.

(Milly Developed the Hole in Old Paddling Pool. I saw her).

 Pickle Gets INTO Water.

Little Pickle tries to Get INTO our Drinking Water Bowl too.

He gets his Front Feet in our Water Bowl.

He Digs the Water out out All Over the Floor.

Anyway, Zara can Pant and Carry a Ball at the same time.

And Monty the Mont has Developed a Hunger. He wants his Tea.

Eating Water

Today it is HOT.

Pickle is Eating Water.

We have a Water Fountain coming out of the Willow Tree Arch.

One day Monty the Mont hopes to Catch the Water.

Person says Silly Milly gets Drunk in Water. 

Milly Drunk?  

It's the Water that's Drunk by me.

Anyway, I only like Water from the Drinking Bucket. 

NOT from a Fountain in the Willow Tree Arch.

NOT in a Pool.

And NOT coming out of the Sky.

Dead Baby Mole

We all are WAITING. Waiting till we are ALL Calm.

Waiting for Pickle to be Calm.

WAITING to go into the Field.



But where's Pickle? (where's Wally?).

Anyway, today Pickle dug a Mole Hill. Pickle dug up a Baby Mole and Zara helped him.

Now he is Protecting his Baby Mole.

He didn't Mean to Kill it. It Just Died.

Milly wants the Dead Baby Mole. Zara wants the Dead Baby Mole.

Pickle doesn't Growl.

 
Person says she is Proud of us because we Don't Quarrel over Dead Baby Moles.

But Person says she's Sad. Sad for a Baby Mole. SAD??

I'm not interested in Baby Moles and nor is Monty the Mont.

I'm not quite sure what Sad is.....

....unless it's what I feel when Person stops me Chasing Little Pickle.

Anyway, Little Pickle has now given his Dead Baby Mole to Person in exchange for a Marrowbone Markie and we can at last go into the Sitting Room.

May NOT Day

Yesterday was May Day.

Yesterday was May NOT Day for Little Pickle.

May NOT Annoy Monty.

May NOT Dig Holes. 

May NOT Bark.

May NOT Steal Milly's Bone.

May NOT Corner Zara under the bench. 

May Not Scramble Over the Barrier. 

I Just Watch.   

I'm a Good Boy