Home Alone

Here I am with Milly in our field.

On Sunday Person came home smelling of a Weimerana called Bailey.

Bailey is very ANXIOUS when he is left Home Alone. Now Bailey is very SCARED when his Person comes back home.

When he is left Home Alone, Bailey is so ANXIOUS that he CHEWS things and sometimes WEES.

Last Thursday Bailey's Man Person came home and found a MUCH BIGGER MESS than ever before.

Bailey was hiding.

Bailey's Person walked into the kitchen and found a BIG POO.

Bailey's Person was ANGRY.

Bailey's Person walked through the house and found lots of WEES.

Bailey's Person became MORE ANGRY.

Bailey's Person went upstairs and found DOG SICK on the bedroom floor.

Cupboards were open and there was MESS EVERYWHERE.

Bailey's Person was VERY VERY ANGRY with Bailey.

Bailey was VERY VERY VERY SCARED.

Then Bailey's Person realised that a BURGLAR had been in the House.

Then Bailey's Person was so VERY VERY SORRY he had been angry with Bailey.

Bailey didn't understand 'sorry'.

So now my Person has shown Bailey's Persons how never to get angry with Bailey, and what to do instead.

She told him DOGS ARE NEVER NAUGHTY. They always have a Good Reason.

That means I can go back to digging in the field and pulling up the black stuff under the shingle that stops the weeds growing through, then.

Person is never Angry with Silly Milly. Person is not Angry with Milly, even when she pulls up the black stuff under the shingle in the garden like I showed her.

Anyway, I am never Home Alone, Monty the Mont is never Home Alone, Marmite is never Home Alone and Milly Molly is never Home Alone.

Because when Person goes out, we have each other.

Partners in Crime

It is VERY QUIET.

Monty the Mont and Marmite are asleep.

Person is WORRIED again.

Person can't See ME. Person can't See Silly Milly. Person can't Hear us either.

So Person CREEPS OUT to look through the gate into our Field to see what we are UP TO.

(Person says That Pip and That Milly are always UP TO SOMETHING).

Here is a picture of Milly in the Paddling Pool.

Milly LIKES SPLASHING IN WATER. (I don't like in Splashing Water).

This is Milly's Crate. It is MY Den now.


Monty the Mont is very Barky now (Person shuts him by himself when he Starts Barking). Marmite is very Playful now, until she gets cross with Milly.

Anyway, I have now decided Milly is a GOOD THING.

I am Teaching Milly LESSONS like How to Chase Birds and How to Play Tug and How to Scrunch Live Snails and How to Pull Bits Off Plants and How to Pretend to be Deaf.

I am saving teaching Milly How to Dig Holes for later.

Silly Milly

Milly Molly is just about OK when she is lying down. Milly Molly is Best when she is ASLEEP.

Milly likes playing with Marmite. But I don't like Milly playing with Marmite.

I get cross with Silly Milly, but Milly doesn't take any notice of me. Person never gets cross with Milly. Person is VERY QUIET. Person does STANDING STILL and DOING NOTHING.

Sometimes I show Milly my TEETH. Milly doesn't care.

Here is a picture of me showing my TEETH to Milly (and Monty the Mont is keeping out of it).

A man has come today to make some Concrete, and Milly is barking at the man. Milly is SCARED of him.

I try to tell Milly to STOP barking at the Concrete Man. I BARK at her. But Milly won't take any notice of me.

Persons says that one day Milly will Grow Good. One day, when Milly Grows Good, I will show her how to dig HOLES.

Milly is VERY BRAVE with Dogs and Milly is VERY SCARED with Persons. She tiddles if Persons look at her. She tiddles if Persons talk to her.

Milly tiddles if My Person bends over her.

So Person sits on the floor with Milly and she doesn't tiddle. Then Milly likes a Cuddle. Milly likes to be Brushed.

Anyway, I don't like Person giving Milly a Cuddle.

But Milly doesn't care.

Milly

Today Milly came.

Milly is a German Shepherd and Milly is Fifteen Weeks Old.

Person says Milly came from a Puppy Farm. Person gets our Raw Chicken Wings from a Turkey Farm.

Milly was kept in a Big Cage with other dogs and puppies.

Then she went to live with Another Person. Another Person didn't want her.

Milly is Very SCARED of Persons.

But Milly isn't Scared of Me. Milly isn't Scared of Marmite. Milly isn't even Scared of Monty the Mont who told her off for jumping on him.

We have all been Chasing around our field in the Rain. SIXTEEN DIRTY FEET Person says.

Person is 'DOING NOTHING' with Milly because she says this will make Milly More Brave with Persons.

But I fear Milly might soon become a bit TOO Brave.

Milly has been here for just half a day and then ....... she Jumped Up ....at Person!

Person Did Nothing so as not to Scare her.

Anyway, Milly is now asleep again for a very little while.

Later I shall teach her about HOLES.

Bones and Raw Food Diet

I have a Sore Nose.

I made my nose SORE because of a BONE. A Big Raw Meaty Bone. I didn't know what to do with it so I Buried it by Digging a HOLE and pushing it and covering it up with my Nose. Then I Dug it up. Then I Buried it again somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again. Then I Buried somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again.

Then Person took my Big Raw Meaty Bone away.

The other morning I thought I was going to get my FOOD. My nice Crunchy Dried Food. But Person gave me two Raw Chicken Wings instead.

Is this FOOD? Do I EAT them? HOW?

Marmite was already SCRUNCHING her Raw Chicken Wings because Marmite will Eat Anything. Monty the Mont then SCRUNCHED on his Chicken Wings.

Person cut mine Two Raw Chicken Wings into little bits. I Sniffed them.

THIS IS NOT FOOD.

Then, for tea Person gave me SLUDGE.

I Love SLUDGE. It is TASTY. Sludge is all minced up. It has Raw cabbage and cauliflower and carrots, and sometimes it has Raw Fish, and it always has Raw Meat, it sometimes has Raw Liver and it sometimes has Raw Cows Heart, and sometimes it has Fruit.

This is what my SLUDGE looks like.

And here is Marmite eating SLUDGE.

I can now Scrunch my Chicken Wings. I have Worked It Out!

Anyway, Chickens don't need their Wings because Chickens Don't need to Fly. Chickens RUN. They have to RUN in order to cross roads so they can get to the Other Side.

Person also gave us BIG RAW MEATY BONES to chew.

Marmite took her Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Field. Monty the Mont took his Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Garden.

I first took my Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Kennel to my Bed.

Person now only gives us SMALL Raw Meaty Bones, because my Big Raw Meaty Bone made my Nose BLEED.

Then, when there are only three little bits of Meaty Bone left, we all lie down together in the field and Swap Bones.

Hail and Snow

Here is my Funny Face. Person says she can see Right Up My Nose.

There was HAIL today. Hard cold white balls fell out of the sky. They HURT.

Person says the Hailstones were the size of Sugar Lumps. (I don't know what Sugar Lumps are, but she says that Horses would).

A few days ago there was SNOW. Snow is fun. Snow doesn't Hurt my Head like Hail Hurts my Head. Monty the Mont and Marmite didn't want to Play.

My Dog Listener Person went to see a Yellow Labrador called Becky. Becky lives with Misty who is a dog called a Bichon Frise.

Becky is SCARED of Persons who come to her House. I'm not Scared of any Persons who come to my House.

Becky looks just like my dad did, though Becky is a Bitch. (I'm not allowed to call a She-Person a Bitch).

Anyway, I WAS just a little bit SCARED when Sugar Lumps were dropping out of the Sky onto my Head.

That Pip

Person calls Monty the Mont Monty.

Person calls Marmite Marmite.

Person calls me That Pip.

What is That Pip up to. Where is That Pip. What has That Pip done now.

I have a New Bed. Monty the Mont has a New Bed and Marmite has a New Bed.

My bed is never the Bed I am actually lying on. It is either the Bed Monty the Mont is lying on, or it is the Bed Marmite is lying on.

My Person went to see Maisie yesterday. Maisie is a Chocolate Labrador and she is Twelve Weeks Old. But Maisie isn't Too Fat like Marmite.

Maisie has found out she is just big enough to jump up on the sofa.

I think Maisie's Persons will soon be calling her That Maisie.

Anyway, just now I have Two New Beds all to myself.

I Love You

Persons did something called Valentine's Day last week.

My Person did the I Love You STRETCH to me.

She got onto her knees. Then she STRETCHED her hands out towards me on the floor.

So I did one of my special STREEEEETCHES back to her, and LICKED her on the Nose.

Then Person said Ouch, I'm stuck.

Some of Person's Friends tried it with their dogs.

And nearly all Person's Friends dogs STREEETCHED right back.

One of Person's Friends dogs just looked at his Person and walked away.

Another of Person's Friends dogs Humped his Person's head.

Anyway, I love my Person better now she is no longer picking up the Small Sharp Scissors when she thinks I am asleep.

Person has finally removed all the Black Stitches. The nurse said the Black Stitches would go all by themselves, but they didn't.

My New Wound is now a New Pink SCAR.

My New Wound

I have a NEW Wound.

Nobody heard me SCREAM this time.

Monty the Mont and Marmite Cornered me behind the Bonfire and I ran into something SHARP and STICKING OUT. I kept running but my Skin stayed still.

I have SEVEN Stitches.

Person thinks that I can't CHEW my New Wound and Person thinks I can't SCRATCH my New Wound. This is because Person has bought me a Corderoy COAT.

I heard someone say Big Girls Blouse.

I Love my Corderoy Coat and I wear it all the time.

Person thinks I can't get my Nose under my Corderoy Coat to Lick my New Wound.

While I waited for the Vet to Take me Away, I talked to a Chocolate Labrador just like Marmite. I lay on my back with my legs in the air and she Kissed me.

Chocolate Labrador's Persons looked at my New Wound and said Oh Dear.

The Vet looked at my New Wound and the Vet said Oh Dear.

It was a Boring Day. I was in a Cage all morning.

When Person came to fetch me I felt ODD. I said Hello to a Spaniel, then I jumped into the car (OUCH) and went to sleep.

Anyway, I am getting my Corderoy Coat as dirty as I can now. When Person takes my Corderoy Coat to wash it, I will be able to show EVERYONE my New Wound.

Merry Christmas

Persons have this thing called Christmas. It's something to do with a Baby Person who was born Long Long Ago.

Baby Person Eddie came here last week. Baby Person Eddie was born 5 Months Ago. I was born 30 Months Ago.

Baby Person Eddie does CRYING when he wants something. Person gives him what he wants.

If I do Crying or if Monty the Mont does Crying or if Marmite does Crying, Person doesn't give US what we want. She goes away and does something else.

I love Baby Eddie Person. He Smells Interesting.

I wonder whether the Baby Person born Long Long Ago Smelt Interesting too?

Some dogs my Dog Listener Person goes to see have BIRDS living Inside their Home.

A Black Dog called Charlie has a Crow living with him.

Charlie's Crow flies around the House. Charlie's Crow can TALK Person-Talk.

Another Dog who lives with a Bird is Shelly. Shelly is a White German Shepherd. Shelly also lives with Chihuahua called Rosie. Shelly and Rosie have a Cockateel.





















My Dog Listener Person went to see a Boxer Dog called Fred. Person went to see Fred because he did TOO MUCH BARKING.

Fred has a Parrot living with him. Parrot was born Long Long Ago because she is a Very Old Bird.

Parrot says BED FRED and Fred goes to his bed. Parrot says WOOF WOOF and Fred BARKS and then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.

Parrot makes Car-Stopping noises and Fred BARKS then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.

Parrot can make Doorbell noise. Fred runs to the door and BARKS and Parrot goes WOOF WOOF SHUT UP FRED.

My Person says she's not a Parrot Listener. I think I heard Person say Sellotape and Beak.

Anyway, I don't know if I can do Christmas. But I can do MERRY.

It's hard to do MERRY quietly.

So have a MERRY Christmas.

Getting into a STATE

Person went to see a VERY BIG DOG this week.

The VERY BIG dog's name is Turkish. Turkish is an English Mastiff. Turkish lives with Stella who is the same colour as ME!

Turkish may be VERY BIG, but sometimes Turkish can be VERY SCARED.

Turkish is also very Gentle. His Persons are now letting Turkish understand that Persons are IN CHARGE. Soon Turkish won't be Scared any longer.

Person then went to see a White Border Collie called Bing.

Bing is only 9 months old. Bing was in Kennels until she was Five Months Old because nobody wanted her! Bing is DEAF and Bing is Nearly BLIND and Bing has a lovely home now.

I'm a Sight Hound so I'm not Nearly Blind. I'm a Hearing Hound too. I can Hear EVERYTHING. I can hear Hedgehogs under the bonfire in our field.

Poor Bing gets Very Confused.

Bing GETS INTO A STATE. Bing Spins and she Snaps the Air and she Barks and she Pants.

My Dog Listener Person showed Bing's He-Person how to do Calm Freeze.

So, Bing's He-Person held Bing for a Long LONG Time. He held onto Bing FIRMLY and CALMLY.

Then Bing lay down. Bing became CALM. Then Bing sighed.

A little while later Bing was quite OK and she went off to play. So now Bing's Persons know what to do when Bing GETS INTO A STATE.

It's time now for me to go out and look at my New Hole in the field. (Dog Listeners say Digging Holes is something to do with Status. Weird). I'm just Digging for MOLES.

Bing could Dig for Moles if she was with me and Marmite and Monty the Mont in our field. You don't need to SEE and you don't need to HEAR to dig up Moles. Bing could SCENT moles.

Anyway, because I'm a Hearing Hound and I can hear EVERYTHING, I shall be able to hear if He-Person comes to see what that Bloody Pip's up to.

When He-Person catches me Digging Holes, he GETS INTO A STATE too.

Fireworks

Yesterday I heard a BIG BANG.

WOOF

Then another BIG BANG. Person looked up and said Fireworks. Then Person just went back to watching Casualty. That must be OK then.

So I went back to sleep on Person's feet.

I'm not scared of firework BANGS. Monty the Mont isn't scared of firework BANGS. Marmite isn't scared of firework BANGS.

When bright lights FIZZ and SHOOT and EXPLODE and SHOWER DOWN in the sky, I sit outside on our veranda, Monty the Mont sits outside on our veranda and Marmite sits outside on our veranda.

Sometimes Person sits outside on our veranda with us.

We watch the fireworks FIZZING and BANGING and EXPLODING and SHOWERING DOWN.

Because my Person is a Dog Listener she is helping other dogs not to be scared of BANGS and FIREWORKS. She shows Owner Persons how to behave like she does.

My Dog Listener Person says to Owner Persons Don't Fuss and Cuddle and Comfort Your Dog because it will think you are SCARED and WORRIED. Act NORMAL.

Anyway, I like Person Cuddling and Fussing me. It makes me feel IMPORTANT.

When I get to feel toooooo IMPORTANT Person does her Dog Listening on me and IGNORES me.

Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy

Eddie is a Baby Person Grandchild and Eddie is 11 weeks old.

I like Eddie's smell. Baby Persons don't have to go Outside to do their Poos. Baby Persons do Poos and Tiddles in Nappies.

Monty the Mont is getting in my way.

I can't lick Eddie's feet because Eddie is in a Travel Cot. I slept in a Dog Crate when I was a Baby Dog.

I was a Baby Dog two years ago.

When I was a Baby Dog every time I woke up Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy. Every time after I ate my food Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy. Even in the middle of every night Person took me Outside and she said Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy.

Person never says Tiddle Tiddle Good Boy to Eddie.

I wonder why Baby Dogs don't wear Nappies.

Anyway, Person no longer says Tiddle Tiddle to me, but she still says Good Boy sometimes, (but she didn't say Good Boy after I chewed her Driving Licence yesterday).

Puppies

Person went to Dog Listen with two puppies last week.

One was another Golden Retriever. Her name is Purdy and she is 12 weeks old.

Purdy has very SHARP TEETH.

And Leo is a Labradoodle and he is 18 weeks old.

Leo's teeth aren't quite so SHARP as Purdy's, but Leo is already Big and Strong, and Leo PULLS his Person when he is out on his lead going for Walks.

Already Purdy is learning not to nip Persons with her TEETH. Already Leo is learning not to PULL on the lead.

This is Leo. You can see Leo's He-Person's shoes too.

Person bought me and Marmite and Monty the Mont a New Toy each when she came home today from seeing a Beardie and a Collie.

Monty the Mont and Marmite are chasing me round the lawn mower trying to get MY New Toy.

Soon I shall have all Three of the New Toys.

Person says this is called DOG IN THE MANGER. I would like it in The Manger.

Anyway, Monty the Mont can NEVER catch me. Marmite can NEVER catch me.

Going to Work

Person has been to see lots and lots of dogs because she is a Dog Listener.

So, Person has been Too Busy to write my Blog for me.

But there is good news. Pippin has a New Home. Pippin's NEW Persons have a lot more time for Pippin, and Pippin's new He-Person even takes Pippin to Work.

WORK is something Persons do. Dog Listening is my Person's Work. I would like Person to take me with her to her Work.

Today if I had gone to Work with Person I would have met Bella and Bella is just ten weeks old. Bella is a Golden Retriever. Person says Bella is Very Determined. (Person sometimes says that I am Very Determined, so Very Determined must be good).

In this picture Bella is THINKING.

Bella has just nipped my Person on the finger and Person SQUEELED - just like I would Squeel if Bella bit me. Person turned her back on Bella and walked away. So Bella is now THINKING.

Anyway, If I went to Work with Person and Bella had nipped me, I wouldn't have Squeeled.

I would have NIPPED Bella back.

Then Bella would know not to nip ME again.

Pippin

Something very sad is happening about Pippin.

A little while ago I told my Blog about Pippin. He is a brindled Staffie Boxer cross my Dog Listener Person went to see (I'm called Pip).



When my Dog Listener Person left Pippin's house, she whispered to her I love you and I would like to put you in my bag and take you home.

I didn't know if I wanted a Brindled Staffie Cross in my Home - especially a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. I already have Monty the Mont and I have Marmite to teach I'm BOSS. (Monty the Mont doesn't agree).

Anyway, Person says Brindled Staffie Cross Pippin's own Persons wouldn't let her come to my home.

Now Pippin's Persons are going a LONG WAY AWAY to somewhere called the Middle East. They can't take Pippin. This is because she is half Staffie and Not Allowed in the Middle East (I'm half Saluki - would I be Allowed in the Middle East?)

So Pippin needs a New Home.

My Person says she LOVES Pippin, but now she says we can't have her. Person says she can't come and live here really. But I could learn to like her, so could Monty the Mont. Marmite would like her straight away.

Person says she LOVES me. I hope she keeps having me living here and doesn't send me away if Half Saluki is Not Allowed in the Middle East.

Another Lurcher

My Person came home today smelling of LURCHER and that Lurcher wasn't me! It was a Bigger Lurcher and a Browner Lurcher. His name is Ted.

Ted is only 9 months old and Ted likes Digging Holes. I like Digging Holes too. You can see one of Ted's Holes in the picture.

Ted has a Girl-Person called Molly. I hope Molly writes to me in my Blog.

Person has been to see lots and lots of dogs, and I have been shut OUTSIDE. It has RAINED and RAINED. We have the garden, our kennel and our field to play in. I don't think Persons trusts me in the house any more. Not since I ate the Ten Pound Note. (While I was shut OUTSIDE last week I did manage to spread barbeque coal all over the garden).

There is Very Good News. Poppy the the Tan Greyhound has found a NEW HOME.

There is Very Sad News which made my Person cry tears. Robin who was Mary Person's Labrador and who was a Very Old Dog had to be Put to Sleep. Here is a picture of Robin with Hunny:

Anyway, I don't need to be Put to Sleep. I can go to sleep all by myself.

Brindled Staffie Cross

My Person came home today smelling of Jack Russell and Border Collie. Jack Russell is called Towser and here he is:


Yesterday Person smelled of two Rotties and the day before she smelled of a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. That is funny, because I'm called Pip.

When she left Pippin's house, my Person whispered to her I love you and I would like to put you in my bag and take you home.

I don't know if I want a Brindled Staffie Cross in my Home - especially a Brindled Staffie Cross called Pippin. I already have Monty the Mont and I have Marmite to teach I'm BOSS. (Monty the Mont doesn't agree).

Anyway, Person says Brindled Staffie Cross Pippin's own Persons love her too much, so she can't come to my home.

A Home for Poppy where she is Safe and Loved

Poppy is a Greyhound. She isn't a Grey Greyhound though. Poppy is Tan. She should be called a Tanhound. Poppy looks a bit like ME.

Poppy is 5 years old.

Poppy's Persons have SPLIT UP and Poppy has NOWHERE TO LIVE. All she longs for is to be Safe and Loved. I am Safe and Loved. So is Monty the Mont and so is Marmite.

I don't like the sound of SPLITTING UP. I did have my WOUND last year though, when I pierced myself on the wire fence.

Poppy was an Irish racing dog. Before her Persons SPLIT UP, Poppy was just starting to be a Dog and not just a Racing Machine. I want to find Poppy a NEW HOME so she can be Safe and Loved just like I am.

Person came home smelling of two HUGE Great Danes on Thursday. They are called Pluto and Skye. Because Person is a Dog Listener she showed Great Danes Persons how to give Pluto and Skye Time Out by IGNORING them, and THANKING them when they Bark.

When Person left she called Pluto to her and gave him a Treat. Then she called Skye to her and gave her a Treat too.

On Friday morning Pluto and Skye's Persons said to my Dog Listener Person: "Did your treats have some sort of Tranquiliser in them? How can they have changed so dramatically – it is amazing".

Anyway, I like to be a Racing Machine. Monty the Mont and Marmite can't catch me.

And it would take a LOT more than that to Tranquilise ME.

That Bloody Pip

I was very WORRIED today. I thought Marmite was Never Coming Home. Monty the Mont thought Marmite was Never Coming Home.

He-Person and He-Person's Rellies from New Zealand took Marmite for a Hunt (Persons say Walk). Marmite is Monty the Mont's Rellie. They have the same father.

He Persons and Rellie-Persons didn't take me for a Hunt and they didn't take Monty the Mont for a Hunt. We stayed at Home with Person.

On Monday I didn't get any of Person's attention because on Monday Luke and Lovely Louise brought Elle-Baby-Person to our house. Ruth Person's Second Born and Allen came to our house too. These are She-Person's Rellies.

I was Shut behind the caging, Monty the Mont was Shut behind the caging and Marmite was Shut behind the caging.

I like the smell of Baby. But I couldn't even get to Baby Elle's feet to lick them.

So on Tuesday I thought it was time to get some ATTENTION.

He-Person called me That Bloody Pip on Tuesday. She-Person said she couldn't think What Got Into me.

But instead of ATTENTION, Person didn't SPEAK to me all evening. Person didn't LOOK at me all evening. Person IGNORED me.

Person didn't SPEAK to me all Wednesday. Person didn't LOOK at me all Wednesday. Person IGNORED me.

Person did all her Dog Listening things with me. Person did Gesture Eating with me. Person kept me BEHIND her.

Anyway, I knew Person wouldn't be able to keep it up because she loves me really. On Thursday she gave me a Big Cuddle.

Perhaps He-Person and He-Person's Rellies from New Zealand will take me for a Hunt tomorrow.

A dog that doesn't like Walks!

My Person came home from Dog Listening smelling of two Black Labradors and a Ginger CAT last Wednesday.

One of the Black Labradors is called Ebony. Ebony is SCARED. Ebony doesn't like Walks. Doesn't like Walks! I LOVE Walks (really Walks are Hunts, Sniffs and Runs).

Monty the Mont is a Black Labrador, but Monty isn't SCARED like Ebony when he's out on Walks.

Ebony has her Tail Down and she Hangs Back. If Ebony's Person lets her off-lead, Ebony runs away and doesn't come back for a Long Time.

Ebony's Person had sent Ebony away to stay with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week.

Afterwards, the Dog Trainer told Ebony's Person to Hide and to Watch. The Trainer walked past with Ebony.

Ebony had no lead and she walked happily beside the Dog Trainer. Ebony's Tail was Waggy and she was Smiling. Then the Dog Trainer sent Ebony away to play with two other dogs in a field. Then he called Ebony back and she came right away.

Ebony's Person said Ebony looked like a Different Dog. She had never before seen Ebony looking happy on a walk, with her Tail Waggy.

My Tail Is Curly and Waggy, Monty the Mont's Tail is Straight and Waggy just like Ebony's and so is Marmite's.

Sadly, as SOON as Ebony was back home with her Person she was Scared again.

As SOON as Ebony's Person put the lead on Ebony's tail Went Down. As SOON as Ebony's Person took Ebony's lead off, Ebony ran away again and didn't come back for a Long Time.

My Person said it just shows Ebony Never Needed a Dog Trainer.

My Dog Listener Person showed Ebony's Person how to behave like an Alpha Wolf, just like the Dog Trainer did.

My Person won't be sending me away to live with a Dog Trainer for a Whole Week. Anyway, I have learnt to play her Dog Listening Games. Monty the Mont learnt to Play Person's Dog Listening Games. (Person says Marmite is getting a bit Above Herself lately so Marmite is being IGNORED for a while).

Here is a picture of Ebony, Inca and the Ginger CAT (Ebony is at the back):

Person DARE NOT take me to Dog Training

I have not been to see Linsey Trainer Person at Person Training (Dog Training ha ha) for a Long Time. Marmite hasn't been to Training for a Long Time. (Monty the Mont never goes to Training because Monty the Mont doesn't like Training).

Granny Person is in Hospital. Person goes to see Granny Person Every Day to help her to eat her Dinner.

I would like Person to help me to eat my Dinner. If Person helped me to eat my Dinner it would make me feel IMPORTANT. Instead, she IGNORES me when I eat my Dinner. Then she removes my bowl straight away - before Marmite can come and see if I have left anything for her.

Person is visiting Granny Person and she is doing Dog Listening with lots of other Dogs. So Person now hasn't much time for Me, or for Monty the Mont or for Marmite.

Person says we are Getting Above Ourselves.

So Person DARE NOT take me or Marmite to Training now. I just might JUMP UP. I just might PULL ON LEAD. Marmite just might make a PUDDLE on the Floor.

A Dog Listener CANNOT have Dogs herself that Jump Up or Pull on Lead or make a Puddle on the Floor.

Luke, Person's Fourth Born, came to see us with Lovely Louise and Baby Elle.

Anyway, I'm off out to our Field now to see what Monty the Mont is Barking at.

PS. Dog Listeners CANNOT have Dogs that Bark out in the Field, either.

Trouble

I'm Not Allowed Toys in the House. We must go OUTSIDE to Play.

But because Person is out Dog Listening all the time, Person says we are Getting Away With Murder.

The rug slides across the wood floor when I chase Monty the Mont and when Monty the Mont chases Marmite and when Marmite chases me to get the Toy. Then I Get Into Trouble.

On Monday Person came home smelling of Patterdale. Patterdale is called Ruby. Ruby does Vertical Take-Off. This is Ruby.

On Tuesday Person came home smelling of two Bull Mastiffs called Max and Macy.

Everyone was IGNORING Max because Max was Clamouring for Attention. Max has a Very Big Head.

Here is Macy Keeping Out of Trouble.

I don't always Keep Out of Trouble. I quite like Trouble. It's better than being IGNORED.

Anyway, I don't need to do Vertical Take-Off because I'm Tall. Monty the Mont doesn't need to do Vertical Take-Off because he's Tall also.

Marmite isn't Tall, but Marmite is too FAT to do Vertical Take-Off.

Isolated from The Pack

Person came home smelling of Italian Spinone yesterday evening.

Italian Spinone didn't smell like Green Pasta though. It smelt of Big Puppy called Monty. But Monty Spinone doesn't look like Monty the Mont at all. Monty Spinone is Pale Grey. Monty the Mont is Black.

Monty Spinone has Very Big Feet which means he will grow into a Very Big Dog.

Person also came home smelling of Dexter who lives with Monty Spinone. Dexter is a Flatcoat Retriever and he is Black (just like Monty the Mont).

Dexter once saw some Persons having a Picnic in a Field. I would love a Picnic in a Field. Dexter came back with two Ham Sandwiches. Picnic Persons were standing up and shouting.

Person Dog Listener has been to see Dexter, so when Dexter gets Too Big for his Boots he is ISOLATED from The Pack. He goes into the Kitchen All By Himself for a little while. When Monty Spinone gets Too Big for his Boots he will be ISOLATED from the Pack for a minute in the Study.

Monty Spinone needs Very Big Boots because he has Very Big Feet.

When I get Too Big for my Boots I am ISOLATED from The Pack in the Hall. Then I go into the Bedroom because the door doesn't shut and I eat Tissues from the Bin.

I know that Person won't ISOLATE me from The Pack for long, even though she is a Dog Listener.

Person Loves me really.

Anyway, Person doesn't trust me in the Bedroom.

Here is a Dog Sandwich- Me with Marmite and Monty the Mont.

Failing to Comply

Person had a letter from Cambridgeshire Constabulary.

The letter says Person Failed to Comply with the Speed Limit. This is the SECOND time Person has Failed to Comply with the Speed Limit.

Person can only Fail to Comply with the Speed Limit one more time. If she Fails to Comply with the Speed Limit MORE than one more time, then there will be No More Dog Listening.

If Person did NO More Dog Listening, then Person could take me out for HUNTING, SNIFFING and MARKING instead. She could take out Monty the Mont, and Marmite too.

Persons don't Go Marking and Persons don't Go Sniffing. They just do 'Walks' because they 'feel like it' because the sun is shining.

Strange.

Person is Not Happy with me today. I Failed to Comply with Person's Garden Limits.

When Person was out Dog Listening I made another HOLE in the fence. So now Person is now IGNORING ME for a..l o n g..t i m e.

Anyway, if Person keeps on Failing to Comply with the Speed Limit, Person can't go out Dog Listening any more and I shall not make HOLES in the fence any more.

I am trying to have a Very SORRY and COMPLIANT Look on my Face.

Here is Noola with Dizzy. Dizzy has a Very RESIGNED Look on her Face. Perhaps Noola is Failing to Comply with Dizzy's Patience Limits.


Here is George who Person did Dog Listening with yesterday.

George has a Very SMUG Look on his Face because George is Failing to Comply with Person's Dog Listening Limits.

George is now sitting in Person's chair. Person gently pushed George away all evening and Ignored him.

But then Person stood up.